


Princess of Terra

by Valyria



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dubious Morality, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Heavy Angst, Porn, Slavery, angst like whoa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:15:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 58,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valyria/pseuds/Valyria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following a failed rebellion lead by a Terran prince and a traitorous Vulcan, Empress T'Pau sends her eldest son, Prince Sarek, to ensure the Terrans have learnt their lesson. The human princess Amanda soon discovers that she is to be the instrument of his revenge. It seems she is doomed to pay the price for her brother's crimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PoorQueequeg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorQueequeg/gifts), [KerryLamb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryLamb/gifts).



> This is *not* the S/A fic I've been working on for a while, (that one isn't crazy AU), just something written for fun in emails to PoorQueequeg and Lamb.
> 
> This story is a short AU inspired by a throw away comment PQ made about Amanda being Sarek's little human love slave. Um. My brain took that and ran... quite.. some distance...
> 
> WARNINGS: This is SUPER DARK and MEGA ANGSTY and VERY PORNY. Amanda is more or less a slave for most of the fic.
> 
> EDIT: ha ha 'short au'. yeah this was meant to be 3 chapters long. I think it will be closer to 80k. whoops.

  
[](http://imgur.com/87dJiRu)   


**PART I**

She heard movement in the outer chambers and the low murmur of conversation in a language that was forbidden to her, but she remained locked in the bedroom, waiting for the Prince, ignored.

Three hours had passed since she had been escorted into the room according to the clock hung on the wall. An ancient time piece, and not accurate – Amanda knew the servants had to adjust it twice-daily - but a valuable antique, and the Imperial Estate had been filled to the brim with Terran riches over the last 150 years.

Amanda crossed her arms tightly. The grandness of her own home - the Terran wing on the far side of the compound - often inspired in her a vague privileged guilt, but the Imperial Residence made her feel almost unclean. It was like trespassing in a tomb crammed with riches. The entire place was a monument to the excesses of human taste. Prince Sarek's rooms were no exception. Everything was gilt and polished and encrusted with precious metals and stones. None of it matched however, it was a mish-mash of dozens of different Terran cultures. The overall effect was something like a pirate's hoard, vulgar and unsettling.

She crossed the large room to stare out one of the windows, careful to avoid looking at the huge bed in the centre of the space. She did not wish to be reminded of the reason for her imprisonment in such a lavish prison. As she expected, there was a secure forcefield in place across the window to prevent unauthorised entry or exit, but the view was otherwise unimpeded. The Terran Hall of Justice blocked her view of her home across the Estate's grounds, but she could make out part of the tall structure beyond it and could estimate where her rooms were situated. Her father's suite would be almost level with her, close enough to wave in between had the Hall of Justice not been in the way.

She wondered if her father was in those chambers, perhaps looking out towards her even now? Maybe he was crying and raging over her fate, trying desperately to think of some way to save her. Or perhaps he had dismissed it as easily as he had that of her brother. Her eyes strayed down the squat grey building below her. Daniel had survived almost two months in the Halls of Justice before he'd succumbed to the tortures of the disciplinary council. Or so her father's informants had told them. Four months earlier Amanda had stood at her own window and looked down on the courtyard, down at her older brother's dark head as he'd been led to what all knew was to be a slow painful death. She had cried, but she'd also been proud. Daniel had not been dragged along by the guards - he had met his fate bravely.

Humans were weak and stupid in comparison to Vulcans, but they were brave. It was said that it was the braveness of humans that had softened Emperor Solkar towards them. All human children were taught how Solkar had seen something almost Vulcan in humanity, of how instead of subjecting them entirely as he had the Orions and the Andorians or wiping them out of existence like the pig-men of Tellar, they were granted citizenship. Secondary citizenship of course, and subject to many conditions, but still. Terra was ruled by a Terran, no other race in the Empire could boast such a thing. Amanda's great-great-great-great-grandfather, Admiral Richard Grayson, Commander-in-Chief of the United Earth Forces, had sighed the peace treaty with the Vulcan Empire and been named first King of Terra. The Graysons had ruled in first Solkar's, then Skon's and now T'Pau's name for over a 150 years since.

Previously she'd believed that it was their courage, their refusal to stop fighting the Vulcans that had appealed to Solkar, now perhaps, she wondered if it was merely the lucky co-incidence that humans and Vulcans looked so alike. Ears and eyebrows were little things. Vulcans did not find looking at a human as distasteful as looking at a blue Andorian with their antennae or a green Orion. A human had but to wear a head covering and they could, at a glance, pass as a Vulcan. They were just different enough physically to be interestingly exotic without being overly alien to the Vulcans.

And so Solkar had whimsically made humans something like pets, or wards, to the Empire. Terrans, reduced from 8 Billion to 900,000 by the war with the Empire, were much in demand as servants and skilled labourers to Vulcan citizens. Owing to the kindness of Emperor Solkar, humans could not be made slaves unless they were criminals and it was considered a status symbol for a Vulcan household to keep a human or two in employ. A handmaiden, a driver or perhaps a valet. Favoured positions for favoured servants. More humans lived off planet then on their homeworld now. They were scattered across the galaxy serving the Empire. Their woman bowed and scraped and served and their men fought and died. Humans made up a large portion of the Empire's military forces, fierce proud warriors fighting for the Empress, grateful to be able to defend the borders and subdue the lesser races. Her brother had once counted amongst them. Before the ill-fated rebellion. The would be coup.

Amanda wondered if she was as brave as Daniel had been. Would she last two months? She glanced at the still-closed door. Her torture was not to be as bloody, but she was resigned to the same fate regardless. Prince Sarek would kill her, of that she had no doubt.

* * *

' _That_  Terran woman your highness?' queried the King of Terra in confusion.

The Prince merely glowered by way of response. Amanda swallowed nervously and gave her father a wide-eyed imploring look.

'Ah – there has been some confusion Prince Sarek,' her father continued nervously. '- that is my daughter - the Princess Amanda - not one of the Royal...  _ladies._ '

Prince Sarek looked her over dismissively. Amanda squirmed. 'She will suffice. Have her sent to my chambers.'

Amanda was unable to keep from gasping in shock. Around them the dining hall was deathly silent, not even the clink of cutlery on plate disturbing the suddenly tomb-like atmosphere.

Her father blinked rapidly, his mouth opening and closing as he apparently struggled for words. Amanda screwed up her hands in her lap, feeling the metal and stones of her rings digging into her flesh, and waited with a thundering heart, praying this was just some new political game between the Empress's heir and her father. Retaliation for the betrayal of Prince Daniel and the so called 'corruption' of Prince Silek at the Terran Court was to be expected, but Daniel and Silek were both already dead on the Empress's order, her father shamed and Earth forced to pay exorbitant taxes and reparations to the Empire that they could ill-afford. Amanda prayed the Prince was merely offering idle insult over dinner by seeking to engage her services like a courtesan. She swallowed. Please let this be a warning she silently prayed.

'She… She is promised to another Prince Sarek.' her father managed in a fairly steady voice, but his face had paled with fear. '… and she is still a child – not yet a woman of the skills and grace you are deserving of.'

Amanda risked a tiny glance at the Prince and found him staring at her, his dark eyes somehow both cold and hot at the same time. She shuddered and quickly returned her gaze to her lap in fear.

'The Kirk child?' Prince Sarek scoffed in reference to her affianced, 'Prince Tiberius's boy?'

'The very same your highness.' her father agreed.

'He is even younger than she is he not?' The Prince inquired.

Her father licked his lips. 'He is… not yet 15 your highness.'

'He won't be needing a wife for a few more years then shall he? I shall see he receives a woman of 'skills and grace' instead of a whimpering Terran virgin.' Turning from the table Prince Sarek gave a short command in one of the higher dialects of Vulcan which were forbidden to non-V'tosh. Naturally all the humans present understood but artfully feigned ignorance. Two guards approached and flanked her chair. Amanda looked around the room in terror. Her heart was attempting to beat itself out of her ribcage and she couldn't seem to get any air, no matter how hard she breathed.

Her father and the Prince were still talking, but she could not make out the words. The guards took her by her shoulders and lifted her to her feet. 'Father?' she asked, forgetting her place and making the statement in English instead of the common Vulcan tongue of the Empire.

'Amanda, go with them.' her father responded in kind, his voice low and fearful.

In a daze, she nodded and let the two guards lead her out of the banqueting hall.


	2. Chapter 2

It was well after 2am when he finally retired to his bedchamber.

Amanda turned to regard him - a tall figure in dark robes, his hair a black line across his brow, the aggressive tilt of his slanted eyebrows and the points of his ears both thrilling and disturbing. She had always thought him handsome, the tall crown prince... in a cruel Vulcan way... all flashing eyes and fierceness. There was a cracking sense of power, of foreboding, around Prince Sarek and such strength had a strange allure. Or so it seemed in holos and watching him from afar.

In the flesh, standing a scant metre from her and with his attention focused upon her, he was actually completely terrifying. She stood frozen, afraid to breathe, like a rabbit cornered by a wolf, worried any sudden movement might result in him lunging for her. His dark eyes were filled with emotions alien to a human. It was impossible to gauge his mood.

He crossed to stand before her. She tried not to cringe away.

'You will undress me.' he instructed her coolly.

She hesitated only momentarily before shuffling forward to begin removing the layers of robes he wore. She was 17, hardly a child despite her father's claims, but she certainly felt like one before Sarek of Vulcan. He towered above her. She had to reach up quite high to unfasten his robes at his throat. She felt his eyes on her and her fingers shook but she ignored her fear. She knew what was to occur. There was nothing she could do to prevent it, all she could do was bear it with dignity. She cowered behind that thought, feigning calm. As soon as the first piece of cloth slid free of him however she floundered, unsure. 'Prince Sarek?' she asked timidly, clutching his hooded outer-robe in her hands.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she took the gesture for an invitation to continue. 'What shall I do with your clothing?'

'I  _imagine_  there is a closet of some sort in these rooms. You would be more familiar with them than I.' he replied.

Amanda blushed. 'Of course, you are correct your highness.' Blushing furiously she continued, focusing very hard on keeping her breathing even and her face placid, even if she felt moments away from crying or fainting. As she worked through the layers, she lay his discarded clothing neatly across a nearby chaise, ready to be put into the refresher. She was uncertain of the precise layout of the Prince's apartments, but she thought there was one in his dressing room.

Though she tried not to notice, pretended that she was an automaton unaffected by that which was going on around her, she was vividly aware of the alien heat of his body. His clothes were warmed from his skin and smelt sweetly of cologne and another scent she assumed to be  _Vulcan._  She had never been so near to one. Let alone a  _prince._ He looked down at her with his eyes half-lidded, his expression unfathomable, as she hesitated over the thin undergarment wrapped around his hips. To delay the inevitable she instead lifted the heavy pendant he wore. She had to stand on her toes to get it over his head even though he bent forward.

His mouth quirked and she had the sense he found her nervousness amusing. She clenched her jaw in anger.  _Amusing._  He found it amusing that she was fearful at the prospect of being used like a whore by him. She had done nothing wrong, but he intended to hurt her and shame her all the same. The pendant, a stylised Vulcan Raptor sigil, dug into the flesh of her palm as she clenched her fist around it. She turned and slapped it down upon a nearby table, the chain rattling against the marble top. She did not look at his face when turned back to him. To further delay undressing him, Amanda lifted one of his hands in her own. He inhaled softly in surprise. She ignored the noise and began carefully removing the large rings he wore. He stepped slightly closer, half a step, but Amanda did not react. She was mid-way through his second hand when he spoke, his voice a low rumble near her ear that made her skin prickle. 'Perhaps you are not the graceless child your father believes you to be Reldai.'

Her eyes flickered up to his automatically. 'Prince Sarek?' she asked in confusion.

He smiled a slow smile that had little to do with amusement or comedy. Amanda's already nervous heart skipped and jumped anew. With his dark eyes locked on hers he lifted the hand she still held loosely in her own and pressed his palm against her own much smaller one.

For a second her confusion only grew and then she felt a stab of heat throb through her skin and race up her arm, into her chest and down to pulse between her legs. Her eyes widened and she gasped. The Prince smirked at her as his hand twisted and his fingers slid against hers in slow calculated movements. Sparks danced across her shaking fingers. His rings fell to the floor in a clatter as she struggled to remain on her feet.

She opened her mouth to apologise for her clumsiness but her head was heavy and her tongue strange in her mouth. 'Sorry…' she mumbled, again forgetting her place and speaking the ancient tongue of her forebears.

' _Eingelsu.'_  he remarked in a low tone of warning, his big hand suddenly gripping her wrist painfully.

Instantly fear washed over Amanda and with it some of her wits. 'Please forgive me!' she gasped. English, like all Terran languages, was forbidden. Humans were only to speak in the common Vulcan dialect - Imperial Standard.

'I will forgive your transgression on this one occasion.' he replied.

Amanda let out a relieved sigh. 'Thank you Prince Sarek.'

He hummed in vague response and she felt a hand slide up over her hip and along the curve of her back. She swallowed, her throat dry. In her fear and confusion she had almost managed to forget the reason she was in his rooms. It was not so much she feared the act itself, she was aware of the mechanics, but the circumstances… She had never dreamed of romance or love, her fiancée George Samuel Kirk - the eldest son of Prince Tiberius of the Terran Lunar Territories - was after all a stranger to her. She knew him to be a handsome boy from holos she'd seen of him - golden hair and blue eyes - but otherwise knew little of him. Therefore she'd not pined any hopes on romance, but George Samuel Kirk was at least  _human_ , and her father had said he would come and stay at Court next year, so they might get acquainted… She had been quite pleased with her prospects.

Ironically, she probably knew more about the Vulcan standing before her than her fiancée. Like all good little citizens of the Empire, she knew all about their beloved Empress T'Pau and the most honourable House of S'chn T'gai, the noble heirs of Surak the Great, the founder of the Vulcan Empire. Sarek was the elder of the Empress's two sons. In human terms he was 52 years old, which for one of his race was considered young adulthood.

Amanda let her eyes flick over him quickly. He certainly did not look to be only a year younger than her father. If she'd had to hazard a guess she would have put him in his late twenties or early thirties. He had the common looks of Vulcan - tall and leanly muscled, his hair and eyes dark brown and his skin a golden olive tone tinged green in places with his coppery blood. There was a scar – a phaser burn, along the left side of his ribs. She wondered that he had not had it removed… Perhaps he liked it? Vulcans were known for their violent passions and pleasures. Perhaps Sarek was one of those who liked pain.

He certainly had no fear of violence. His reputation was that of a man not to be trifled with. When the Andorians had attempted to rebel Prince Sarek had overseen the razing of Andoria at the tender age of 22, a mere  _child_  by Vulcan standards. Over the next few decades he'd seen the Cardassians pushed back to the edges of Imperial space and even the Klingons cowered in fear of the Vulcan Imperial Confederacy. And more recently of course, it was said that it had been Sarek himself who had welded the ahn'vahr that took his traitorous brother's head when the rebel fleet was routed at Rigel VII.

Amanda felt a muted despair at the thought of Prince Silek. He had been her brother's closest friend, and his tall Vulcan companion featured prominently in many of her memories of him. Silek, though undoubtedly proud and haughty, had treated her family with a courtesy that had made it easy for Amanda to believe all the propaganda about the Empire. She'd honestly imagined the Empress to be a wise and kindly figure, benevolently overseeing the people of the Empire and protecting them from Klingons and Cardassians and worse. It was only over the last 8 months she'd been awoken to reality, of her people's true situation.

Humanity was a conquered race of slaves and vassals, scrapping and toiling for their Vulcan overlords. Terrans lived in poverty on replicated nutrient packs whilst the bounty of their lush homeworld was shipped off around the Empire. Terra's resources – her metals and ores - were used in the construction of Imperial ships and arms. Great swathes of Earth had been stripped bare by the mining. Filthy slaves - Human, Orion and Andorian for the most part - lived and died in the darkness operating the machinery. Daniel had shown her the footage, taken her to see some of them.

The Prince drew her back to reality. 'Odd thoughts for the bedroom, though perhaps fitting for a Terran maid about to be despoiled by a Vulcan Prince.' Again he sounded amused. It irritated Amanda. 'Though I would prefer it if your thoughts went in a different direction.'

She dared to meet his eyes. The morbid direction of her thoughts had left her angry. 'What would you prefer I thought on?' she asked waspishly.

He smirked and trailed hot fingers along the line of her cheek. She shivered and twisted under his touch. 'Why  _me_ of course.' he purred.

'Think on you?' she narrowed her eyes. 'You wish to bed me crying and cringing then?'

An eyebrow raised but he did not seem in the least angered by her comment. 'Most would not find the prospect of bedding me so disturbing.'

Perhaps it was the strange tingling heat emanating from his fingers, but Amanda felt braver, more powerful held in the bare arms of a man who could easily crush the life from her, than she had in many months. Her words were unguarded, honest in a way a Princess's should never be. 'You are indeed very handsome Prince Sarek, but you did not lure me here with your charm and wit. You had two of your guards drag me here. This is not some lover's game.' she paused. 'I am certainly not here for  _pleasure_.'

Fingers slid into her hair, catching and tugging at the pins and clips therein. The Prince used the hold to tilt her head back so she stared directly at him. 'You think you are in my bedchamber for reasons other than pleasure?' he asked smiling coldly. 'You are a  _strange_  little human.'

She swallowed. 'I am here as punishment. You seek to shame and injure my father through me.'

'Perhaps that is merely a happy coincidence Princess.' he replied lightly. There was a tug at her waist and the belt that held her robes fell to the floor with a muffled thud. Amanda ignored it and focused on their conversation so she didn't have to accept what was happening.

'Unlikely. It is unseemly for a Prince to choose a human to share his bed when there were Vulcan woman available.'

'Perhaps I grow weary of bedding distant cousins.' he remarked idly. Warm hand slid over her shoulders and down her biceps, pushing her outer-robe down off her body. 'Of their bickering and whining and attempts to curry favour with me.' The heavy robe pooled around her ankles leaving Amanda clad only in her slip. She shivered despite the warmth of the room. 'Perhaps I wished for a woman who would simply do as she was told.'

'If that were true you would have selected one of my father's women. He had courtesans from nine systems.' He gripped her hip and pulled her closer. The heat of him burnt though the thin material of her slip. 'Though now I think upon it, it was a  _human_  girl that your brother was enamoured of.'

The grip on her hip dug in painfully. 'What know you of my brother?' For the first time the Prince sounded angry. Amanda found she didn't care.

'Very little I imagine, but I do know that he was so obsessed with Saskia that father had her set aside for his personal use. Even when Silek was not at Court she was kept in his rooms.'

Seeing she had hit a nerve, Amanda found she could not resist the urge to prod. She knew it was unwise to provoke him, but she could not help it. It was some age old instinct - she knew she was doomed and she wished to lash out, to hurt the Prince as much as she could while she had the chance. 'She was very beautiful, a tiny girl with golden hair and green eyes. Very  _human._ As far from a dark-eyed Vulcan woman as you could get.' She smirked. 'If your tastes run in the same vein as your dead brother's I'm sure father could find some blonde whore to cater to your whims.'

Amanda felt a shock of impact that knocked the wind out of her and heard a loud tearing noise. Abruptly she found herself sprawled across the bed, her legs at an awkward angle and her arm stinging from where it had hit the headboard. Her skin prickled in the night air and she was suddenly aware that she was naked. Prince Sarek held the remains of her silken slip. As she watched he let the cloth fall to the ground.

She pushed herself up on her elbows and tried to sit up, at the same time attempting to turn and shield as much of her body from him as possible. A big hand wrapped around her leg just above her knee and squeezed. She froze and met Prince Sarek's eyes.

'You seek to anger me. That is not wise.' he said in a low warning tone.

Now was the time to capitulate Amanda realised, but she was feeling a drunken sort of recklessness. A part of her wanted to antagonise Sarek, wanted to just get the worst over and done with. 'I would offer you Saskia, but father had to have her executed, what with the rumours and all.' she continued.

Sarek's eyes narrowed and he climbed on top of the bed, kneeling over her. 'I care nothing for my brother's whores.' he spat.

'Really? I assumed that was why the Empress sent you. To make sure those rumours were as dead as Saskia.'

'I am here to ensure the security of Terra. To weed out further insubordination.'

Amanda felt a surge of victory. 'The real reason I am in your bed.'

Sarek crawled forward until his face was level with her own. Amanda's heart was beating at a nauseating tattoo, her breath coming in pants and a dizzy feeling was filling her body. 'Ah. So this is the point to your argumentative conversation. Do you wish for me to hurt you?' He trailed a hand along her side, his fingers digging into her ribs. 'Is that why you reject my kindness?'

Amanda glared at him and tried to ignore the response of her anxious, confused body to the warm caress of his touch. 'Kindness? What kindness?'

He leant forward until his face was beside her own, his mouth near her ear. Amanda stared up at the painted ceiling, (another Terran antique, torn from some long dead king's palace or some pagan church). His fingers slid down to her hip and began massaging her flesh in soft circles. She felt his breath, hot and strange, against the skin of her neck and shoulder and then she heard him inhale deeply and she knew that he was smelling her. The action both repulsed and aroused her. A stupid female part of her wanted him to find her appealing, for her scent to please him. The rest of her wanted him to choke.

'The kindness of a charade.' He pressed a soft kiss below her earlobe and Amanda shivered. 'Your father has these rooms monitored, even now he is watching I would imagine.' His words chilled her inside and if her entire body hadn't been shaking she would have frozen. 'You may serve my purpose in one of two ways Princess Amanda of Terra.' He rubbed his face against her neck, the slight stubble of his face prickling her skin and making her muscles twitch and seize.

'Either you will submit to me and I will show you exactly how pleasing a Vulcan lover can be… and your proud father will learn his place watching you moan and pant for me -' his words flustered Amanda in a mix of arousal and anger. She shoved at him, pushing at his broad shoulders and bucking her hips. He made a disturbing growling noise and retaliated in a way she had not anticipated. He grabbed at her thigh in a bruising grip and pulling it high against his hip proceeded to pin her to the mattress by pressing his pelvis roughly against hers.

Amanda yelled as the hard length of him was suddenly ground against the soft folds between her thighs. The sensation was shocking. Horrifying and compelling at the same time. He had removed his undergarments some time in between tossing her to the bed and climbing atop her. She felt the smooth bare skin of his hip against her thighs and the burning heat of his erection between them. Her mind catalogued the sensations and came to the conclusion that she was confused, very scared, morbidly curious and a little bit turned on. Before she could think more on what she was feeling those emotions were completely overwhelmed by a shock of pain in her shoulder.

She let out a strangled scream as Sarek bit her roughly, his teeth sinking into the soft meat at the top of her shoulder. Her body twisted and thrashed beneath him, hands slapping and shoving, her legs bending and trying to push him off her, but he was immobile as a figure carved from rock. Too strong. In response he shoved her thigh down wide towards the mattress and shifted his hips. Her body opened for him and she felt the blunt shape of him at her entrance. Instantly she froze, fear drowning out her anger and panic. The burning pain in her shoulder receded as the Prince lifted his head.

'Or' Prince Sarek continued mildly as if she had not interrupted him, 'I will have you bloody and screaming and you father will be taught his place rather more crudely.'

Amanda looked up at him with hot tears stinging in her eyes. Her shoulder throbbed. She did not know what she felt. She was angry, furious, but not just at him. At her father, at her brother, and stupid Prince Silek and cruel Empress T'Pau. At the world and universe in general. That angry part of her wanted to fight him, wanted to make him kill her so she would have the satisfaction of knowing he'd not made a whore, a  _slave_  of her. But the rest of her, the most of her, was… afraid.

'A choice then?' she asked him bitterly. She could feel him hard and insistent,  _threatening_  where he pressed against her.

'Yes Princess.' His hips shifted and for a moment it did not feel threatening so much as tempting.

'A Princess doesn't get to make choices.' she replied, her throat thick with tears.

He gave her a look that was almost kind, almost pitying. 'Often times, neither do Princes.'

She felt nothing but rage at his softness. She hated him for trying to commiserate with her. What did the Prince of Vulcan know of hopelessness?

'More than you realise little human.' he said.

She blinked up at him. Vulcan mind lords… No one knew the exact truth of their powers and she'd never witnessed them before. He'd casually read her thoughts twice now however. He smirked at her, the cockiness of early returning slightly.

'I could make you like it, make this seem like a pleasant daydream little Princess.' he crooned, his fingers trailing over her face.

It was almost tempting, terrifying as the offer was. If he… hypnotised her, she'd not have to worry anymore… maybe she'd wake up and it would be over without the humiliation of the act itself. But, no. Her resolve was suddenly complete. She would not resist him, but she would not make it easier for him, she would retain what little dignity she had. Taking a deep breath she bent her legs so his body fit against her's more easily. 'No.' she replied, struggling to keep her voice steady. 'I will not fight you, but I will not pretend this is something it is not.'

The Prince tilted his head and regarded her intently. 'Very well Princess of Terra.' His eyes bored into hers as his body moved with sudden intent. He braced himself on a hand beside her head while the other tilted her hips and pressed himself slowly into her. For a moment it was a slow painful drag, and then he sunk a little into her and instead of dry friction there was wet heat. Amanda tensed beneath him, knowing that soon she would feel the pain women spoke of.

The Prince surprised her. Instead of pressing forward, he withdrew, Amanda met his eyes in confusion for a moment, but then he was moving into her again. She held her breath but his movements stilled once more. He repeated the action twice more and her confusion grew. 'What?' she asked breathlessly.

Instead of replying the Prince pressed her face to the side and began kissing and licking along the column of her neck. Amanda frowned up at the ceiling in confusion even as her body slowly warmed beneath him. The hand on her hip slid over the soft skin of her belly and parted the trimmed hair of her sex to gently explore the sensitive folds above where his body joined with hers. He withdrew from her entirely and slid a long hot finger deep inside her. Amanda gasped at the sensation, he felt so warm inside her. He lathed the skin of her neck with his tongue then sucked upon her as his hand rocked against her.

Guilty pleasure spiralled through her. Amanda bit her lip and tried to push the feelings back, but his touch was insistent and she found herself wishing for something _more._  As if hearing her thoughts – and there was a good chance he was – his finger slid up to press wetly against the little bundle of nerves nestled atop her entrance.

She was unable to silence the little surprised moan of pleasure that the feeling of his finger, wet with her arousal and sliding over her flesh, evoked in her. He was against her again, hard and hot and tempting. He slipped inside her easily, the head of him tightly encased in her throbbing flesh. The fingers on her rubbed and pressed with increasing speed and pressure. Amanda's legs fell open wider and her back arched. Sarek sunk a little deeper inside her at the movement. He groaned softly and his voice was a low alien drawl near her ear. 'Yeessss.'

The lust apparent in his tone made her shudder and a feeling of light headedness overcame her. She raised her hips in a tentative motion. The fingers on her circled and rubbed in a way that made low keening noises gurgle in her throat. She felt something, he'd done something to her and now she was on the precipice of whatever was to come. She wanted him, was  _impatient_  for him to dishonour her. To take what should be her betrothed.

'Yes little Princess,' he crooned, 'I will make it good for you…' And then he was kissing her, his tongue delving deeply into her mouth, hot and tingly and moving in tandem with his erection and his fingers to leave her entirely witless. She shoved a hand into his hair - it was far softer than she expected - and moaned into his mouth. This then, must be lust. Desire. The reason her father and her brother kept their courtesans and paramours.

Prince Sarek withdrew from her, raising his head to look down upon her. Amanda lay beneath him panting and dishevelled. She stared up at him in lust-addled daze. With his eyes still locked on hers and his fingers working against her, he lowered his head and traced the outline of her left nipple with his tongue. Amanda whimpered and twisted until he lowered his head and drew the pink nub into his mouth. The heat of his mouth and the pull as he sucked upon her flesh made it impossible to keep her eyes open. She made little circular movements with her hips wanting to feel more of everything.

Sarek released her nipple with a wet smack and trailed his tongue wetly up between her breasts, his teeth scraping against her skin in a way that made her shudder. He kissed her roughly for a moment and then withdrew once more to look at her. She could feel him inside her, pressing against what must be her hymen. His fingers were moving roughly against her, sliding wetly back and forth and making her moan. 'Come for me little Terran Princess,' he muttered, his eyes dark and mad, 'come on my fingers before I make you come on my lok.'

Amanda whimpered, gasped, and then found herself clutching at him, her nails digging into his shoulder and scalp where she held him as her body clenched and pulsed in a maddening white hot wave of pleasure. Her legs wrapped around his hips, grinding her body against his and he growled low in her ear then plunged deeply into her - a burning stretch that was both agonising and magnificent.

The pain jarred her back to her wits to find herself panting into Sarek's skin, her face pressed against his shoulder. The heat of him pressed down on her,  _into_  her and she whined at the sensation. Her body was stretched and full and burnt in a throbbing pained ache. It hurt more than she had expected. She both longed for him to get off her and at the same time to never move.

His hips moved in a little circle against her and she was not sure if she enjoyed the movement or if it was too painful. She heard his voice from above. 'You are a virgin no longer little Princess.'

'Was that… not the point... to this little exercise Prince Sarek?' she replied vaguely, her thoughts foggy and strange.

He hummed in apparent amusement then turned his head and kissed her languidly. When he moved inside her, withdrawing and sheathing himself smoothly, it hurt her and she whimpered. Perhaps he still read her thoughts, because he shifted, adjusting the angle and manner of their joining until he discovered a motion which brought her a measure pleasure along with the discomfort. He stroked something deep inside her that bought her a strange tingling bolt of pleasure with every thrust that almost made the burning stretch of him bearable.

She was uncertain how long he… she was not sure of the correct word for what they were doing. They were certainly not 'making love', but nor was the gentle if insistent movement of him 'fucking' as she understood it. They had been... 'having sex', for some time before he spoke again. 'You will not find your pleasure in this instance without assistance little Princess.'

His voice was low and strained, his breath coming in pants. His movements were becoming faster, rougher. Her thighs ached and the pain between them was becoming more constant.

Amanda swallowed. She thought she knew what he was offering, some mind trick to make her feel again that intense pleasure she had experienced earlier. She did not want it.

'I… you have been kind already.' she replied softly, because it was true. For all that she had been coerced into this, he had been gentle and shown her more pleasure than she had any right to expect from the stories her maids and the ladies of the court had told her. 'Just... finish. Take your own… pleasure, Prince Sarek.' she continued awkwardly, blushing at her words in spite of what they were doing.

He buried his face against the crook of her neck and took a long breath through his nose.  _'I will hurt thee little terran princess.'_  he whispered almost sadly in a higher dialect of Vulcan she was not supposed to understand. Amanda found herself unexpectedly touched by the sentiment, though she knew she could not respond to it. Instead she brushed fingers through his hair and stroked the side of his face. He turned back towards her and she leant forward and kissed him, mimicking his movements from earlier, curling her tongue tentatively into the hot cavern of his mouth and sliding it against his own.

He groaned and his hips snapped forward roughly. The burning stretch was joined by another lesser pain, a dull hurt as he hit something deep inside her. Instead of pushing him away however, she lifted her hips to meet his next thrust. He made a low whining noise that reminded her of a cat and then he was taking her with rough hurried movements, burying himself deeply inside her and causing the bed to shift and shudder beneath them.

It hurt but Amanda felt no desire to tell him to stop. Some part of her liked it. Well, not  _liked_  it but responded to it on some level. She felt very female and very much wanted and desirable. Seeing the mighty Vulcan Prince Sarek growling and shuddering in pleasure and want of  _her_  made her feel powerful and she ignored the pain. He made a frustrated snarling noise and grabbed at her left thigh, dragging it up so that her calf rested against his shoulder and her body was bent in half beneath him.

Amanda blinked up at him in surprise from what seemed to her to be a very awkward position, but then he steadied her hips in a bruising grip and buried himself deeply within her in one powerful thrust. An odd strangled noise, perhaps of approval, perhaps of pain, escaped her and he grunted and gripped her roughly by the back of her neck. Obscene wet noises emanated from where his body roughly joined with hers and a part of her was embarrassed at the sound, but she was too overwhelmed with what she was feeling to give it much thought. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. It  _hurt._  The force with which he was taking her was making her wail in a mix of pain and some other primal animal feeling she didn't have a name for.

When she thought she could take no more, that she would fall into tears and beg him to stop, she tugged at his hair and managed to gasp his name. 'Sarek!'

His eyes found hers and he groaned and kissed her and then he pulsed deep inside her. She gasped into his mouth as she felt the heat of what she knew must be his seed spurting into her. His hips ground against hers for a moment and then he collapsed in a hot, panting,  _heavy_  mess of Vulcan.

Amanda twisted beneath him so she was more or less comfortable and stroked his hair absent-mindedly as she stared up at the painted ceiling once again. Her body ached but she felt no great injury. She was uncertain what she felt, she supposed she was in shock.

However she had imagined her evening ending, what had passed between herself and Prince Sarek of Vulcan was… shocking. Unbelievable. Disturbing.

'Surely 'pleasurable' would be a more honest assessment Princess Amanda.' Sarek remarked sleepily from the vicinity of her left ear.

'That was the shocking part Prince Sarek.' she replied honestly.


	3. Chapter 3

 

She was alone when she awoke. For a disconcerting few moments she did not know where she was or what had happened. It was very warm and she lay with only a thin sheet wrapped around her body – a body which ached in places that had never ached before. The dull pain brought the events of the previous evening back to her in a cool wave of dread and guilt.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to banish all thoughts of Prince Sarek from her mind. Calmed slightly by her denial, she sat up and regarded her surroundings. She was alone in the Prince's gaudy bedchamber, their clothes of the previous evening still piled across a chaise lounge and the floor respectively. Golden rings glittered from the plush carpets.

Gingerly owing to her aching muscles, she stood and retrieved her clothes. Her slip was ruined, torn in two. She ignored the puddle of silk where it lay on the floor and instead pulled on her robe. Belted closed it was apparent she wore nothing underneath, but she was adequately covered at least. It took her a moment to locate her left shoe - it had fallen under the bed. There were plenty of mirrors in the room and she crossed to the nearest – one framed with fat golden cherubs – and smoothed her hair. It was still half pinned and obviously slept on, but she had other more pressing concerns. She needed to use the bathroom and then she wanted to have a long shower, and then a bath, and possibly another shower. Then she wanted to cry a lot and drink too much wine.

She looked at her reflection for a moment. The face looking back at her did not seem any different to the girl she remembered from the day before. Amanda tilted her head from side to side. There was redness long the right hand side of her neck. From the Prince's stubble? She pressed a finger to her chin. There was a similar mark there... and to the left of the corner of her mouth. Even his kisses left marks on her skin. The bite he had given her was hot and sore on her shoulder, but hidden beneath her robe. Morbidly she slipped back the silk and looked it. The actual bite was not so bad, he had only just broken the skin, but there was an ugly red and purple bruise forming all around it. It was a vivid, ugly, mark upon her skin. She swallowed and shook slightly as memories played back in her head. She was uncertain which scared her more, the  _pain_ of him biting her, his threats or his subsequent...  _restraint_  when she'd submitted to him. Nausea rose in her stomach and for a moment she thought she might be sick all over the ugly carpet.

She managed to breathe through the sensation.

Two Vulcan guards barred her way when she opened the door to return to her own quarters.

'You are to remain.' the one on her left informed her.

Amanda gave him her most imperious glare. 'Am I?' she inquired. 'On whose authority?' She looked him up and down. ' _Yours?'_

'The Prince Sarek.' he replied evenly.

Amanda shifted uncomfortably. Now that she'd gotten up her bladder was quite persistent. 'And did the Prince Sarek specify that I was to remain unbathed, hungry and dressed in soiled robes?' she asked.

The guard blinked and exchanged a glance with his companion.

'Have my servants come tend to me in the Prince's chambers if I am to remain.' she ordered him.

He frowned but nodded his assent.

'I will be bathing.' she said and gestured towards the door she was fairly certain contained a bathroom.

The guards let her pass, crowding her. then followed her to the room. She gave them a pointed look before she shut it in their faces. 'My  _servants._ ' she reminded them.

Her maids arrived quite promptly, bringing clothing and everything else she would require. Her chief Handmaiden, Lady Winona, had even thought to bring a dermal regenerator to see to any injuries she might have. After Amanda had bathed she tutted softly under her breath and ran the device over the painful bite on her shoulder and the bruises on her hips and thighs. Winona was her cousin - her dead aunt's daughter - and had been one of her companions since she'd been a child. They were not friends exactly, Winona was employed by her father, but they were family and her attentions were of comfort to Amanda. Her other maids however, they looked at her out of the corners of their eyes, pitying and judging and whispering to each other and she was tempted to send them all away.

She heard nothing all day. Her father did not send for her, nor did the Prince send word. She wondered what gossip the Prince was spreading, what his purpose was in keeping her out of sight.

It was almost time for the evening meal when he finally returned to his chambers.

Amanda felt a curious mix of dread and anger at the sight of him.

He glanced at her ladies and gave her a look of extreme disapproval. She belt a little bolt of fear.

'Leave us!' she ordered them sharply. They stood and bowed to the Prince and then Amanda in turn before heading to the door with many meaningful glances and knowing smiles exchanged between them. One of them tittered behind her hand. Amanda pursed her lips and glared at the girl's back.

When the door closed behind the last of them the Prince frowned at her. 'I did not give you leave to entertain half the court in my rooms Princess.'

Amanda pouted. 'Your guards wouldn't let me return to my chambers. My servants hardly constitute 'half the court' and I was not  _entertaining_ them.'

'You need so many? Even Reldai T'Rea has fewer attendants, and  _she_ is Vulcan Princess.' Sarek replied.

At mention of the Prince's consort Amanda scoffed. 'Well  _I_  have the customary number of handmaidens for a  _Terran_  Princess.' she replied.

Sarek sent her a glare at her tone but was silent for a moment. 'You will accompany me to dinner.' he informed her shortly.

She pursed her lips. 'As what?'

The Prince raised an eyebrow.

Amanda crossed her arms. 'As your  _guest_? As your  _attendant_?' she flicked her eyes over him dismissively. 'Surely Prince Sarek of Vulcan would not bring his  _whore_ to the dinner table.' she raised an eyebrow right back at him. 'What would the noble Princess T'Rea think of such a thing?'

He glared at her openly. 'I begin to forget  _why_  I have been so lenient with you girl.'

She regarded him coldly. 'Why am I still here? You have proved your point - shamed my father - what purpose is served by keeping me here?'

The Prince did not deign to reply. 'You will attend dinner with me.' he repeated. He did not specify in what capacity. Amanda suspected she'd be made to stand at his shoulder like a servant. Or perhaps sit by his feet like a slave.

'May I at least return to my chambers to dress?' she asked sharply.

'Go.' he hissed at her turning and waving her away.

Amanda rose, pulling her skirts around her and dipped her head in a sarcastic excuse for a bow. 'You  _highness.'_  she intoned scathingly.

He sneered at her and barked an order at one of his guards in a dialect of Vulcan she pretended not to understand. She ignored the tall Vulcan who followed her through the palace just as she ignored the stares she received from everyone she passed.

Her servants were gossiping in her receiving chamber. She glared coolly at them as she entered and they fell silent. Only her cousin looked more relieved than curious to see her returned.

'I must dress for dinner.' she informed them.

* * *

Prince Sarek stood with his guards and attendants, glaring, when Amanda arrived at the banqueting hall.

She regarded him coolly. 'Your highness.' she offered politely, taking pleasure in his obvious irritation.

He crossed to stand too close to her. She restrained the urge to step backwards. 'You keep  _me_  waiting!?' he hissed.

Amanda inspected the manicure on her right hand. 'I would never presume that the Prince of Vulcan would  _wait_  upon me.' She offered him a cold smile. 'I had thought to find you already seated and enjoying the third course by now.'

Prince Sarek regarded her for a long moment before he turned to his attendant, a Vulcan S'haile in rich robes. 'Inform the king that his daughter and I will not be joining him for dinner.'

Amanda swallowed, her righteous anger coolly slightly. Perhaps she should have listened to Lady Winona and been punctual?

The S'haile glanced at her and smirked before bowing to the Prince.

Sarek turned back to her and took her arm in a painful grip. She winced before she could stop herself. He ignored her and dragged her away, his guards falling into step around them. Amanda was painfully aware of the eyes looking at them. 'Is this really necessary?' she hissed at the livid Vulcan trying to dislocate her shoulder.

'Silence!' he snapped.

Amanda glared at him but capitulated.

By the time they entered his apartments her arm was aching from his hold on her and she was slightly out of breath from the awkward jog she'd had to keep up to match his long strides.

The guards stopped in the outer chamber and Sarek pulled her into his bedroom. He let go of her abruptly and Amanda found herself sprawled on his bed yet again. She stared at him and tried very hard to make him burst into flame with the intensity of her hatred.

The Prince paced across the room, his robes billowing dramatically, his slanted eyebrows exaggerating the furrow of his frown. Amanda had an insane urge to laugh.

'You are  _infuriating!_ ' he roared at her, his rage almost absurd in its intensity.

Amanda bit her bottom lip. Clearly she had lost her grip on reality. She was antagonising the Prince of Vulcan, a man who answered only to the Empress herself. His mother. Suddenly she imagined the aged Empress T'Pau scolding Prince Sarek. Before she could get a hold of herself she'd giggled. The noise was loud and...  _insane_  in the silence of the room.

Sarek froze and regarded her in disbelief. The expression – shock – on a Vulcan's face was disconcerting. She snorted and covered her mouth with her hand.

'You find this  _amusing?'_  he asked lowly.

She shook her head desperately. She was afraid, but she felt unhinged. Her laughter was beyond her control and she gasped for breath and gave up, collapsing in loud giggles. She pressed her hands to her face so she would not have to look at him. The bed dipped and he climbed over her, straddling her hips and pinning her arms to the mattress. Desperately she tried to control herself, shook her head and choked, but she just laughed even harder.

Sarek no longer looked angry, just thoroughly confused. He raised an eyebrow and then released one of her hands and tilted her face from side to side, peering down at her intently. Again Amanda tried to calm herself, but she was hysterical.

'Are you drugged? Mentally incapacitated?' he inquired curiously.

'…I... I... don't know...' she managed to reply.

Frowning he dragged warm fingers along her cheek. Amanda's ribs were starting to ache from her laughter. Then she felt something, his fingers pressed firmly into the bone of her eye socket and a strange  _pushing_  sensation. She gasped and her mad laughter subsided into quiet chuckles as a sudden wave of warm sleepiness seeped into her. Her eyelids fluttered and she hummed drowsily. 'Your hand is so warm…' she murmured vaguely.

He was confused. She was a thoroughly confusing creature. Even more so than most humans he encountered. 'You're confus.. confusing… your-self.' she muttered in response. 'Don't know… what you want… what you're…. doing.'

She sighed and relaxed bonelessly back into the mattress.

She felt his hands on her robes, pulling her clothes from her body. His hands were warm and felt nice and she moaned and sighed when he touched her. When he kissed her she had trouble co-ordinating her lips and tongue but she tried anyway. Her hands were free so she touched him - his hair, the intriguing point of his ear, the warm skin of his shoulders and back. When he positioned himself between her thighs she felt no fear. It hurt but less than before and when he stiffened inside her she felt the heat of his pleasure pulse through the fingers pressed to her face. She felt hot tears rolling across her temples and realised she was crying. She frowned in confusion wondering why.

* * *

She was not alone when she awoke. It was dark and silent – the middle of the night and hot arms like iron bars were wrapped tightly around her.

Her stomach gurgled hungrily and her bladder was persistent in its need to be emptied. She struggled and eventually had to elbow the Prince in the ribs, quite hard, to get him to release her. He murmured something in grumpy Vulcan and rolled over huffing.

She wrapped her robe around herself. Guards stared at her coolly when she emerged into the outer chamber. She ignored them and made her way to the bathroom. It stung a little when she peed, though not as badly as it had the day before. She cleaned away the evidence of the Prince's attentions and tried to ignore what it meant. He'd used some sort of Vulcan mental power on her. She felt dirtier, guiltier, for what had passed between them than when he'd had her virginity. She'd at least agreed to that, had been given a choice in the manner of the act.

Returning to his bedchamber she found she could not make herself lie down beside him. Instead she curled up on the chaise lounge. She could not relax. She started awake repeatedly, staring into the dark room, listening for his breathing, sure he was awake and would seek her out...

* * *

She was not allowed to leave his chambers the following day. Two of her ladies were waiting on her when she awoke, Lady Winona and the oldest of her servants. The day dragged. She both dreaded and longed for night to come and bring the Prince. She felt as if she were living in some sort of half-world, waiting powerlessly for fate to find her. Winona did not ask her any questions, but sat very close beside her and held her hand.

He did not return to his rooms until late, well after dinner would have ended. Amanda and her maids had eaten in his chambers.

He dismissed her ladies and they did not wait for Amanda to confirm the direction, slinking silently from the room like well trained dogs with only little scared glances thrown back over their shoulders.

'I am to remain here for the duration of your visit Prince Sarek?' Amanda inquired in what she thought an admirably civil tone of voice.

'Or until I tire of you Princess.' he returned equally blandly. He shot her a dismissive look. 'I will be occupied this evening. You will retire.'

She rose and inclined her head politely.

Laying in the dark in his bed she heard him moving about the outer rooms, conversing with other Vulcans, deciding important imperial business no doubt. Who would die, who would live. Perhaps her father's fate. She did not have Vulcan ears however, and she could not listen in.

It took hours for her to fall asleep, her nerves anticipating his coming into the room at any moment, putting his hands on her face, his fingers hot and digging into her. Numbing her as he had the night before, taking away her choice…

Her worry was unfounded. It was almost noon when she awoke the next day and the guards were gone from the outer chamber. After washing and dressing she waited for an hour then hesitantly made her way back to her rooms. Her servants were awaiting her, apparently expectant of her return.

'The Prince is gone, called back to Vulcan by the Empress.' Lady Winona informed her with a smile.

Amanda felt a great surge of relief and a much smaller, very confusing, feeling of disappointment.

**END PART I**


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

**PART II**

It was not spoken of, at least, not within her earshot. Of course she was aware of the gossip that followed in her wake, of the morbid curiosity of the court, but Amanda had a lifetime's experience feigning calm and she was able to maintain a dignified façade. She ignored the looks and whispers, and over the weeks and months they faded.

She did not dare assume her shame would be forgotten, but there were new scandals to intrigue and amuse and the longer that passed the less she was reminded of it by some half-heard comment or hastily hushed conversation.

Amanda herself endeavoured to think not upon it. The complicated feelings of shame and anger the memories awoke in her left her frustrated and full of impotent energy. She spoke of Prince Sarek only twice in the months that followed his 'visit'. The first was in response to Lady Winona's comment that 'she was not like Saskia' made three weeks after the Prince's visit when that fact was proven to their mutual relief. It was a sentiment to which Amanda replied, 'Thank T'Priah for small mercies.' But no more was said on the subject.

The second occasion was again in conversation with Winona. She was stirred from a fitful dream of a of red mountains and a yellowish sky with a huge white sun that seemed to set the very air alight. She'd been climbing an endless staircase cut in the bare rock of a mountainside, a sheer drop to her right. Above the horizon were two huge stars, so bright they shone in the daytime and a great curving moon that filled a third of the sky and seemed like it would fall and crush her. The heat had stolen the breath from her and she'd been filled with foreboding. There was a temple… and within it the Seeress of Gol awaited. She feared her prophecies but was powerless to turn aside.

Amanda awoke panting and sweating just as she'd reached the huge dark doors to the Hall of Ancient Thought. Her cousin was staring down at her with wide eyes. Amanda had let her pull her into a hug, Winona's arms cool and soothing. Half asleep she'd recited the events of her dream, her memory of it already fading. It was not until Winona told her that she did not understand that she realised she had spoken not in Vulcan Standard or even English, but the formal dialect forbidden to humans.

'I dreamt I was the Prince.' she whispered quietly into her cousin's hair.

Winona held her tighter and made soothing circles on her back. 'It's okay Manda.' she said using her nickname from childhood, 'They'll stop soon. You'll forget all about him, you'll see.'

'Will George Kirk still want me?' Amanda whispered. 'Will anyone?'

'Hush. Everyone knows the truth of it, that you paid the price for Prince Daniel and Prince Silek's folly. George Kirk will think no less of you.' Winona reassured her.

Amanda sighed.

'In fact,' her cousin continued in a lighter tone, 'Some people are saying the Prince was moved by your beauty, that you are lovelier than any Vulcan woman. It's said Princess T'Rhea is  _jealous._ '

Amanda pulled back to look at her in disbelief. 'Surely no-one is so stupid to believe he… did what he did… for any reason other than to disgrace my father?'

Winona shrugged. 'You  _are_  very beautiful Princess. It's only to be expected people might assume Prince Sarek noticed as well.'

'I imagine that was of some comfort to him.' Amanda replied darkly. 'Heaven forbid he'd arrived and found the Reldai t'Terra  _homely._ '

Winona smiled weakly at the little jest.

* * *

 

She did not speak of the Prince again until her nineteenth birthday. In honour of the occasion she received many gifts. Her father gave her new gowns and gifted her with some of her mother's jewels. Her fiancée had her sent a puppy and a quite friendly sounding recorded holo message. She was particularly pleased with that gift and contacted George Kirk over subspace to thank him. It was the first time they had spoken since the incident, and she was pleased that he appeared not to blame her. If anything he seemed to pity her. She supposed she preferred such kindness to disgust or anger.

Amidst the other gifts delivered to her rooms from all and sundry, she received an elaborately carved box of  _sha'for_  wood. She'd opened it curiously, Vulcan handicrafts were the most valued in the Empire – she could not think who would send her something so lavish. When she'd opened the box she'd stared in shock. Inside was a full parure of heavy Vulcan jewellery.

Winona gasped. 'Are those… Vulcan pearls?' she asked in a low voice. Amanda's maids gathered around in interest.

In a daze she lifted out the symmetrical headdress from the middle of the box. It was the rich bronzy-toned gold favoured by Vulcans, set with  _lerash-khush_  that glittered as they hit the light and sure enough – large pearls. Pearls were the most precious of Vulcan jewels. It was a desert planet and the molluscs that produced them were very rare and difficult to harvest. Amanda peered closely at them in morbid fascination. She had never seen one in real life before. They were a different shade to those encountered on Terra and other planets – they had a golden lustre as opposed to a silver opalescence. She looked down at the box. There were long strands of them decorating the golden jewellery. A torc, a long necklace, cuffs, rings and hair ornaments. Hundreds of golden pearls. A priceless gift.

Her heart beat increased and her breath came uneasily. There was a thick scroll nestled in the box. She knew already what it would say.

She stood and crossed her room to stand at the window. Her maids were still all crowded around Winona and box in fascination. 'Read the scroll.' she instructed her cousin.

There was a noise of shuffling paper and then Winona called out softly. 'I cannot. It is not in a dialect I speak Princess.'

Amanda's hand clenched and the headdress dug into the soft skin of her palm. She raised her hand to look at it. Winona appeared beside her and gently prised the diadem from her hand, replacing it with the thick paper of the scroll.

She turned to her maids. 'Get out.' she instructed them.

Glances were exchanged but out they filed. All save Winona. Her cousin crossed to sit on a chaise on the opposite side of the room and picked up a PADD. Amanda deigned to ignore her, a part of her grateful she'd chosen to remain.

With shaking fingers she lifted the scroll.

Beautiful lines of curling calligraphy snaked down curled paper. She stretched it between her hands and read over it.

_Diminutive Princess belonging-to-Terra, these-items honour the birth belonging-to-you. Prince belonging-to Vulcan, S'chn T'gai Sarek belonging-to Clan Surak._

She stared at the glyphs denoting his name for a long time.

'What does he say?' Winona inquired at length. She too had guessed the sender.

Amanda blinked. 'Little Princess of Terra, these honour your birthday. Prince S'chn T'gai Sarek of Vulcan.' she translated.

'I didn't think Vulcan's celebrated birthdays?' Winona asked.

'Me neither' Amanda agreed vaguely. He'd had to get inventive to refer to it in the old Vulcan dialect he'd composed his message in. There wasn't a word for 'birthday' in it.

'What can he mean?' Winona wondered in a hushed voice. 'To give you such a gift…'

What indeed? It was too much. A gift suitable for a Vulcan Princess perhaps, certainly not a Human. There must be some hidden agenda.

'I don't know Winona.'

'You don't think…' her cousin began hesitantly. 'You don't think those rumours are  _true_ do you?' she asked breathlessly.

Amanda frowned. 'Which ones?'

Winona stood and crossed the room, her robes rustling as she crossed the carpets. 'That he's  _in love_  with you. That you bewitched him with your fragile human beauty.' she whispered in English.

Amanda almost smiled. 'I am  _certain_ that is not the case.' A thought occurred to her. 'Though perhaps he wishes for other's to think that.' But what purpose could that cause? Make people think he was sympathetic to non-Vulcan races like his brother had been? Distract his enemies? Draw them out of hiding?

Winona glanced at the box of glittering jewels. 'When people find out he's given you what looks like the best jewels in the Empress's vault, they're going to believe it.'

She did not wear the Prince's gift. Her maids had spread the rumour and it was known what she had received, but she would not play into the Prince's plans anymore than she had to. She did not show them off as he'd no doubt hoped she would.

She did however, pen him a thank you note in ink on paper. She went through an embarrassing amount of paper before she had a copy she was satisfied with. It was not as if she'd had much practice with her brush-strokes. Instead of using the Vulcan dialect he'd utilised however, she composed her short missive in ancient formal English calligraphy. She'd had to refer to banned books to get the elaborate letter-forms correct. It was vastly different from the modern English alphabet still secretly taught amidst her people.

When she had finished she admired her handiwork. The combination of sharp straight lines and elaborate swirls was just as beautiful as the Vulcan calligraphy Sarek had sent her, but unashamedly  _human._  She had no doubt he would find the script utterly alien. She had even arranged it traditionally so it ran left to right instead of top to bottom. There was a good chance he would have to research old Terran English before he could decipher it. She'd intentionally chosen the most archaic dialect she could find for this very reason. It was petty, but the idea of the Prince frowning in confusion at her mess of alien squiggles amused her. And little enough amused her these days.

_Honourable Prince of Vulcan - I offer thee mine most humble gratitude in thanks for thy gifte, but I fear such beauty be suited more to a grande Lady of Vulcan ere a small girl of Earthe. - Amanda._

She heard nothing in response from Sarek, and again she tried to dismiss him from her thoughts. Occasionally she had unsettling dreams, dream of planets, ships and people that were strange to her, but she had always been prone to odd dreams on occasion, all humans were.

She was quite unprepared therefore, when she finally encountered the Prince again almost a Terran year since she'd last seen him.

* * *

 

When the Captain informed her of yet  _another_ detour and delay, Amanda had finally had enough. The ship was taking her to Rigel VII to visit her father where he was currently overseeing a newly established human colony. The human presence was to manage the planet and the export it of its natural resources for the Empire. As favoured subjects of Vulcan, Terrans were preferred for such administrative tasks. There would of course, be a ruling council of Vulcans present naturally, but the day-to-day management would be left to the humans.

They had already made  _three_  detours and added 2 days journey onto the trip. Amanda was not amused. She queried the computer in her stateroom for the Captain's location and marched directly to confront him.

Her maids and guards trailed behind her and crew and passengers alike ducked out of her way. The rumours of Prince Sarek's 'fondness' for her had left her with a reputation as a woman to be feared or avoided. And of course gossiped scathingly about. Even Vulcans seemed somewhat wary of her.

She strode onto the shuttle deck and looked around for the Captain. He was standing with half a dozen others in the uniform of the Imperial Vulcan Fleet whom she vaguely recognised as his senior officers. Some of them at least. Without breaking stride, she sauntered across the deck to give him a piece of her mind.

He turned to look at her and she glared. Then the shuttle behind him cycled open and she faltered slightly, a sense of foreboding filling her. The Captain turned back towards the small ship and he and his officers, along with everyone else on the deck, Amanda noted with trepidation, straightened to attention. Two Imperial Guards in ceremonial armour disembarked, then four Imperial Security Agents in much more functional uniforms. Amanda froze. Three Vulcans S'hailes followed sedately.

Her heart stammered in her chest.

She felt a wave of panic even before he appeared.

Prince Sarek.

He was dressed far more plainly than when last she saw him in his Court robes, there was even a disruptor hung on his hip, but he still looked every inch the Crown Prince. Tall, handsome and proud.

As she'd half expected, his head turned unerringly towards her and his eyes caught hers. Amanda's breath froze in her lungs and she suddenly felt the ghostly sensation of his hot fingers digging into her face and his thoughts pressing into her mind.

He smiled darkly at her and her eyes widened in fear.

The S'hailes stopped and spoke to the Captain and his crew, but the Prince swept past them and headed directly for Amanda. He stopped right in front of her. Too close. She wanted to step backwards but her feet were glued to the deck.

'Reldai Amanda t'Terra…' He greeted her politely enough, but his eyes flicked over her body in a way that made her blush.

She took a breath and forced herself to bow her head in polite greeting. When she straightened he was so close they were almost touching. Before she could offer him a greeting he wrapped an arm around her hip, dragged quite roughly against his body, and kissed her.

Amanda flinched in shock, a startled gasp escaping her. The Prince took advantage of her surprise to spear his tongue into her mouth. On instinct Amanda curled a fist into the material of his tunic and sort of… held on. After what felt like an age but was probably only minutes, he pulled back and smirked at her. 'My little Terran Princess. Have you missed me?' he asked in apparent amusement.

Amanda stared up at him in absolute shock. When last they had spoken, apart from his strange gift and note, he'd been angry at her. Now he acted as if…

Her eyes narrowed.

Observing the change in her, his own expression darkened. The grip on her hip was suddenly painful, and the hand on her face slid around under her hair to curl threateningly around the back of her neck. She swallowed. 'Prince Sarek.' she offered neutrally.

He dipped down to whisper in her ear. 'A little more enthusiasm reldai.' he demanded coolly.

She managed to smile so that those nearby might think he was whispering something pleasing in her ear then she turned and hissed softly into his own. 'What game is this?'

He gave her a smile that seemed honestly pleased. 'Ahhh, so you see it is game at least. That is good. You need not know the particulars, just play along little Princess.' he said.

The hand on her hip slid up her back and he leant down again so that his lips almost brushed hers. 'Kiss me.' he ordered her. 'As if you have  _pined_ away for me all these long months.'

Amanda remained motionless in his arms for a moment. She did not wish to play along with whatever he was doing –

The grip on her neck was painful once more. He could snap it effortlessly she knew. She glared at him with all the pent up rage and frustration she felt for a second and then she stood on her toes and threw her arms around him, kissing him soundly and entirely un-Princessly, hoping to shock him at least if she had to humiliate herself all over again.

It didn't work. He wasn't shocked at all. Instead he pulled her up against him till her feet left the deck and roughly plundering her mouth with a hot insistent tongue. Amanda's head spun at the confusing effect it had upon her. She'd forgotten how  _warm_  he was. And the strange, alluring,  _alien,_  smell of him. One of her hands was buried in his hair and that was silken and familiar too. Thoughts she'd tried so hard to forget came flooding back. The heat and weight of his body above her, the wet trail of his tongue on her skin... She scraped her nails along his scalp and he groaned. The noise sent a jolt of intense desire snaking through her and suddenly she realised she wasn't pretending anymore. The shock had her pulling back from him gasping. She blinked down at him from her vantage point wrapped around his shoulders.

For a split second he looked as dazed as she felt and then that smouldering proud, very  _princely_  expression spread over his face once more.

She shifted in his hold. The deck was at least a foot below her dangling feet. The Prince ignored her obvious discomfort and turned to face the Captain with her still perched in his arms.

'No need to clear a stateroom for me Captain Supok.' he proclaimed. 'The Princess is happy to share.'

There were sniggers and laughs form the Vulcan and human crew alike. Amanda bit the inside of her mouth to stop herself from openly glaring at Sarek. Instead she smiled thinly. 'Could you put me down,  _ashal-reldor_? (darling-prince)' she asked in a sugary tone anyone acquainted with her would know to be utterly contrived.

Sarek ignored her faint sarcasm and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She forced herself not to bristle as the gesture. 'Of course  _Amanda-kam_.' he replied in a similarly false tone.

Her feet beneath her once more she gave him her brightest, fakest smile. He directed her to rest her hand upon his arm and then led her from the hanger. She clenched her jaw and tried to ignore the loud gossip that erupted as they left. She could taste him in her mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

The Prince's genial smile slipped off his face the moment they were inside her stateroom. He dismissed their assorted attendants with a curt command and all save the guards posted outside the doors retreated to their own quarters.

Amanda shivered and crossed the room to sit woodenly on a couch as far from him as she could. She didn't know what his intentions were. On the one hand she expected him to simply force her into his bed again, but on the other he seemed to be playing at something rather more complicated. She crossed her arms and regarded him warily.

He ignored her for a minute, pacing across the room, his dark brows furrowed in furious thought. Amanda told herself that he did not look attractive in his form-fitting tunic and tall boots. She eyed his disruptor and wondered how skilled he was with it. If Silek's marksmanship was anything to go by, he'd be quite formidable.

At length he turned to look at her. 'What are you doing here?' he asked abruptly.

Amanda resisted the urge to sarcastically reply that they were in  _her_ rooms and instead informed him 'I am enroute to Halkan to visit my father at the new colony.'

His frown, if possible, deepened. Again Amanda reminded herself that such anger was not an attractive quality, no matter how finely sculpted the face displaying it. 'You were not supposed to be here.' he remarked cryptically. 'Who sent you?'

'My father sent for me.' she said.

He cursed in what she thought was perhaps Klingon. 'You were not to be involved.' he muttered.

She raised an eyebrow. When he appeared unwilling to offer further comment, she cleared her throat. Dark eyes snapped to hers. She blushed at the depth of his regard. It was difficult to maintain her composure when this man… had…  _had_ her. Sarek had touched every inch of her naked body, made her gasp and moan and then spilt his seed inside her. Amanda's blush deepened at her visceral memories and she glanced around the room avoiding his gaze.

'Prince Sarek,' she began primly.

The dark look softened with that infuriating amusement he often directed at her. Like she was an amusing child. She ignored it.

'I'm uncertain as to your intentions with regards to our interactions, and I think it would be beneficial for us both if you provided me with at least some sort of explanation.' she said formally and quite reasonably she hoped.

He was silent for a moment and then he laughed shortly. The noise was jarring in the silence of the room. Amanda hunched slightly as he strode across the room and threw himself down on the couch beside her. He smiled at her and reclined indolently back against the armrest. 'Ah, humans.' he remarked fondly shaking his head. 'You are such a fascinating race.' He gestured at her with a large hand. She noted he was not wearing the myriad of rings they'd been encrusted in when last she'd seen him. 'You are perfectly aware I could do whatever I pleased to you, that you are alive more or less at my whim, and yet you sit there and try to have a nice rational discussion with me.' He gave her a sad pitying smile and reached out to stroke a curl of her hair with the backs of his fingers, 'As if I could be  _reasoned_  with.'

Amanda stared at him with wide eyes, her hands clutched at one another in her lap.

'What other choice do I have?' she replied in a quavering voice. 'As you say, I have no choice in the matter. I'd sooner accept what little control I might have over my fate.'

He smirked sardonically and tugged on her hair before releasing it and leaning back away from her. 'You mean what little control I might see fit to allow you.'

Amanda frowned at his tone. 'You make a jest of it, but I do not think you are cruel man. You will hurt me, kill me, if it is needed, but I do not think you would take particular pleasure in it.'

'Perhaps that is merely what I wish you to think.' he replied lightly.

'I cannot see why the Crown Prince would stoop to such levels to confuse a human girl.' she returned.

'Not just any human girl. The Princess of Terra. You will be Queen when your father dies.' Sarek reminded her.

Amanda snorted. 'A crown that means nothing.'

He shrugged. 'And yet you'd still have me reveal my plans to you.'

'Just the ones that involve me.' she said. 'I'm not asking for detailed explanations on the twisted machinations of an Imperial Prince.'

He huffed in amusement but otherwise offered no comment. Amanda sighed. 'I'm assuming that the rumours of our so-called 'affair' are beneficial to you in some way?' she hedged.

He made a dismissive gesture with one hand and then ran his eyes over her with exaggerated interest. 'Perhaps. You are known to be one of the loveliest women in the Empire after all.'

Amanda pursed her lips and ignored his comment, knowing he was attempting to goad her. 'Surely it would be worth your while to have me play along as I did today?'

Sarek leant towards her. She forced herself not to shrink back from him. 'You are think I am concerned by thoughts of defiance?' he asked.

She blinked. 'You could make me do what you want, I'm sure - but it would be easier and much more convincing if I simply agreed to act the simpering…' she struggled for the appropriate word, '- concubine.'

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. Amanda was reminded of a cat. She felt like a mouse. Rather than push her luck she simply waited to see if he would agree to her sentiment. 'I am cultivating a certain…  _reputation_  in order to further the Empire's agenda. Your co-operation could make certain aspects of that simpler.' he conceded.

Amanda felt an intense wave of relief. Her breath left her in a sudden whoosh and she felt almost light-headed. It  _was_ just politics. He wasn't going to drag her off to his bed or make her his mistress. He just wanted everyone to  _think_ that. He wouldn't press those warm fingers to her face and numb her thoughts. It was just for show. The Prince frowned and slid across the couch, curling a big hand around her bicep and another around her jaw and stared down at her intensely. She froze at his touch, her heart hammering.

'Are you unwell?' he inquired in a voice that might have been concerned or irritated.

The light-headedness increased exponentially at his extreme proximity. The scent of his cologne filled her nostrils and she forced herself to breathe through her mouth. Her eyes flicked down to his lips before she could stop herself. Noting her regard, those soft lips curled into a smirk and his eyes brightened with amusement again. Amanda cursed herself. And him. Why couldn't The Prince be old and ugly? His attractiveness was just another torment on top of everything else.

'Are you upset little Princess?' he asked lightly. 'Did you think me in love with you?'

She huffed and twisted in his grip but he was unmoved. 'No!' she hissed. 'Quite the opposite! I was overcome with relief that you  _weren't.'_

His brow furrowed but the small smile remained on his lips. 'Intriguing. You are telling the truth.' he remarked. 'And yet…' he leant closer until his nose bumped against her cheek and she felt his too-hot breath on her skin. 'You want to kiss me.' He sounded like he might laugh at her.

Amanda shoved at him, trying to put some space between them. She'd gone along with his kisses earlier, but alone in their stateroom there was no need for such displays. 'Stop it!' she hissed. 'Let go of me!'

He hummed a denial and pressed a kiss against her cheek just below her left eye then again slightly lower. His lips were soft and warm and made her skin tingle. He was too close to her. It occurred to her that she could headbutt him…

There was suddenly a hand wrapped around the base of her skull, the long fingers buried in her hair, twisting painfully. She made a little squeaking noise of surprise. Sarek's mouth was near her ear. 'That would be unwise. Vulcan's can become quite…  _ardent_ when provoked little reldai.'

'You are reading my thoughts.' she accused him in breathless anger.

He made an unrepentant tutting noise. 'You are projecting them very strongly.' he countered.

She went limp against him and started chanting in her head.  _Stop it stop it stop it._

He snorted in amusement.  _'Stop it stop it stop it…'_  he whispered back in English in a mocking sing-song voice and then pressed his mouth to the sensitive skin beneath her ear lobe, his tongue smoothing over her flesh in wet heat.

Amanda shivered and her internal chant faltered for a moment. The fingers in her hair were flexing slightly, almost caressing. Little confusing bolts of sensation were zapping through her everywhere they touched. 'What are you  _doing_?' she asked in confusion.

'I would have thought that obvious.' he replied flippantly, his breath warm on her neck.

'But…  _why?'_  He'd admitted his display in the hanger deck was for show… Why this?

The hand in her hair tugged and pulled her head back so the line of her throat was bared. Her eyelids fluttered and she fought to keep them open as he explored her skin with his mouth. The last time he had touched her, kissed in such a manner had been… She valiantly managed to sever the thought before it could reach its conclusion. 'Because you are lovely little Princess and you want me to.' he replied at length.

She groaned. 'I don't… don't  _want_  you to!' she insisted.

He straightened and looked at her. She blushed furiously. 'I know that what you want. I can feel it.' he proclaimed pressing his forehead to hers and then rolling his face against her. The feel of him so close to her, the heat of his skin against her was making her feel giddy. The hand at her hip released her and he took her hand in his.

There was a dry shock like static and then a wave of burning heat throbbed through her. She groaned and her eyes rolled back in head. He pulled at her hair and she let him tilt her head to the side so he could fit his mouth to hers. Her lips parted under his and again she found herself kissing him. Soft, hot kisses - his tongue twisting against hers, tasting her languidly. The tempting taste of him made her groan and momentarily forget her displeasure. The way he kissed made it difficult to think at all. Her thoughts slipped from her, she couldn't keep a grip of them. Warm fingers slid over hers, sending tingling bolts of desire shooting into her bloodstream. Instead of pulling from him she shifted closer and curled her free hand around his neck, returning his kisses. He was right, she did want him. She didn't  _like_ him, but she wanted him…

He pushed her back and then he was above her, pressing her into the couch. Of their own volution her legs wrapped around him and he insinuated himself between them. His kisses grew more heated, his tongue probing her mouth deeply, making her feel dizzy. The vague shape of his body pressed against her, but there were several layers of material between them and the sensation was dulled.

She groaned into his mouth as he roughly shoved her robes and skirts up around her hips until only her undergarments protected her modesty. Fingers dug into her backside as he lifted her to grind his body into the apex of her thighs. She gasped loudly as she felt the distinctive hardness of his member pressed firmly against her soft, heated body. The shock of it awoke her from her daze and her eyes snapped open. He repeated the motion and she heard him groan lowly.

'Wait… Stop it.' she gasped against his lips, tugging at his hair to try and get his attention.

He pulled his mouth from her's to look down at her, but did not stop the horrible  _(wonderful)_  roll of his hips against her. Her body felt hot and thick and strange and only her pride kept her from succumbing to desire entirely. From pulling his face back down and kissing him again.

'Stop thinking so much reldai. I want you, and you want me.' he told her.

'I… Just because you are…' she bit her lip as his body ground against her in a way that made sharp pleasure shoot up her spine, ' _attractive_  -' she continued, '- doesn't mean I want to sleep with you.'

He stilled his movements and looked down at her in a way that made Amanda even more nervous than she already was. 'You do not want to sleep with me?' he inquired in a deceptively mild and very sarcastic voice. His hand trailed down the side of her face leaving a trail of fire in its wake and she gasped in horror and flinched violently away from it.

'No! Not that! Please don't!' she begged before she could stop herself.

His head quirked to one side and the fingers froze.

Amanda gathered what was left of her courage 'I am… attracted to you,' she admitted, 'but I don't want to.' she looked over his shoulder, unwilling to meet his gaze. The rest of her words came out in a hurried rush. 'Please don't make me. I know you can. Can make me want it, can make me like it, but please don't… please don't do that again.'

She didn't understand the look he was giving her but his hand moved away from her face

'Little Terran.' he remarked almost fondly. 'Forgive me, I am not in the habit of bedding humans. I did not think the mind-touch would scare you so.'

She stared up at him in shock and relief at his… understanding tone.

'I will not touch your mind without your permission.' he continued.

Amanda swallowed thickly, not sure if she should trust him at his words. 'Thank you.' she whispered.

'But I want you.' he said, his hips pressing against her again. 'The rest of you I will touch as I please.'

Her eyes widened, she had thought he would stop, let her go.

' _I have dreamt of thee little princess.'_  he murmured in the formal dialect she was not supposed to understand. He shot her a smouldering look.  _'Hast thou dreamt of me?'_

She blinked and for some reason she could not quite explain, instead of feigning ignorance, she replied.  _'Yes. I have dreamt of thee.'_  she said, thinking of those dreams of red mountains and alien planets.  _'_ _Strange dreams.'_

He tugged at her robe, pulling it down off her shoulders and rubbing his face against her bared skin.  _'Vulcans do not dream.'_  He murmured thoughtfully into her skin. His shaved face rasped against her and the sensation made her shiver. He slid his hands around her hips and up her back before sitting up and pulling her with him to perch on his lap.

Amanda's skirts puddled around them in a twisted mess of silk, his erection a hard rod between them. The material of his trousers was rough against the delicate skin of her thighs. Her hands fluttered like restless birds from his shoulders, to his arms, to her sides and back again. She did not know what to do with them. A hand slid firmly up her thigh and she twitched and shuddered. He ducked his head and caught her lips with his own, sucking gently on her bottom lip. Mindlessly she mirrored the action, nibbling on his lip distractedly as his hand got closer to her underwear. She should tell him to stop. She should push him away again and tell him again she did not want this. She desired him, but that didn't mean -

Her brain short circuited as he cupped her sex firmly, the heat of his touch warm even though the damp cotton of her undergarments. In shock she flinched and bit down on his lip  _much_ harder than she'd meant to. He jerked away from her and glared at her.

Amanda stared in dismay. His tongue darted out and collected a smear of green blood. Her stomach dropped, she'd made him  _bleed._  She opened her mouth to beg forgiveness but before she could he kissed her. Roughly. Shoved his tongue down her throat and forced her mouth so wide her jaw ached. She could taste the coppery tang of his blood. He shifted, pulling at his pants and adjusting himself awkwardly and hurriedly beneath her. She had to wrap her arms around him to stop from falling from his lap. He pulled her closer and she felt the hot press of his member against her thigh and then he shifted his attention to her underwear, tearing at the cloth. In a matter of seconds there was nothing between them and she could feel him pressing into her.

A breath shuddered out of her as he parted her folds. Fingers dug into her hips, angling her, and then he thrust up inside her with a groan.

Amanda whimpered at the overwhelming sensation, digging her fingers into his shoulders to steady herself. He twisted beneath her, small grinding movements that pressed him deeper inside her. There was no pain, just a burning stretch and sense of satisfaction. A part of her wished it did hurt. She should not be enjoying this, she was engaged to George Kirk. She should not be with any man save him, the one who would be her husband.

Sarek grabbed her jaw and lifted her head so she faced him. He was glaring at her with an expression of furious jealously that both scared and thrilled her.

'No.' Sarek hissed. 'You are mine.'

To emphasis his point he began to move inside her.

Amanda shut her eyes and clutched at him, her mind in turmoil and her body in flame. 'Open your eyes.' he demanded, his fingers digging into her.

She sobbed but did as he asked, meeting his scowling face. He rocked against her, moving in deep slow thrusts that made her gasp and moan, his eyes darting over her face taking in every little reaction she could not hold inside. He felt so hot, like molten steel inside her and it seemed to go on forever. Driving her mad.

When she felt as if she could not take anymore, when her body fairly ached for completion, he finally relented and took her in quick firm stokes that made her whine and claw at him as her body wound itself tighter and tighter until she was consumed with that shuddering hot pleasure he'd shown her once before. It was different though, this time she felt her body clenched and pulse around  _his_  and then he stiffened and they were both shuddering and gasping and pulling at each other in mutual pleasure, her body milking every last drop of his heated seed from him. The intimacy of the sensation was both intoxicating and disturbing.

He collapsed backwards against the armrest, pulling her with him. Amanda lay limply slumped against him, their bodies still connected. Her thoughts re-ordered themselves as her breathing calmed and she felt a great surge of shame. Not only had she let the Prince dishonour her  _again_ she'd enjoyed it.

'Stop it.' Sarek muttered into her ear.

Amanda sniffed. 'If you don't like my thoughts stop snooping in them.' she returned.

'Stop thinking so loudly and pathetically.' he replied tersely.

'If you didn't want me to feel ashamed you should not have shamed me.' she mumbled dejectedly.

He groaned in apparent annoyance. 'You are not  _shamed_.'

She huffed in disbelief. 'Of course I am! Everyone on board is probably gossiping about what we're doing! What we just did!' she exclaimed.

'You agreed to play along. 'Simpering Concubine' I believe were your exact words.' he returned evenly.

'Yes exactly,  _play along_  I didn't say I'd actually  _be_  your concubine! Which is apparently what you seem to think I am!'

Sarek looked at her in confusion. 'You have said you are willing to let the entire Empire  _think_ you are my mistress -how is that less shameful then  _being_  my mistress?'

'I would know! That's how!' Amanda replied.

The Prince was silent for a long moment. 'I fail to see the difference. Or the point.'

'I am engaged to someone else. I dishonour not only myself, but him too.'

Sarek huffed. 'It is only that moon-boy. Tiberius' brat.'

'Not everyone can be the Prince of Vulcan.' she hissed.

He adjusted himself so he could met her eyes and glare at her. 'I don't understand why you are being so irrational. You have agreed to play at being my lover, and obviously we are attracted to one another, I see no reason not to take advantage of the situation.' He paused. 'Even if one day this is revealed to have been an agreement between us, I assure you, no one will think were  _chaste_  behind doors. Especially since it's already known as fact that I had your virginity.'

'I would have known.' Amanda insisted stubbornly. 'And George would have believed me.'

Sarek clenched his jaw. 'Do not speak to me of your _moon boy_.' he spat scathingly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit kinky... But Sarek's shameless. I was the victim here, forced to write this.

Amanda dissected her krei'la with more care than strictly necessary, cutting the soft biscuits into neat squares. She chewed and swallowed very intently, focused upon her breakfast absolutely. Winona sat with her, glancing up from her meal periodically, but remaining mercifully silent. Her cousin looked a little wilted – her blonde hair stuck to her forehead and her cheeks were rosy. Amanda imagined she looked much the same. The room was too warm. The environmental settings had been changed to Vulcan norms in deference to the Prince. She glared at her biscuits and tried not to think about him.

It was only after her krei'la had long gone cold and she'd sat prodding them with her fork for a good ten minutes that Winona saw fit to interrupt her introspection.

'We will be arriving at Halkan in a little under 2 hours Princess.' she remarked.

Amanda nodded glumly but she was actually quite relieved. When they arrived on the planet she'd be taken to her father's residence and removed from the Prince's immediate vicinity. Hopefully she'd see little of him during her stay. She sighed. He'd no doubt make obvious, staged, visits to her to maintain the illusion of their supposed torrid affair - which according to him wasn't actually so much an illusion as it was an  _actual_ affair - but hopefully he'd be busy with more legitimate concerns and they would not be lengthy or frequent.

Of course, as always seemed to be the case where Prince Sarek was involved, she was wrong.

When the ship arrived at Halkan and her guards tried to arrange a shuttle for her transfer to the surface, they were informed that Amanda's household would be remaining under the 'protection' of the Prince's for the foreseeable future. Her guards had been perfectly content with that, Sarek was the Crown Prince after all - in fact they seemed pleased. Evidently the Prince's security meant their duties to protect her were made much easier.

Amanda had been forced to smile and nod in agreement when all this was explained to her as she made her way to the Hanger deck. Winona had given her a reassuring arm squeeze, but everyone else seemed to think she'd be  _thrilled_  to be remaining at the Prince's side. Especially after their  _joyful_ reunion the day before.

Sarek himself had certainly not helped matters. He seemed to take delight in irritating her with his fake courtly attentiveness in front of an audience. He leered at her extravagantly, touched her constantly –her arms and the small of her back – and referred to her by condescending pet names. The Captain came to bid them farewell on the hanger deck and Sarek made some ridiculous comment - thanking him for delivering his precious little human into his care - and Amanda had to pretend to be touched by the sentiment when in reality she felt like gagging. Sarek led her to her seat on the shuttle and made a show of strapping her in personally. The way his fingers brushed against her wasn't for the benefit of their audience she suspected.

When they finally landed and she saw her father, he hesitated and hung back from giving her his customary hug and cheek kissing - undoubtedly because of the moody Vulcan Prince attached to her arm. The Terran King was obviously put out by Sarek's presence and the exchange of greetings was stilted and awkward. Amanda inwardly seethed at the Prince. She'd not seen her father in almost two months. She'd been looking forward to spending some time with him. Instead she got five minutes of awkward conversation under Sarek's watchful eye and then she was whisked away to the Prince's temporary residence.

Sarek escorted her to his apartments and then promptly ditched her to go off and do whatever overbearing Vulcan Princes did all day.

Amanda sighed and glanced dolefully around the room from where she lay upon a couch. They were in the grand residence of some poor native. Abandoned or seized. From what her father had told her, the humanoid natives of Halkan had been pacifists and as a result their complete surrender had been very quickly obtained by a few examples of orbital bombardment courtesy of the Imperial Fleet. The Vulcans hadn't destroyed facilities that would be of use them however, and as far as Amanda was aware they'd only levelled a few of the cites and left most of the planet untouched. Hence her, well, technically  _Sarek's,_  grand lodgings.

The décor of the room was that peculiar mix of the familiar and the alien that one encountered amidst other humanoid cultures. Since they all shared a similar bipedal build, furniture followed the same basic principles from Andoria to Vulcan and Halkan was no different. The tables, chairs and cupboards in the room were unremarkable. The Halkan colour palate left something to be desired however Amanda noted. They seemed overly fond of purple.

She continued her perusal. There were pictures on the walls, holographs of some sort. A few were carefully posed portraits of strangely garbed Halkans. They looked almost identical to humans. She wondered if the people in the images were all dead. She hoped for their sakes they'd already been so long before they ever heard of the Empire or saw a V'tosh. Unfortunately for them, their planet was home to rich _dah-pim-tukh_ (dilithium) deposits. It had only been a matter of time before Vulcans darkened their doorstep.

Although in a way humans were as much to blame for their fate as the Empire. It had been a human who'd invented the first dilithium powered warp drive after all - the accursed machine that had attracted Vulcan attention to Earth in the first place. The Vulcans had quickly developed the technology to replace their less stable singularity drives and the Imperial dependence upon dilithium was born and the fate of Halkan sealed.

She felt a strange nervous thrill run through her and turned to find Prince Sarek, returned from  _wherever_ standing in the doorway. In the intervening hours of his absence, she'd forgotten how tall he was. How irritatingly handsome… 'What are you thinking that has you frowning so little Princess?' he inquired lightly. She restrained the urge to take off one of her shoes and throw it at him.

'Just wondering if Zefram Cochrane is losing any sleep in the afterlife for dooming Halkan.' she replied, silently adding a comment to the effect that it was unfair Sarek was blessed with such looks and yet so lacking in personality.

'Deep thoughts for one so pretty.' he returned evenly as he crossed the room and perched on the opposite end of the couch.

Amanda eyed him warily. Winona was in the room, but she didn't entirely trust him not to try for a repeat of the last time she'd sat beside him on a couch. 'How was your tour of the Colony your Highness? Did you need to terrorise many primitive savages?' she asked in a sugary voice.

'Your father seems to have things in hand well enough.' he said. 'I felt no need to terrorise him.'

Winona coughed suddenly at the Prince's remark and then studiously ignored both he and Amanda, focusing upon her PADD with determination.

Amanda glared at him and tapped her foot against the floor in annoyance. 'I don't like that you dragged me here without asking.' she continued in a less sarcastic, more diplomatic voice. 'I wanted to spend time with my father.'

Sarek waved a hand. 'You will see much of him I am sure. In fact he is holding a banquet this evening which we will attend.'

'Let me guess - in your honour?' she drawled.

'Naturally.'

Amanda rolled her eyes at his conceited expression.

'You will wear the jewels I gave you.' he instructed her.

Winona looked up with a pale, worried expression on her face. Amanda however felt a little smug wave of satisfaction. 'I'm afraid that's impossible.' she said with false sincerity. 'I wouldn't  _dream_  of bringing such a valuable parure on a trip to a frontier mining colony.' She gave Sarek and sad little pout. 'They're locked up safe and sound back on Terra I'm afraid.'

He narrowed his eyes but smiled right back at her. 'How unfortunate. I suppose I will have to give you something else to wear.'

Amanda raised an eyebrow. She didn't think it likely he was travelling with anything as ridiculous as the Vulcan pearls he'd given her, but she still wasn't eager to be draped in his jewels like a courtesan. Especially in front of her father. Before she could query him however, he rose to his feet and gave her a sarcastic little bow that made her a little nervous.

'I will collect you at 19:00 hours.' he informed her.

She nodded distractedly and then he breezed out of the room without further comment.

Winona gave her a curious look. 'More jewellery?' she wondered.

Amanda shrugged.

* * *

Recalling the disastrous outcome the last time she'd kept Sarek waiting over dinner, Amanda made sure she was dressed and ready by 18:45. She then dismissed her other maids and sat with Winona, who would also be attending, and sipped at a glass of wine.

Sarek appeared at precisely 19:00. Amanda and Winona stood and offered polite greetings which he returned before stepping forward and taking her hand in his own. Amanda was able to stop herself from flinching at the warm shock of his hand closing around her fingers and instead gave looked at him suspiciously.

'Come, you cannot attend unadorned.' he said tugging her towards the bedroom.

She frowned at him but trailed along without complaint. She hadn't put on any jewellery because he said he'd give her something, but he wasn't holding a box of any sort. Maybe he had a small something in his robe? A pendant or something? She hoped so. Smaller jewels wouldn't garner as much attention. Though knowing Sarek it was probably a pendant that said 'Property of Sarek' in pretty Vulcan glyphs or something.

Winona shot her a confused glance before the door was shut between them. Sarek pulled her to face him and gently took hold of her jaw, tilting her head from side to side. His other hand lifted and he ran warm fingers up along the line of her neck and across her collarbones. Was he inspecting her neck? For what? a necklace? Amanda forced herself to remain still and ignored the little shocks of awareness his touch awoke in her. He continued in his odd scrutiny for a moment before turning her face to the side and bending to press his face against her skin.

Her confusion gave way instantly to trepidation, and annoyingly, what might have been anticipation. 'What…?' she asked eloquently.

'I gave you beautiful jewels, Princess of Terra, but you refuse to wear them.' he murmured into her ear.

Amanda blinked at the warning evident in the low tone of his voice. It appeared her comment earlier in the afternoon had annoyed him more than he'd let on. The feeling of trepidation bloomed into outright alarm. Blood rushed to her face and her heart started to accelerate.

'Priceless pearls from Vulcan, a set my own mother wore in her youth.' he continued, pressing his body closer to hers, the heat and…  _solidness_  of him both enticing and disturbing. Amanda's heart sunk at his words. They'd been  _T'Pau's?_  He'd given her jewels that had been the  _Empress's?_  Why? 'But the little Reldai t'Terra disdains of my gift.' he said. 'I'm told she has not worn them even once.'

'They're… they're so rare and beautiful.' she whispered placating, (and it was true, she hadn't kept them locked away because she thought them  _ugly),_  'I have nowhere to wear them.'

He hummed. 'It is no matter, I will give you something else to wear.' Something in the tone of his voice scared her and she tensed in his arms, trying to pull away from him so she could see his face. The grip on her jaw tightened and she stilled. He nuzzled against her, his warm lips brushing against the soft skin of her neck with each word. 'Something that will show everyone that you are mine.' He said, his voice pitched so low and deep that Amanda let out a little confused pleading noise at the sound of it as heat flared deep within her.

He'd barely touched her and she could feel that hot twinge between her thighs, that shameful hollow ache. Somehow she managed to remain motionless, hating how her body reacted to his soft touches and crude words. 'What did -' her question was cut off by a sudden and very torrid kiss.

She tried to close her mouth to him, to turn her face away, but he was having none of it. He gripped her face in his hands and squeezed her jaw muscles painfully until she relented and then plunged his tongue inside her mouth. The moan she made was not entirely of protest, but Amanda still beat at him uselessly with her fists for a few moments before giving up and letting him kiss her.

Perhaps she kissed him back. A little. And maybe she twisted her fingers through his thick silky hair – but only to try and dislodge him. She certainly didn't try and follow his lips when he pulled away from her. And there was  _no way_  she breathlessly panted his name when he kissed his way down the sensitive skin of her neck making her shiver and gasp and –

Scream.

The bastard had  _bitten_ her!

Not a little lovebite either. He'd bitten her hard. Very hard! He'd sunk his goddamned  _pointy_  Vulcan teeth into the delicate flesh of her neck and it was stinging and burning and - Amanda shrunk away from him, bringing up her arms and elbows to shove between them, but his hold on her was like steel and all she achieved was jarring his grip on her and his teeth pulled at her even more painfully. Her heart beat wildly in her chest in a mix of anger and indignation.

She slapped at his head and pulled on his hair, but that only seemed to encourage him. He made a low growling noise she'd only ever heard from him once or twice before – and he'd been naked at the time - twisted a hand in her hair and yanked at her head. With a sob she stopped fighting and went limp in his arms, her eyes screwed shut. After a moment he released her and the lustful expression his face confused her even more.

She'd assumed he was angry – was  _trying_ to hurt her. But he rolled his face against hers in a gesture that seemed to be more one of longing than annoyance. She realised he was panting softly. There were many layers of robes between them, but she was willing to bet he was hard. Her neck stung painfully. She whined and he shushed her almost tenderly, pressing little kisses to her face as he nuzzled her. After a minute he nudged her face to the side and bit her again, on the other side of her neck. Stupidly, it was still a shock to her. She stifled her scream a little faster than the first time however and was able to silence herself by grinding her teeth together.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, Sarek let go of her. Amanda pressed a palm to her wet tortured flesh and glared at him in anger and betrayal. Why would he do such a thing?  _Twice?_ Just to hurt her? She searched his face for answers but all she found was dark lust and a weird male pride. She slapped at him, wanting to wipe the smug look off his face.

He snatched her hands away, twisting her arms behind her back with bruising force and licked the welts he'd left on her skin. Amanda squirmed but the warmth of his tongue and saliva soothed the pain slightly, though the grip of his hands around her wrists was painfully tight. After he had thoroughly administered to her throbbing neck he turned her in his arms so her back was flush against him. Amanda sobbed as his erection nudged far more noticeably against her back.

His breath fanned over the damp skin of her neck coolly with the rapid rise and fall of his chest. There was a quiet rumble in her ear that she belatedly realised was coming from him. She had no illusions about what was about to happen. Sarek had demonstrated a distinct lack of self-control on several occasions and she doubted this would prove any different, not with him hard and panting. His voice was low and made her feel slightly dizzy.

'Get on your knees little princess.'

Amanda screwed up her face, glad he couldn't see her expression, and sunk unsteadily to the floor. A thousand thoughts raced through her head, none of them pleasant. Sarek curled a big hand over the crown of her head and tilted her backwards until she was leaning against his legs. She wobbled on her knees unsteadily with her back bent backwards and her face pointed up at him.

Her neck stung. She restrained the urge to touch it. A confusing mix of dread and nervous heat made her shake. She was forced to clutch at his robes to steady herself. His mouth twisted in a pleased smirk as he looked down at her kneeling at his feet. He dragged fingers up along the line of her jaw and traced her bottom lip.

'My little Terran Princess.' he murmured not quite affectionately, slipping fingers into her mouth. 'So lovely you look with my marks upon you.'

He probed her mouth with his digits and she frowned and swallowed awkwardly around them.

The muscles in his jaw flexed and his eyes narrowed slightly. She met his eyes and pressed her teeth gently into the skin above his knuckles, contemplating biting down hard in retaliation. His breath escaped him a little huff and she felt an absurd satisfaction in having affected him.

'Turn around.' he instructed her in a strained voice, pulling his fingers from her.

Amanda hesitated for only a moment before shuffling on her knees so she faced him. He wrapped a hand around the back of her head directed her attention to the bulge visible through his robes. It was obvious what his intent was. Amanda tried to decide if this was better or worse than sex.

Obviously she didn't have personal experience comparing the two acts, but she supposed pleasing him with her mouth was a… lesser offense against her betrothed then sleeping with him. Unbidden she thought of George Kirk as he'd looked when they'd last spoken briefly over subspace. She couldn't imagine him ever doing the things Sarek did to her…

The Vulcan in question growled and the hand on the back of her head violently yanked her back to look up at him. 'Do not think of him!' he hissed, his lips pulled up in a sneer.

Amanda nodded and remained meekly in place as he let his wide belt fall to the floor and tugged at the diagonal fastenings of his robe. With his usual lack of modesty Sarek let his robes fall to the side exposing his body to her. Biting her lip Amanda stole a nervous glance at the rigid member mere inches from her face. She'd never actually had opportunity to look at it properly and curiosity overtook her embarrassment.

It looked much as she had expected, similar to a human's save that blood had stained Sarek's olive skin a greenish tone instead of the pink or purple she knew from her maid's talk to be normal for a Terran. She darted up to meet Sarek's gaze. He was still glowering down at her darkly, angry that she had thought on – she managed to stop herself before she did it again.

Hoping that showing some willingness might bring the entire episode to a swifter and less humiliating ending, hopefully with no more  _biting,_ Amanda screwed up her courage and gently wrapped her right hand around the base of his penis. He inhaled sharply through his nostrils and Amanda looked up at him shyly through her eyelashes. The grip in her hair softened and he tugged her forward.

She had no real idea what she was doing, but whatever her faults no one had ever called Amanda Grayson a coward. Women all over the Empire did this all the time. It couldn't be that hard… She took a deep breath and began carefully exploring him with her lips and tongue. He was utterly shameless in providing critique and direction, and in a matter of minutes Amanda was quite certain of his preferences for the act.

She was uncertain of her own opinion.

The mechanics of it were uncomfortable – her jaw ached and it was awkward timing her breathing, but surprisingly inoffensive. Sarek did not particularly taste of anything, her overall impressions were of the heat and choking size of him. She was conflicted. On the one hand she felt… crass for performing such a crude act but on the other… even kneeling at Sarek's feet and letting him use her mouth in such a manner, she didn't feel particularly powerless or diminished. In fact quite the opposite.

The Prince was making fascinatingly  _Vulcan_  noises, rumbling groans and growls and his face was screwed up in a fierce scowl of pleasure. Amanda felt that same sense of… satisfaction she'd felt the first time he'd lain with her, when he'd lost himself in her body. Despite her position and what she was doing, she felt a sense of power over him.

He groaned and ran the backs of curled fingers up her face. Amanda gasped as they stroked over her temple, a pulse of strange hot pleasure twisting deep inside her and making her sex clench, but before she could analyse it his fingers were in her hair and the feeling faded. The Prince's hips snapped forward and Amanda had to fight not to choke or gag as he hit the back of her throat. He whined softly and thrust into her roughly. Amanda looked up to find him staring down at her. As his eyes met hers she held her breath and swallowed him as deeply as she could, her nose burying itself in the nest of dark pubic hair at his base and her chin bumping against his testes.

She felt him swell against her tongue and tasted something in the back of her throat. His eyes flashed and he hissed through his teeth. Abruptly he yanked himself from her, and Amanda yelped as strands of hot milky white semen splashed against her chin, neck and décolletage. She blinked in shock and stared at a strand of saliva stretching out from her lip to the head of his lok.

Sarek swayed on his feet, his eyes closed and his hand still clutched in her hair. When he released her she slumped backwards and braced herself on her arms. He blinked slowly and looked down at her with an odd, sleepy, yet still intense look. Amanda lifted a hand to her chin and pulled it away to look at the wetness on her fingertips in shock. He'd… she rubbed her fingers together and noted the odd slippery, soapy texture of his seed. Warm fingers on her brow jarred her from her introspection.

Sarek traced the curve of her left eyebrow and then ran his touch down over her cheek to drag through the hot moisture spread across her jaw. He gave her a smouldering look and pressed two long digits into her mouth. Amanda balked internally but in a daze accepted them. She could taste him. When she timidly sucked on his fingers he huffed out a breath in apparent approval.

After a minute he pulled her to her feet. She swayed unsteadily, her legs numb from kneeling for so long. Sarek smoothed a palm across her collarbone and up around her neck. Amanda shuddered at the odd sensation as his touch spread his still-warm seed over her skin like some sort of depraved lotion. The smell of it, whilst not particularly pungent was jarring and very distinct.

She swallowed, both disgusted and… uncomfortably flustered by his primitive behaviour.

He tucked a stray curl behind her ear. She wondered why he bothered, he must have completely ruined her hair over the course of the last few minutes. Her scalp stung a little where he'd tugged at it.

There was a knock on the door. 'Your highness?' Winona called vaguely and in obvious concern.

'A moment!' Amanda replied.

Reality reasserted itself and Amanda stepped backwards from the Prince, her cheeks flaming in a hot blush. Sarek calmly refastened his robe and bent to retrieve his belt and in a matter of seconds he looked as if nothing untoward at all had occurred between them. His hair was ruffled and his cheeks slightly flushed, but otherwise he looked as poised as always.

Amanda pulled at her own dishevelled robes and patted at her hair. The look Winona gave her when she stepped out of the room made her want to turn right around and shut the door behind her.

'Winona,' she said quietly. 'Help me dress for dinner.'

'You are dressed.' Sarek said before her cousin could agree.

Both Amanda and Winona turned to give him disbelieving looks. 'I need to change.' Amanda said slowly.

Sarek flicked a look over her from head to toe. 'No you do not.'

Rage swelled up inside her. 'You!' she hissed with acid, gesturing significantly at the drying  _mess_ he'd smeared her in.  _His_ mess. She glared but there was nothing more to say. There were no words for the likes of him.

'I told you I would provide you with something to wear.' he remarked. 'Do you not like it?'

Amanda blinked. 'You're…  _disgusting!'_  she wailed. 'I can't go out like this!'

Sarek crossed to stand before her and tugged at the elaborate outer robe she wore. Amanda twisted and flailed but he tore it off her shoulders to pile at her feet. Her gown beneath left her arms bare and she shivered slightly. He dug fingers into her left bicep and looked her over slowly. 'You will attended garbed thus.'

Amanda panted, her eyes wide and staring. She thought she might scream with how angry she was. The Prince had a look of smug amusement on his face. His hand slid down her arm to hang like a hot manacle around her wrist. She winced slightly and glanced down towards the pain. Blossoming red bruises encircled her wrists. Sarek did not look at all contrite. 'Bracelets.' he said. 'To match your necklace.'

A hot flush of shame washed over her but she was too angry to address it. 'I was wrong about you Prince of S'chn T'gai.' she hissed. 'You  _do_ enjoy hurting me. You're just another Vulcan sadist.'

His eyes narrowed and the grip on her wrist sent a sharp pain up her arm. She sneered as his response proved her point. 'Go on then,' she urged him, 'break it. A terran girl's arm would be like kindling to a Vulcan.'

His anger was a living thing between them. She didn't care.

'I have warned you not to provoke me reldai.' he warned her.

Winona saved her from doing just that. 'Prince Sarek sir?' she inquired meekly.

Both Amanda and the Prince turned towards her. The human girl wrung her hands and looked over their shoulders. 'S'hailes Vartok, Skol and Typek await you in the outer lounge. Shall I see them served refreshments?'

Sarek was silent for a long moment. 'No. We will depart presently.'

Winona bowed and backed out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written another chapter so expect an update soon.  
> xx


	7. Chapter 7

Sarek did not release her arm until she was sat beside him in the hall her of the Halkan palace her father had claimed as his base. She glanced around the room blindly, refusing to make eye-contact with anyone present. In her peripheral vision she saw the stares levelled at her and the way the diners turned to whisper to each other. For the most part they were middling human and Vulcan administrators assigned to the colony, but dotted around the table was the occasional S'haile or T'Sai on planet for reasons of their own. Money or politics. It was always one of the two.

Her humiliation was for their benefit no doubt.

Unable to resist, she met her father's eyes briefly. His eyes flicked over her and though he tried to conceal it, his anger and disgust were plan to her. The greeting he offered Sarek was polite but very cold and greatly at odds with how red his face was. Amanda gave him a small smile of reassurance even though it was she who really needed it. Her father could not offer her any comfort however, to oppose Prince Sarek would be suicide and would achieve nothing, perhaps only worsen her position.

Sarek himself acted as if nothing were out of the ordinary. He ate with relish, emptied his glass half a dozen times, and talked and laughed with his companions and those seated nearby. They discussed the bountiful resources of Halkan and the weakness of the native humanoids. The Vulcans present observed that the Halkans appeared inferior to Terrans - physically less resilient and technologically primitive. One of the S'hailes was sceptical that they would even be suitable for labour in the mines and there was talk of the cost of importing stronger Andorian or Orion slaves.

For her own part Amanda picked at her food and remained silent. She recalled well all that her brother had told her of the condition of humans enslaved throughout The Empire. Hearing talk of slavery – be it Halkan, Andorian or Orion - distressed her. It was only dumb luck, a random stroke of fate, that Emperor Solkar had whimsically spared her race the same fate. In another universe she would be sitting at Sarek's feet, not his side.

She frowned at the thought.

The arm which held her fork was marred with livid bruises he'd put there. Her neck throbbed in a hot sting in the places he'd bitten her. And worst of all was what he'd smeared over her, the dried evidence of his possessive depravity. She could smell it.  _Him._ His scent clung quite literally to her skin. The very idea of it made her feel slightly nauseous. She was certain others had noticed. The Vulcans with their heightened senses most certainly. Hopefully the humans present had not. She stabbed at her meal in vicious anger at Sarek's disgraceful treatment of her.

What was she if not some sort of slave? A pet?

The sooner the dinner was over and she could shower and lock herself somewhere far away from Sarek the better. The Vulcan Prince turned and regarded her suspiciously. She blushed and averted her gaze, afraid he'd been privy to her thoughts. Mercifully he made no comment.

In the lull between the fourth and fifth courses someone dared to approach her despite her shameful situation. She turned away, hoping they'd take the hint and back off. She was not in the mood for socialising. 'Princess Amanda?' inquired a young male voice.

Carefully keeping her face neutral Amanda turned in her seat to regard her guest.

A tall blonde-haired human youth stood before her. She'd never seen him in the flesh and he looked very different - but she was familiar with his blue eyes and handsome face from subspace calls.

Her stomach dropped in despair. George Kirk. Her fiancée. She could think of nothing worse than what was currently occurring.

'George!' she exclaimed in shock. Beside her Prince Sarek went utterly still. She felt an intense feeling of fear on behave of the human boy.

Her betrothed offered a weak smile. His eyes were darting from her ravaged neck to her bruised arms and back again. She wished in vain for her robe. 'Are you… well?' he asked awkwardly despite the obvious evidence to the contrary.

Amanda nodded and lied politely. 'I am quite well thank you sir.' She risked a glance in Sarek's direction. He was glaring at George Kirk in a way that made Amanda think her fear on his behalf well-founded.

'I have been on Halkan for several weeks now.' he continued quietly. 'I have looked forward to your visit.' Amanda wondered if George's presence was the reason her father had requested hers. He was no doubt cursing himself for inviting her now.

Sarek scoffed dismissively and George Kirk sent him a glare of transparent hatred. Amanda swallowed. George was young – only 16 – it occurred to her that he might be foolish enough to insult the Prince outright. She contemplated her throbbing neck and aching wrists. Sarek had thought nothing of hurting her and he seemed to actually be fond of her. Or he found her amusing at least. Who knew what he'd do to George whom he openly disliked?

'Perhaps you would join me for a walk before the next course Princess Amanda?' George asked.

Sarek half turned in his seat. 'She will not. Leave us boy.'

Her fiancée turned red in a mix of anger and embarrassment. Amanda averted her eyes and prayed he'd back off.

' _Reldai._ ' Sarek called upon her imperiously.

She met his eyes nervously.

He made a sharp gesture with his right hand indicating she should approach him. It hardly seemed necessary – she was sitting right next to him – but she obediently stood and shuffled closer, darting a warning glance at George as she did so.

Sarek took hold of her by the arm and hip and pulled her into his lap as if she were a child. She let out a surprised squeak and flailed a little before finding a relatively secure perch sideways across his thighs. She stared at the cloth of his robe and refused to look around the table. Her face felt like it would burst into flame with the heat of her embarrassment.

The Prince leant in close to whisper in her ear. 'Serve me little princess.'

She ground her teeth together in impotent anger and looked at George out of the corner of her eyes. He was standing awkwardly near her empty seat, an appalled expression on his face.

' _Do not look at him.'_  Sarek hissed, gripping her hip tightly.

Amanda swallowed and reached out with shaking hands to pick up the heavy glass of green k'vass on the table. Sarek made no effort to take the glass from her so instead she hesitantly pressed it to his mouth and offered him a sip. He stared at her as his lips closed over the rim of the glass. His adam's apple bobbed with each swallow. Amanda felt a warm flutter of heat at his look that she ignored.

'You have trained your Terran well Prince Sarek .' the S'haile seated opposite him called. 'Perhaps I should get one of my own.'

Sarek smirked. 'I have found Princess Amanda's company to be most… diverting.'

George Kirk turned sharply in disgust and strode away.

Amanda exhaled in relief. She had troubles enough without added worry for George to the mix.

A servant placed the fifth course before them. At Sarek's pointed look Amanda pursed her lips and spooned up some of the spicy pre tarmeeli. It steamed with heat so she blew on it before offering it to him. The look the Prince gave her made what should have been a completely innocent gesture feel like something else entirely. Amanda decided it would be best if she didn't make eye contact with him for the rest of the evening. Actually – if she didn't make eye contact with him  _ever_.

He seemed to enjoy having her wait upon him or perhaps it was her irritation and discomfort he enjoyed - but at any rate she had to spend the remainder of the lengthy meal sitting in his lap attending him. By the time the sixth course was served he appeared slightly inebriated from the potent green k'vass. He was caressing her hip and idly grinding his half-engorged lok against her backside. She was ignoring him as much as possible 'Are you not hungry little princess?' he murmured into her ear. 'You have barely eaten.'

'I lost my appetite.' she replied shortly.

'Shall I help you look for it?' he asked, his breath hot and ticklish.

Amanda huffed and ignored him.

'This is very good Amanda.' he informed her earnestly as she grudgingly fed him cake several courses later.

She raised an eyebrow. He seemed to be waiting for an answer. 'Is it?' she asked, not really caring one way or the other. He was mostly definitely drunk now. It seemed he was less smug when he was drunk. He hadn't made any mortifying comments for at least half an hour.

'Eat some.' he insisted, taking the little spindly fork from her hand and spearing a portion of the dark cake. He had slight difficultly co-ordinating his fingers however and nearly pushed the half-eaten slice of cake off the plate Amanda held. When he got a piece successfully aloft, he shot her a proud look of victory that far outweighed the achievement. He lifted it unsteadily towards her.

She sighed but leant forwards and took the morsel. It was very rich, the bitterness of the chocolate not entirely balanced with warm Vulcan spices. Sarek was watching her expectantly, awaiting her opinion. She nodded at him in vague approval.

He tilted his head to one side and regarded her blearily, blinking slowly. He raised a hand and wiped his thumb across the corner of her mouth before sucking the chocolate smeared pad between his lips. Amanda shifted a little at the unexpected pang of desire the action awoke in her. Sarek groaned softly as her wiggling unintentionally ground her ass against his crotch rather suggestively. She froze and blushed in embarrassment and anger. Encouragement was the last thing Sarek of Vulcan needed.

He leant down and spoke lowly into her ear. 'You taste even better little Princess.' Amanda swallowed thickly. 'I am tempted to sample you right now…' he gently bit her earlobe and flicked his tongue against her skin.

She was unable to entirely stifle her scandalised gasp. A S'haile seated across the table smirked at her. Amanda turned towards the Prince.  _'Sarek!'_  she implored. 'Not  _here_! Please!'

'Mmm.' He regarded her lazily. 'You would prefer we leave then? I am agreeable.'

Her eyes widened. 'What? No!'

But he was already rising to his feet, pulling Amanda up with him. 'My apologies!' he exclaimed to the room at large. Amanda stared down at her feet and tried to keep her discomfort off her face. 'My dear little Terran is eager to retire for the evening.' Her eyes darted up to Sarek's and her attempts to look unaffected failed utterly.

There was much snickering and laughter at his comment. Amanda tried to wish herself into another dimension but had to settle on another room. The journey back to Sarek's apartments took much longer than their trip earlier in the evening owing to the fact that he appeared to be rather more inebriated than Amanda had originally assumed. He tried repeatedly to press her against convenient walls, pillars and other flat surfaces to kiss her and she was only able to dodge his advances due to the superior agility afforded her by sobriety and the distraction provided by his guards.

When they finally arrived in his rooms, he promptly pulled her to him and kissed her soundly.

He tasted of k'vass and chocolate and Sarek. It was a distracting combination. For a moment Amanda gave in, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back, but then his hand stroked her neck and the flare of pain caused by the bite there brought her back to her senses. Sarek had hurt her and humiliated her several times over the course of the evening. He didn't deserve her kisses.

She pulled her mouth from his and he made a huffing noise of displeasure. She managed to twist out from under his arms and darted across the room. He stared at her as if surprised she'd moved so quickly. 'I need to bathe.' she informed him hastily by way of excuse.

'No you do not.' he replied with certainty. 'You smell magnificent.' He crossed the room towards her.

'I really must!' Amanda called as she dashed towards the bathroom and managed, incredibly, to get door closed with him on the other side. She stared at it shock, unsure what to do know she'd temporarily escaped him.

It shook as he banged upon it. 'Open this!' he demanded.

'Please Sarek - I'll only be a few minutes!' she called placatingly.

She was lying. She intended to take a very long bath and let the K'vass do its work and send the Prince to sleep. By the time she emerged he'd have passed out. She'd make sure of it.

The door rattled some more and he yelled indistinctly at her for a little while before apparently giving up. When it fell silent Amanda let out a relieved breath at her reprieve.

She ran herself a bath, brushing out her hair and removing her makeup while she waited for it to fill. She then scrubbed herself very thoroughly and lay in the warm water trying to forget the irate Vulcan Prince in the other room.

She must have dozed because she was jarred awake from a half-recalled dream involving George Kirk by a deafening crashing noise and sat up in the luke-warm water spluttering. She stared in disbelief as her brain woke up. The door was hanging lopsidedly off its hinges. Sarek was glaring at her and appeared winded. She put one and two together. He'd broken down the door.

'Sa- Sarek?' she asked tremulously, cowering back in the tub as if the water could protect her.

He strode across the room and pulled her up out of the water by the scruff of her neck. She scrambled to get her feet under her, water sloshing all over the floor. He dragged her into his arms and the absurdity of being crushed, nude and soaking wet, against an angry Vulcan Prince in elaborate robes made her brain rebel a little. Perhaps she was still dreaming. The rough wet kiss he gave her convinced her otherwise, but he kissed her for only a moment before pulling back to glare at her. Amanda, too shocked to respond or really understand what was occurring, just stared at him in muted horror.

'Stop thinking of him!' he spat.

She screwed up her face in dazed confusion. 'Wha- Who?' she asked vaguely.

Sarek sneered and bared his teeth. 'Your  _moon-boy_!' he hissed.

George? She hadn't been thinking about George… Sarek growled lowly and she gasped.

'You are not  _his._  You are  _mine!_ ' he insisted and then kissed her again.

Amanda whimpered in shock and fear but clung to him. He slanted his mouth over hers, shoving his tongue past her lips and probing her mouth demandingly. Her feet slid against the slippery tub, the squeaking noises echoing loudly in the small room. She grabbed at his broad shoulders, her fingers twisting in the cloth of his robe. Light stubble rasped against her chin and jaw as he kissed her frantically. Water sloughed off her and his robes were soon saturated. She was uncertain how long precisely had passed when he slid a hand down her back to grip her backside and then pulled her from the water, her feet dangling, and carried her through to the bedroom.

Amanda reflected with vague disapproval upon how wet the bedding was going to get – she'd washed her hair and hadn't even wrung it out… and then Sarek was on top of her, kissing and touching her as if he was trying to absorb her through his skin. Of its own accord her back arched into his touch, her body's desire already well stoked for him if not her mind's. He confused her so terribly. She wasn't sure what was the right thing to do anymore. He was her prince, one day would be her Emperor, to obey him was her duty… and she  _was_ attracted to him and he  _had_ been kind to her... But he'd also been absolutely  _deplorable_  to her and at any rate - why should she obey him just because he was the Prince? The Empire was foul. She didn't know what to think of Prince Sarek.

She winced when his fingers dragged over her tender neck and Sarek pulled back from her. He simply stared at the injury for a moment before he bent and pressed soft kiss to the marks. 'It pains me to have injured you.' he whispered against her skin, so softly she barely heard him.

Amanda blinked in surprise. He sounded sincere. How?  _How_  could he possibly mean that after all he'd done to her?

He lifted his head and rested his brow against her's. 'Can you forgive your jealous Prince for being so cruel?' he asked softly.

No. she silently answered. She couldn't. But she still sighed and tilted her face up towards his in acceptance, gingerly pressing a hand to his cheek. Instantly he softened against her, his body melting as all the tension drained out of him.

'Beautiful Amanda,' he whispered. 'my little Terran Princess.'

She didn't even try to understand.


	8. Chapter 8

The sheets were still damp the next morning and it took a good half an hour for two of her maids to untangle the mess that was her hair.

Winona was not in evidence. After confirming with her maids that nothing untoward had occurred, (her cousin was very beautiful and she was a little worried she might attract the notice of some lecherous Vulcan interested in emulating the Prince), she tactfully chose not to draw further attention to the fact.

To her joy her father appeared soon after she had eaten breakfast and offered to take her on a tour of the colony's newest facilities. Mining was no of particular interest to her, but she was eager to spend time with him so she agreed. She'd been worried Sarek's appalling behaviour would have kept her father from her out of shame. That he appeared to hold her entirely innocent of the humiliating affair was such a relief to her she had been forced to blink back happy tears.

They flew over vast new refineries and mines dotting the surface of the planet and then up to the distribution centre located on the largest of Halkan's two moons. Her father explained the colony's work to her in great detail – it was plain he was enthusiastic about the whole thing - and his excitement rubbed off onto Amanda a little.

She caught him glancing at her neck and the bruises marring her arms with some regularity but he did not ask after them. Neither of them mentioned Prince Sarek, both carefully maintained the illusion that all was well. He did make cryptic enquiries of George Kirk however, of her opinion of him and if she was pleased at his presence on Halkan. Amanda had responded honestly - that he was a tall handsome youth who seemed just as well-mannered as she'd thought him to be, but that she feared he might invoke the Prince's ire. Her father seemed satisfied with her assessment of the situation.

They had lunch on the moon base. Halkan's moon was not as large as Terra's, but was rich with various deposits of useful ores and owing to the Halkan's lack of technological development, its resources were untouched. The entire lunar facility was newly fabricated to Imperial standards unlike the buildings she'd seen on the surface. It appeared no expense had been spared. There was also a large Imperial Fleet presence. Amanda was surprised at the number of engineering crews and enlisted officers she observed in the base. There did not seem nearly enough ships present to warrant such numbers of personal.

'It seems a very large operation.' she remarked conversationally to her father over her pok tar.

Her father nodded. 'The largest dilithium deposits encountered in recent history. Enough to power a fleet a ten times the size of the Empire's for a century at least.'

Amanda raised her eyebrows in surprise.

'And not only that,' her father continued. 'Halkan has rich deposits of Tritanium and Duranium ore.' he said listing the two preferred metals used to create the durable alloys utilised in the construction of starships. That explained the fleet presence she supposed.

'Does the Empress intend to build a shipyard?' she enquired.

Her father nodded. 'That is the eventual intention. It makes little sense to transport the raw materials from Halkan to the Mars or Vulcan shipyards.'

She nodded at the logic of his statement. 'This seems… a favourable position father.' she remarked hesitantly. It was surprising he he had been given it considering the Empress's displeasure with her father over the rebellion - her displeasure with Terrans as a whole. The majority of the rebellion's fleet had been comprised of humans.

An expression she didn't quite understand crossed her father's face. 'Prince Sarek has seen fit to afford me the chance to redeem myself.'

Amanda frowned slightly. 'This is Sarek's doing?'

Her father nodded and Amanda realised the expression on his face was guilt. She looked down and stirred her pok tar with her spoon. It seemed suddenly very heavy in her stomach.

* * *

Amanda was left more or less to her own devices for several days. Sarek would appear at sporadically at all times of the day but he was distracted and his duties, whatever they were, (inspecting and overseeing the new colony? Spying on her father?), seemed to occupy him almost entirely – a situation Amanda was grateful for.

She was strolling through a Halkan garden with Winona and two guards when they unexpectedly came across George Kirk.

They exchanged greetings and he fell into step with them. Her cousin and George traded a loaded look and Amanda recalled that it had been Winona who'd suggested the stroll... She glanced between them. It seemed a little too convenient that they just happened to run into each other, she suspected Winona and George had arranged it. Perhaps that was where her cousin had been disappearing off to?

Amanda felt oddly nervous at being in George's company. She bade Winona walk between them. Even though Sarek was not in the palace, she had no doubt her every move was being monitored. It would not do for him to think she was flirting with George, (Even though as his fiancée, she had every right to), his jealousy had been well demonstrated. Her bruises had faded to ugly yellows and purples, but they were still there as a potent reminder. As for the bruises to her dignity, Amanda doubted those would ever fade.

' _Princess,'_  George whispered in English. Amanda shot him a warning look. Her guards feigned indifference but she knew both men spoke the language.  _'I would speak with you.'_

'Speak then, there are no secrets between us.' she replied tersely and pointedly in Imperial standard hoping anyone listening would take the hint that she had nothing to hide. Winona remained silent in between them, smiling and humming as if nothing out of the ordinary was occurring.

George nodded and continued in the same tongue. 'Your father had intended that our wedding take place here on Halkan.' he said.

Amanda swallowed nervously. 'I had suspected something along those lines. His invitation that I join him was unexpected and sudden.'

He nodded. 'The Prince…' he trailed off.

Amanda sighed. The Prince indeed.

'I had thought he had made no effort to see you since… his last  _visit_  to Earth?' he asked making very polite reference to the ugly commencement of her… 'affair' with Sarek.

Amanda blushed. 'He had not. This… renewal of his attentions has taken me much by surprise.' she admitted.

George nodded. 'Vulcans take bonds of marriage very seriously.' he said. That was true enough, divorce was a curse word to Vulcans. The only honourable way out of a marriage for a Vulcan was death. 'If we were wed he would be honour-bound to cease his pursuit of you.'

'He does not  _pursue_ me George. He doesn't need to. He is the crown Prince, he can do whatever he pleases to  _whoever_  he pleases.' Amanda corrected him sadly. She turned to meet his earnest blue gaze behind Winona's blonde head. 'Do you really still wish me for you wife?' The shame of having been the Prince's mistress would follow her for the rest of her days. All in the Empire would know she did not come to her husband a virgin and Vulcans lived centuries and had perfect recall. It would probably be joked about by S'hailes and T'Sai at her funeral. At her grand-children's funerals.  _Recall their grandmother Amanda? The Prince's whore?_

George frowned fiercely. 'Of course I do!' he hissed, pulling her from her morbid introspection. 'I think no less of  _you_  Princess Amanda.' He huffed out a breath and turned and glared at a flowering tree as if he was attempting to set fire to it with the intensity of his stare. 'It is  _he_ I think less of.' he insisted. 'Not that I ever thought much of him to begin with.' he finished in a low mutter.

Amanda smiled weakly. George's words made her feel a mix of relief and guilt. She wondered if he would be quite so forgiving if he knew how often she ended up returning the Prince's kisses, no matter how she tried to resist him. 'Thank you George.' she replied.

He nodded awkwardly.

The walked in silence for a minute.

'Then you'll consent to the marriage taking place with all haste?' he asked at length.

Amanda's steps faltered for a moment in shock. Winona took her arm to steady her. She was uncertain at what she felt, relief and hope most certainly, but also trepidation and fear. She did not think Sarek would take a married woman for his mistress, but then again Princes were not in the habit of taking humans for lovers either. Vulcans would on occasion take aliens to bed out of curiosity, but the Prince's behaviour with regards to her was unusual. Who knew if the rest of his behaviour would follow Vulcan norms? George was young and no threat to him. Perhaps Sarek wouldn't care that they were wed?

That would be far worse. It was difficult enough for Amanda knowing that she betrayed a fiancée with the Prince, if she were  _married…_  the guilt would be unbearable.

'Princess?' he prompted.

Both Winona and George were regarding her intensely, awaiting her answer. It was plain what both wanted to hear, and the answer she wanted to give. 'Are you certain?' she felt compelled to ask him once more. 'I would release you from our betrothal if you asked...'

'I am sure.' he replied seriously.

Amanda bit her lip. Here was her best chance, her best hope at escaping Sarek once and for all. 'Yes.' she replied. 'I will marry you.'

* * *

She was awoken from sleep by fever-warm hands sliding under her robe and hot, wet, kisses pressed to her skin. Half-asleep she moaned and pulled him closer, sliding her arms around Sarek's broad shoulders and pressing her body into his. His flesh was hard and temptingly hot beneath her fingers.

He groaned softly into her ear and then kissed her - all languid, sweeping, heat that made her blood fizz in her veins and her heart skip in giddy desire. His tongue curled into her mouth in a way that made her shiver and tilt her head towards him for more. He was  _so good_  at that she thought dazedly. By the time she was fully awake but it was too late, her body was singing for him, wet and wanton in desire. There seemed little point in trying to resist him... or so she told herself.

He pressed soft kisses to neck, along her shoulder and down her arm to the bruises still marring her wrists. Amanda frowned in confusion as he gently pressed his warm lips against the tender flesh.

'Sarek?' she asked in sleepy confusion at the action, not really sure what she asked.

In the pitch blackness of the room she could barely make him out as he crouched above her. He sighed and she felt the hot exhalation of his breath along her forearm, but offered no response. Timidly Amanda flexed her fingers so they awkwardly stroked the side of his face. He released his hold upon her and leant into her touch. His skin was warm and slight stubble rasped against her palm. She could not see in the darkness but knew he was staring down at her.

Gently he reached down and ran calloused fingertips across the bites on her neck before skimming them down her body in a hot trail to trace the bruises on her hips.

He then bent over her and repeated the same journey but with his mouth, pressing kisses to the marks he'd left upon her body days earlier. Amanda gasped and shook beneath him at the sensation, her hands falling to fist in the sheets beside her.

His tongue dipped into her belly button and she flinched at the unexpected sensation. He rested his head against her abdomen and mumbled in to her skin. 'Do not betray me little Princess, do not make me hurt you.' He was tracing the bruises on her left hip with his fingers as he spoke. 'I do not like to see these marks upon you.'

Amanda huffed at his conceited efforts to blame her for what he had done. 'I could never  _make_ you do anything.' she replied without thinking.  _He_  was the Vulcan Prince, she was just the poor little human - to imply she held some power over him was ridiculous.

She felt his lips twist into a smile, or maybe a sneer, against the soft skin of her belly. 'That is where you are wrong.' he replied cryptically.

Before she could think on his words properly, he was gripping her thighs and spreading her legs. When he kissed her in that other place he'd marked her – in a manner far more profane than bites or bruises – her back arched and all reason abandoned her.

The noise she made when he entered her some time later was one of desperation. She clung to him and when her body quaked and pulsed in pleasure she cried his name in ecstasy.

George Kirk did not cross her mind at all.


	9. Chapter 9

Her father came for her again the following day. Amanda spent the morning accompanying him as he went about his duties. Again she marvelled at the scale of operations upon Halkan, but her thoughts were distracted, occupied with George Kirk's words of the day before and guilt over Sarek's visit to her bed just  _hours_  later. She felt nearly ill with her conflicting emotions on the matter. After sharing lunch she joined her father in his make-shift office while his conferred over the vid-screen with various colony supervisors. She sat on a couch with Winona and stared at a PADD, not really reading what flashed on the screen. Every now and then she smoothed the frown off her face, but she had no luck smoothing her feelings.

She was so distracted that when a group entered her father's office she did not immediately pay them any attention, just noted their uniforms and dismissed them as Imperial bureaucrats come on some colony business.

'Amanda.' her father called.

She looked up from her introspection, glancing again at the newcomers. 'Yes father?' she asked but she had already seen that the group included the tall young George Kirk and several high ranking human members of her father's staff.

George favoured her with a shy smile.

She could not return it. She felt like a cold hand had reached inside her chest and was squeezing her heart between icy claws. Winona shifted on the couch beside her then rose to her feet to offer greetings. The movement jarred Amanda into action. She managed to pull herself up beside her cousin and offered George Kirk a polite, if stilted, dip of her head.

'It's time for you and young George to be married.' her father continued, smiling more broadly than she'd seen for many months.

Amanda blinked and in a daze, crossed to stand near her father and her fiancée. 'Now?' she asked pointlessly. 'Don't we need a priestess?'

Her father gestured and an adept in flowing white robes and a headdress stepped forward. 'It would be my honour to join the Princess Amanda of Terra to George of Luna in the name of holy T'Priah.' the priestess intoned. Like all human devotees to the Imperial faith, she had shaved eyebrows and her headdress covered her shamefully  _curved_  ears. Amanda regarded her warily.

George held out a hand. Beside her Winona gave her an encouraging little nudge and Amanda stumbled forward to place her hand in his. It was big and warm with calluses across the palm, probably from disruptor pistol drills. She looked up into his vivid blue eyes and tried to calm herself. This was good. Soon she would be married to a nice, kind,  _human_ and Sarek wouldn't be able to confuse and hurt her any longer. She counted her breaths. Her shame would be a thing of the past, and even if it was never forgotten, she would no longer live it. She would be Amanda Kirk, wife of George…

The cold feeling of dread intensified, bringing with it something dark and foreboding. Anger? No. She wasn't angry, she was... afraid.

Perhaps sensing her upset, 'May I have a moment before we begin?' George asked of her father and the priestess. Both backed away slightly and Amanda forced herself to look up at the man – no  _boy,_  she was about to marry. She recalled how immature she had been at 16 - before the rebellion, back when she'd still had a brother and had still believed in the fairy tale version of the Empire. The Kindly Empress T'Pau and her noble, brave sons, protecting and guiding the galaxy... There was none of that delusion in George's face - he had clearly been forced to grow up quicker than she, but he was still so young... She felt guilty for involving him in the mess that was her life.

Just a few meters from them the half a dozen others in the room shifted nervously and whispered to one another. It was not how she had envisioned her wedding. Winona caught her eye from behind George and smiled hopefully at her. Amanda forced herself to return the gesture briefly and then settled her full attention upon her groom.

'Amanda.' he said. 'This will all be over soon, I promise. You'll never have to see the Prince again. We'll leave Halkan after the ceremony.' He paused and continued more hesitantly. 'I've arranged for our honeymoon on Titan.' His expression was so heartfelt and earnest that Amanda felt another wave of guilt. Here was someone who deserved much more than she could offer... 'The views of Jupiter are said to be spectacular.' he added.

Amanda nodded and smiled weakly. 'I've never visited Titan, I've heard it's lovely.'

'And Lady Winona has consented to join our household and remain with you.' he said softly.

That did cheer her a little. She glanced again at her cousin - she looked on the verge of tears. 'Thank you George. I don't know what I'd do without her.'

He blushed at the compliment and squeezed her hand gently. 'Don't be afraid.' he whispered so the others would not hear. 'I will never hurt you.'

She nodded again and tried to smile brightly for him. 'I know George.' she said, desperate to convey the depth of her gratitude. 'You have been so very kind to me.'

His smiled softly, his blush deepening. 'Are you ready then? Shall we get married?'

'Yes!' she said decisively, mustering her composure. 'Let's.'

The Priestess returned and under her guidance they offered prayers to T'Priah, the goddess of love and fertility. George recited his vows and then it was Amanda's turn.

She looked up at George, his handsome kind face, and she knew that had she never laid eyes upon Sarek of Vulcan she would have felt nothing but happiness at being his wife. Well, there would still have been nervousness and fear of the unknown – but nothing like the sapping fear and profound sense of  _wrongness_ she was currently experiencing. Ridiculously, she felt as if she were betraying Sarek, even though he certainly had no claim upon her loyalty. Everyone present was looking at her in concern and confusion. She realised that she had hesitated too long in her vows. Taking a deep breath she licked her lips.

'I, Amanda Grayson, daughter of – ' she broke off. The feeling of dread in her chest had swelled to nauseating levels. She gasped and the floor was suddenly rising up to meet her. George's strong arms wrapped around her but they bought her no comfort, only made it worse.

'Amanda? Amanda are you alright?' he asked her in a panicked tone.

She spoke without meaning to or understanding her own words. 'He's coming!' she gasped.

Her father's face loomed above her, brows furrowed in concern and confusion. 'Amanda! What's wrong?'

'Sarek!' she groaned. ' _He knows.'_  Somehow. She could feel his anger like a living thing and it was growing brighter and stronger as he drew nearer. She was flooded with the compulsion to  _run._

Her father looked across to George. 'He cannot. None outside this room were told.'

The truth of the betrayal was suddenly obvious to Amanda. 'My thoughts.' she whispered brokenly. 'He knows my thoughts.'

The Priestess looked at her sharply. 'Your thoughts?' she hissed. 'The Prince has touched your mind?'

Amanda nodded vaguely. Her body was shivering uncontrollably.

The Priestess glared at her father. 'You did not tell me she was  _bonded_ to the Prince!' Her eyes were wide in fear. 'I cannot marry them! He'll kill us!' she screamed.

There were loud noises, raised voices from outside. The door burst open and Amanda was not at all surprised to find herself staring at an enraged Vulcan Prince. George inhaled sharply and pulled her closer. She pushed at his chest feebly, willing him to release her, for both their sakes.

Sarek's eyes bored into hers for an endless moment, that anger swelling until she sobbed at the intensity of it. ' _I'm sorry!'_  she sobbed.

He sneered at her words before his eyes snapped to George Kirk.

' _You.'_  he hissed with a voice like venom.

Overwhelmed entirely, Amanda fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just checking the conclusion to this cliff-hanger chapter so it should be up later on tonight.  
> x


	10. Chapter 10

The colours were all wrong. Everything overly bright and warped. A bird cried high above her and the noise of it nearly deafened her. Her footfalls echoed with the same strange amplification as she climbed, her steps oddly elongated because she was… wrong. Too tall? The thought slipped away as her view tilted and shifted. She recognised the seemingly endless stairs cut into the red mountainside before her. The green tinged sky and the curve of T'Khut were familiar to her, as was the hot dry heat and the heavy press of T'Khasi's gravity upon her shoulders, but at the same time completely alien.

Ahead loomed the dark gaping doors to the Temple of Gol and the Hall of Ancient Thought beyond. There the seeress sat in council with the katra of the dead. She had come to seek her wisdom. It was cooler in the cavernous chamber, dark and lit only by flaming torches. Amanda wanted to stop and crane her head, look around, but she had no control over her movements.

The ancient woman rose to her feet as she approached, her dark robes an inky shadow around her. The crystal headdress she wore glittered in the red light of the room and her black eyes seemed to bore right through her.

' _Honourable Seeress.'_  she intoned in a voice that was too deep and in a language she did not know.  _'I seek your counsel.'_

The seer did not greet her as a Prince, as the heir of the Empress, but instead simply bade her kneel.

The stone was hard and gritty with sand beneath her knees, her loose layered robes offering little protection. The hands she pressed together in supplication were too large and dark hair was sprinkled across the olive skin.

The seer's fingers were dry as they pressed against her psi points but she was unafraid, she cleared her thoughts and welcomed the touch of her mind.

Thoughts and memories spiralled in a lazy whirl before their joined mind's eye. She made no attempt to shield herself from her, she knew all. A vision stopped and was re-examined at length. Her own face? But not. It was… the beautiful Terran girl. Amanda. She felt a wave of heat at the vivid memory. The girl whimpered beneath her, cool human skin warmed by her own, calling her name –  _Sarek –_ tempting her with a mind full of thoughts that were sweet and innocent, unlike any she'd ever felt before. She wanted to join their minds and revel in that purity but she knew to do so would be to destroy it and that was something she found she could not bear.

 _Amanda._  Daughter of the Human king, sister to the foolish rebel her brother had destroyed himself over. Her  _stupid_ brother. Inciting the wrath of their vengeful mother. A vision in a vision – Silek's green blood hot and foul on his fingers... But that was wrong, her brother was Daniel and -

_Telik._

The word echoed in her head.

Disjointed disbelief not her own consumed her.

The seeress plucked at something in her mind and she had a sudden disconcerting sense of  _distance._  Vast _terrible_  distance. A yawning black chasm 15 lightyears wide separated her from… her telsu. Bonded.

' _Pi'reldai Terrasu t'du.'_ the seeress mocked.

_Your little Terran princess._

* * *

Amanda gasped and pushed herself up on her arms, the alien light spectrum and oppressive heat of her dream fading into the Halkan décor of her father's office. Her senses seemed dimmed - her vision blurred and hearing muffled. For a moment she didn't know what was happening, then she felt that burning, alien,  _rage_ once more and she remembered.

She was on the floor, Winona and the priestess knelt beside her. Her cousin's eyes where wide in terror and her cheeks were wet with tears. The priestess looked petrified. Ignoring them both she struggled to her feet and took in the scene before her in horror. George lay sprawled across her father's squat desk, Sarek looming over him with a hand wrapped around the boy's throat. He'd turned a terrible red colour and was flailing wildly against the Vulcan's grip.

Her father and several others stood motionless behind them. There was a look of utter despair on his face.

Amanda sobbed.

Sarek's anger, for she understood now that it was  _his_  emotions she was feeling, had intensified. She did not understand  _how_  one being could hold such hate. Sarek was going to kill George, she had no doubt. He was enjoying slowly crushing the boy's life out of him. Her father had been correct – Sarek would not keep a married woman for a mistress, but he'd kill her husband without compunction.

'Sarek!' she yelled.

He snarled and turned his alien glare upon her. Like any human faced with an irate Vulcan, Amanda cowered. His slanted brows exaggerated his violent scowl and his lips were drawn back exposing sharp Vulcan teeth threateningly.

George choked, the noise wet, hacking and obscene.

'Wait, please!' she begged stepping forward and reaching for him hesitantly.

He snarled at her and she shrunk back half a step. 'Begging for your moon-boy's life Reldai _?!'_  he hissed.

Her 'moon-boy' had gone limp, the gasping of tortured attempts at breath and the flickering of his bloodshot eyes the only sign he still lived. He had tried to save her, a girl he hardly knew, and because of that kindness he was going to die. Winona was sobbing quietly behind her. He was so young. Sorrow and guilt enveloped her and she felt hot tears scald her cheeks. 'Please Sarek!' she choked. 'Don't kill him.'

'He thought to take you from me!' he roared. 'He will  _die!_ '

George coughed and Amanda heard finality in that noise. Uncaring of her fear she grabbed at Sarek, clutching at his arm and shoulder. 'He will not take me! I'll stay with you, I swear, just please! Don't kill him.'

She'd said precisely the wrong thing. 'He means so much to you?' Sarek hissed lowly.

Amanda darted a glance at George. It appeared Sarek's grip had loosened slightly in his distraction. She quickly returned her attention to the Vulcan. 'I barely know him!' she insisted, tugged at his arm. 'You  _know_ that. You've shared my thoughts.'

His eyes glittered menacingly. 'Aye and often enough they have been of him!' he spat.

Amanda stepped forward again, moulding herself into Sarek's side. 'It was not  _him_ I thought on, but my duty to him.'

Sarek exhaled heavily through his nose, his eyes narrowed suspiciously, but Amanda could tell he had calmed slightly. She looked down at George's limp form.

She tried a different tact. 'George Kirk!' she half-yelled. 'I reject your offer of marriage! Our engagement is broken.'

George of course, made no response to her declaration, but she felt Sarek's rage dwindling further. The room was quiet save a low rumbling noise emanating from the Vulcan. And Winona's quiet crying.

Amanda reached up hesitantly and pressed her hand to his cheek, pulling his face towards her. 'Sarek.' she said. 'It's done, he is not my betrothed anymore. He has no further hold over me.' When he did not release him she continued more desperately. 'I barely know him, he's nothing to me and he's only 16 – a child!'

Sarek was still breathing heavily, his face twisted in a grimace. 'You were about to  _marry_ him.' he spat.

George had gone utterly still. 'I'm sorry!' she wailed. 'Please,  _please_  Sarek. Forgive me!'

'I told you not to betray me.' he reminded her, his voice cold and bitter. He lifted George from the table slightly and slammed him down, the back of his head making an awful thudding noise.

Amanda sobbed anew and slapped at Sarek. 'Sarek! If you kill him I will  _never_  forgive you.'

When he still did not respond she let out a wordless noise of despair. Tears burnt her eyes, blinding her.  _'You bastard!'_  she screamed in English.  _'He's just a boy! He didn't do anything! He was trying to protect me - from you! This is your fault!_ _If you hadn't hurt me, he wouldn't have tired this!'_

'Amanda!' her father called in censure and warning.

Ignoring him she pulled back her arm and hit the Prince across the face, as hard as she could. His head snapped towards her and he growled, snatching at her arm with his free hand. However she wasn't currently throttling anyone and she had another hand. She promptly resumed her attack, but with her left instead of her right. Sarek did not appear overly concerned, it was unlikely she was hurting him, even though she was hitting him so hard her hand was stinging numbly.

In desperation she screamed and dug her fingernails into the too-warm skin of his cheek and dragged them in deep gouges towards his jaw - so roughly she felt one of them break. Suddenly she was straining on her toes, gripped painfully by the back of her neck and pulled up towards Sarek. His hold was pulling her hair and hurting her neck and so she hit him again, his green blood hot and wet under her fingers.

Panting like a winded animal, his eyes wide and mad, Amanda wondered if he was  _finally_ going to kill her. She'd been living in fear of this moment ever since that dinner on Earth a year previously and now that it was finally upon her she didn't care. She was filled with that same madness that had struck her that first night when she'd been taken to his bed, when she'd thought to goad him into killing her so her suffering would be short lived.

George was alive - Sarek had both his hands upon her, not his neck - the poor boy hadn't died for her sake, and soon she'd be free of the shame of being the Prince's alien whore. She hoped he would not punish her father, but with her and Daniel both gone, perhaps he'd would welcome death…

Sarek's voice brought her out of her revelry. 'I have no intention of killing you.' he said, sounding more in control of himself. The grip on her neck released and she fell back onto the balls of her feet, her head ringing.

At their feet Winona was tending to George Kirk, who appeared to be unconscious but was at least breathing. Amanda felt dizzy with relief and adrenaline. Before it could all really sink in however, Sarek pulled her into his arms, roughly restraining her. She froze in shock. She had no desire to  _hug_ him. He'd just nearly killed someone. George Kirk was lying half-dead a scant metre from her, her father was looking on in dismay and the priestess who was to have married her to the aforementioned half-dead boy was watching, as was her cousin and two of her father's guards.

She pushed him away, wedging a little space between them. Sarek ignored her, glaring at her intently and sliding a hand up along the line of her cheek. His fingers dragged hotly against her skin and then settled with intent along the bone beneath her left eye. Amanda gasped as that vague sense of him, where she'd felt that rage earlier, suddenly swelled and became deafening.

She felt him,  _angry,_  but a cold bitter jealousy in place of the hot violence of earlier. It overwhelmed her as she felt his thoughts, his mind, invade her own. She heard herself sob as if from far away. No. No he  _promised_ he would not… He felt her horror, she knew it, and yet he ignored it. Ruthlessly he searched her memories, her thoughts, seeking seeking – what she did not know, but all he scrutinised regarded George Kirk. It felt like hours but was only seconds before she heard his voice inside her.  _'You do not love him.'_

It was not a question but her exposed mind offered up the answer just the same.  _'No.'_

He wasn't angry anymore, he was filled with deep, lustful, satisfaction. It poured into her where his fingers pressed into her skin and filled her up like an empty glass. It felt like fire was rippling through her veins instead of blood. She forgot her pain and horror at his unwanted mind-touch, the betrayal of the  _one_ promise he had ever made to her. Instead she shifted closer to him, letting him fold her into his arms.

Blindly she turned her face towards his, rubbing herself against him like a cat, stricken with feelings and desires that weren't her own, weren't even human. He spoke except he didn't, the words revibrated silently inside her skull.  _'You are mine.'_

'Yes.' she whispered aloud, because she found she could not lie. His breath was hot against her cheek, warmed like blasts from a furnace. She felt his pleasure at her simple utterance. It was blinding in its intensity – like the flare of a star gone nova - and she whimpered before the onslaught.

* * *

**END PART II**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written a decent chunk of the final part so expect an update soon!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay! It's unusual for me to take so long I know.  
> I have another 8k or so already written so expect the next few chapters in a more timely fashion - I think I've gotten things more or less smoothed out.  
> Um - Part III is gone be way longer than I anticipated... rather like this fic, which I thought might be 20-25k long. max.  
> :/  
> I fail at brevity.

Her final hours on Halkan passed in a twisted blur.

Back in his rooms she and Sarek attacked one another like crazed animals. He was insatiable and she a mirror reflecting everything right back at him. His alien, all-consuming,  _want_ burned all reason and sense right out of her skull and left her half-mad.

With his mind joined to hers, her senses seemed heightened and his body had an intoxicating effect upon her. The heat of his skin and the firm play of lean muscle beneath awoke a strange desire in her and she wanted to sink her very fingers - her teeth - into him, to mark that golden flesh indelibly with her touch. She scratched him and bit him and he growled in delight and she felt his pleasure in the back her mind as if it was her own.

All thoughts not pertaining to Sarek and the feel of his body against her and inside her were dismissed entirely. There was no guilt or shame or anger, she existed as a primitive creature of mere sensation. She and Sarek were one, completely fused, their wants and desires mirrored though the shackle that bound her thoughts to his. In her mindless state it was almost exhilarating, to be utterly free of all cares and worries and focus only upon greedy pleasure.

When she broke from the thrall of his thoughts and was entirely herself again, they were aboard a ship bound for Vulcan. The air was warm and dry – Vulcan standard – and Sarek too-hot where he lay beside her.

She left him sleeping and cleansed herself numbly in the little stateroom bathroom. There were faint bruises and marks scattered across her body, evidence of the prince's attentions. She noted their presence with an odd detachment. Amanda did not know what she felt. She had agreed to be Sarek's, to stay with him… But he'd used his Vulcan telepathy upon her immediately after she'd made that promise.

He had said he would not touch her mind without her permission. It was the one concession she'd wrested out of him. He'd been aware of her horror when he'd done so, but he had continued regardless. Now that he had betrayed that vow, she realised that she had trusted him not to - she'd honestly believed that he would keep his word. She huffed angrily in self-disgust and switched the shower to the sonic setting to dry off with far more force than necessary.

It was ridiculous in hindsight – trusting Sarek of Vulcan to keep his word given their history, but she had. The tenderness around her right eye brought a flood of painful emotions welling up inside her that the little aches she felt elsewhere did not. She dug fingers into the soft flesh over her cheekbone and walked them up over her temple. Peering into the mirror she saw no mark – but the soreness of the bruise was there - where Sarek had pressed his fingers to her and invaded her mind.

She felt betrayed. Yes she had known marrying George would anger him – but he had never spoken of breaking her engagement. His jealousy had been obvious, but it had seemed a petty thing, his dismissive insults of her 'moon-boy'. If he had made his inclinations  _clear_ she would have given the matter much more thought…

Amanda frowned at her pale reflection. A week ago Sarek had implied that all there was between them was mutual attraction and some political need for him to cultivate a certain reputation that a scandalous entanglement with her could provide. If she judged his feelings for her on that, he had no right to be so wroth. But it was not their agreement he had spoken of when he had confronted her.

He had reacted with an intense jealous rage that spoke of an attachment that far more than a mere appreciation for her looks. He claimed she was his. He had said such things often, with ever-increasing frequency, Amanda realised as she looked over their most recent interactions.

But what did that  _mean?_  One moment he was all tenderness and affection, sweet kisses and smouldering looks, the next he was humiliating her, hurting her, betraying her trust… Amanda's own feelings could not find one view to settle upon – did Sarek want her for a lover or plaything to taunt? The duality of his treatment of her left her reeling in confusion.

In the mirror her face had twisted into a mournful expression. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could not go on this way. She would make him explain himself, and she would either hate him or - she could know give a name to it.

* * *

Amanda pulled a chair beside the bed and waited. Vulcans did not sleep as long as humans so she did not anticipate a long delay.

She'd been lost in thought, morose thoughts, for perhaps half an hour when she noted his return to consciousness. His breathing smoothed and he stretched like a cat. Amanda ignored the long lines of lean Vulcan as he sprawled shameless across the sheets. He rolled his head towards her unerringly, as if he sensed her presence. Which he probably did.

He blinked at her sleepily and gave a little half-smile. His apparent good-humour angered her. 'What is telik?' she asked coolly.

The little smile became a frown. Sarek blinked and rose up on his elbows. Amanda resisted the urge to glance down at his sculpted chest with its dusting of dark hair. For the millionth time, she hated that she found him handsome.

'Bonded?' he translated into Imperial Standard, his voice hoarse with sleep.

'Yes.' Amanda replied.

'Where did you hear this term?' he asked warily.

'In a dream.' Amanda said bluntly. 'I dreamt I was you and the seeress of Gol showed you a vision,' she paused and swallowed, feeling slightly foolish speaking of such unlikely things, despite all she had witnessed, 'A vision of me. And she said  _telik.'_

Sarek's frown receded and he instead looked at her with something she thought was perhaps respect, or at least acknowledgement of… something. 'We are bonded.' he admitted.

Amanda blinked. She had expected more denials. 'What does that mean?' she asked quickly. Perhaps he was only being so forthright because he was half-asleep…

'Vulcans form telepathic bonds via mental contact. Family, lovers, very close friends – they will cultivate many over a lifetime.' Sarek informed her in a conversational tone, shoving a pillow behind his back and settling himself more comfortably against the bulkhead.

'I'm not Vulcan.' Amanda pointed out.

'No.' Sarek agreed. 'Nor did I intend to form a bond with you Amanda of Terra.' He stared at her intently. 'I was unaware of its existence.'

She shifted in her seat. If he had not intended to 'bond' with her… 'Well - can you get rid of it then?' she asked.

Sarek's eyes narrowed and he slid from the bed to rise fluidly to his feet. Amanda's eyes widened and she looked up at him in surprise, her hands gripping the armrests of her chair. 'No. I will not.' he replied lowly.

Amanda knew that tone of voice. She met his eyes gamely even as she longed to cower before him. 'What am I to you then? What does this mean?' She pursed her lips. 'Not that I can trust a word you say.' she spat, his actions of the previous day clear in her mind. 'You have done nothing but  _lie_ to me the entire time I have known you  _Prince_ Sarek.'

'I have not lied.' he insisted, looming over her, somehow managing to be intimidating even when naked and with his hair in a dark sleepy tangle.

Amanda snorted. 'You told me I was merely a means to an ends and it mere happy coincidence that you found me pretty enough to amuse you.' He made no effort to respond so she continued, her voice rising. 'Now I find out I am  _bound_ to you, whatever that means, and you… you…  _brainwash_  me and drag me off to Vulcan!'

Big hands encircled her arms and she was roughly tugged to her feet and crushed against him. 'You  _promised_ that you would not do that!' Amanda continued bitterly, glaring up at him and ignoring the unspoken threat of his rough handling of her. 'You said you would not touch my mind!' The heat of tears stung behind her eyes. The grip on her arms was painfully tight. She thought about fighting his hold but there was no point.

His eyes were narrowed and his top lip pulled back in a sneer.

Amanda's heart beat wildly in a mix of anger and panic.

He was going to hurt her again.

Or perhaps he would use his accursed telepathy to sooth away her anger and fears and turn her into a thoughtless doll again? She would awaken hours later and find she'd lain with him again or done whatever else he wished and all her pain and anger would be compounded even more.

Would that be her future? Was her life to be just a series of day-dreams with long hours of cruel lucidity and reality in between?

The hold on her arms released and she instead found herself cradled firmly against him. 'No.' he insisted firmly, and she knew he knew her thoughts.

'It will not be like that.' He continued, his voice soft and pleading. 'To be bonded is not to be a plaything or a slave Amanda. I regret that I have hurt you so, I should not have broken my word, should not have touched your thoughts… It is difficult…' he frowned. 'I will… try… not to do so in the future.'

Amanda sniffed. He sounded sincere, but he'd tricked her before. 'You made another such promise not long ago.'

'I did not truly believe we were telik when I said that. I thought the seeress confused – she has been known to misinterpret her visions.' Sarek continued.

Amanda raised her head to meet his gaze, trying to gauge his honesty.

'My people, we are territorial and aggressive when provoked. The instinct to kill the one that would take you from me was difficult to ignore.' he explained grudgingly.

 _Take her._ No mention was made of her own choices. He spoke of her as a possession. Implied she belonged to him. A thing George had tried to steal. 'What am I then?' she asked. 'A toy to play with? What am I to do? Follow you about until you tire of me?'

Sarek tilted his head and was silent for a moment before he raised a hand and cradled the side of her face. It was a tender gesture that pleased the naive,  _stupid_ part of Amanda that wanted to believe him, and made the rest of her nervous. His fingers were not far from the tender spots near her temple - did he mean to trick her and touch her thoughts?

'You are my telsu.' he said softly, looking at her with an expression she could not place.

She tried to translate the word. 'Bonded-woman?' That did not clarify anything.

He nodded slightly. 'Were we two Vulcan peasants, that would make you my bondmate. They would call you my wife.' Amanda gasped a little in shock.  _Wife?_  'But I am a Prince and I already have a wife, one selected for me by the Empress, and you are not even V'tosh – you are komihn.' he said. 'They will call you my bonded concubine.'

'Bonded Concubine?' Amanda repeated back in a daze, her throat dry and her thoughts dizzy. The term was vaguely familiar, but it bought her thoughts of exotic T'Sai in glittering robes lazing about in harems, not terrified human girls.

The Prince nodded. 'My father had two such telsu in his lifetime.' he continued. 'It is a position of honour, to be so favoured. A chosen mate.'

'I…' Amanda did not know what to say. What was he telling her exactly? He said he had not wished to bond with her, and yet from the way he spoke of it, it seemed such arrangements were… what? The favoured lovers and paramours of Vulcan royalty outside their arranged marriages?  _Love matches_? Sarek certainly did not  _love_ her. 'When? How did this happen?' she asked.

'Sha'hal'lak.' Sarek murmured, leaning down towards her and pressing his brow to hers. His skin was hot and his hair fell forward to tickle her face.

Amanda frowned, the words were meaningless to her, a dialect she did not speak. 'What?' she asked quietly. But he ignored her query. He had told her far more than she expected but she  _still_  didn't understand. Did he actually  _want_  her as his 'bonded concubine'? Despite the fact that he had not intended to bond with her?

He shifted closer still, his hand slipping around to cradle the back of her skull in a gentle grip. Amanda swayed a little on her feet. Resisted the urge to sink into his embrace. His lips moved and she felt his breath warm against her skin. 'Most-favoured.' he crooned. 'Beautiful Amanda. I will be good. I will not hurt you.'

She wanted to believe him, wanted that fantasy of the handsome, valiant prince to suddenly become a reality, all the cruelties she'd suffered swept away as a bad dream, but she did not trust him. 'I swear it.' he whispered fervently. 'I swear I will not hurt you my lovely little reldai.' He sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as her.

Amanda still did not believe him, but what choice did she have? She believed he would  _try_  not to hurt her and she'd sooner be his most-favoured, his bonded concubine, than a terrorised captive. And that was the choice before her. He would not let her go, that much was plain, and having that fact proven would destroy what little peace there was between them.

She sighed and let her arms wind around him. One last chance. For those moments when he had been tender, when he had been kind, for those she would give him one last chance to prove himself a decent, worthy man, before she gave up all hope and faced the reality of her situation.

'Sarek.' she murmured in defeat.

He kissed her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I was slightly quicker with this update... I feel like it's super unpolished but it's reached the stage where I'm just staring at it in now. (・Ａ・）
> 
> Thanks to PoorQ and Lamb for their input over the next couple of chapters and to Obsessive66 for noticing strange formatting issues.

The view afforded her was magnificent. Shi’Kahr spread as far as she could see, all wide avenues and tall towers that swooped and merged into one another, blending into cliffs, rocky outcroppings and the ground itself. There were no sharp angles, everything was softened with curves that drew the eye in a pleasing manner and all was finished in complimentary desert tones. The Vulcan sun – Alam’ak or Nevasa they called it – hung low over the horizon, staining the greenish sky with the reds and yellows of dusk. The great curve of T’Khut hung off to one side, the two other stars of the Vulcan system, Czar’ak and Behr’ak, hidden behind it.

It was an entrancing sight.

Amanda had not expected to find Vulcan so lovely - the grace and beauty of the capital of the Empire was greatly at odds with its rulers.

The Prince had bade her bring Winona with her to Vulcan, but even in her confused state, Amanda had been cognizant enough to refuse. She remained safe with Amanda’s father. With Amanda gone, she was all that remained of his family. In place of her cousin and her maids, Sarek had given her Vulcan handmaidens, human servants and Andorian slaves to serve her. The Andorians had shocked her slightly when she first encountered them – her father had not kept alien slaves, there were Terrans enough wanting to serve the King and the Empire, and she’d never been up close to an Andorian before.

Their blue skin was unnerving and their antennae distracting, but their faces were quite human as were their voices, and she found herself adjusting to their presence easily enough. They also had quite lovely hair. Silvery-grey or gleaming white. It looked very soft. It was the fact that they were slaves that made her uncomfortable around them.

Her own life had been privileged, but she had recent first-hand knowledge of what it meant to have your freedom taken. Now that she had an inkling of what they suffered, she could not dismiss the slaves she saw around the palace and in the streets below as easily as she might once have.

Even worse was the fact that the Andorians who served her seemed _grateful_ for their positions. The prospect of life on a labour colony made bowing and scraping before the Empress’ Court seem appealing she supposed.

Their presence caused her endless discomfort. She did not wish for slaves to serve her, but she knew if she sent them away they’d just end up serving someone different and that person might treat them cruelly. It seemed a pitiful thing, but she did attempt to make their existence more tolerable where she was able. Her small improvements were met with confusion by her human servants and Vulcan handmaidens however.

By custom slaves slept on the floor in the same ragged robes they wore all day, and being as ill-suited to the harsh Vulcan climate as she, they had a distinct odour. When she’d bade them be given new clothing she’d had to pretend it was because the sight and smell of them offended her, not because she pitied them. Her Vulcan handmaidens treated the slaves as if they were invisible, concern over their comfort was not something they understood, and the human servants seemed to enjoy having someone lower than them on the social ladder to order about. When she’d thought to have the slaves wear the same simple robes marked with the Prince’s household sigil that her servants wore, the humans had been deeply offended.

In the end she’d had to have new, even plainer robes made for her slaves and finer ones for her servants just to calm them all. It was worth it though. It was much easier for her to pretend the silent Andorians that cleaned her rooms were servants not slaves with them dressed in neat tidy clothing. There was little else she could do with them save ensure they received adequate food and weren’t beaten. Her Vulcan Handmaidens had observed the entire process in curious mystification. They agreed that the slaves were infinitely more tolerable in clean robes, but it was obvious they would not have considered the changes Amanda implemented of their own accord.

 ‘Reldai Amanda.’

Amanda blinked and turned away from the long window and her internal reflections.

Her younger of her two handmaidens, T’Fon, stared back at her curiously across the little wooden table between them.

‘It is your turn.’ the Vulcan woman prompted her.

Amanda nodded and returned her attention to the game board. T’Fon was teaching her a game popular at the Empress’s court. The variant they were currently playing was modelled after a siege. Amanda was playing as the attacker, her pieces outnumbering T’Fon’s two-to-one, but T’Fon’s starting position in the centre of the board included a defensible fortress position etched into the wood. Since T’Fon’s objective was to get her Emperor piece to the side of the board and ‘escape’ this advantage was not entirely helpful.

As it was they’d been playing over an hour and Amanda had chased T’Fon across the board several times already. She regarded the carved pieces and tried to remember how they’d been positioned before T’Fon’s turn. She twisted her bottom lip and tapped one of her pieces. The little figure was quite hideously carved. It had four arms and a snarling face. In contrast T’Fon’s defensive pieces were valiant looking Vulcan warriors.

She shifted her piece, smacking it down in a vacant position at random, too impatient to give any real thought to strategy.

T’Fon smiled a little and quickly moved one of her warriors to clear a path for her emperor that Amanda hadn’t considered. ‘Yut!’ she exclaimed.

Amanda sighed and moved a piece to block off the escape route. T’Fon’s smile widened and she moved another piece, clearly having anticipated the move. ‘Dah-yut!’ she said gleefully.

T’Fon’s emperor now had two clear paths off the board and Amanda could only block one. Her handmaiden had won. The game was over. ‘Congratulations T’Fon, I concede defeat.’ she said.

The handmaiden smiled. ‘For a novice your game is not so poor, though you were clearly distracted towards the end.’

Amanda nodded. Wiggling a little she adjusted her position upon the flat cushion she knelt on. It was impossible to get comfortable and she was tired. She glanced towards the door to her bedchamber. She was _always_ tired. The heat and gravity of Vulcan was exhausting. Her feet ached from bearing the extra weight and the dry heat stole what little energy she had and left her listless. T’Fon sensed her exhaustion and rose gracefully to her feet. Amanda stood far more slowly, encumbered by her elaborate robes. Even after several weeks on the planet she still felt awkward, her limbs heavy and strange.

‘Do you wish to bathe Reldai?’ T’Fon enquired.

Amanda shook her head. ‘No, I’ll just lay down for a little while.’

T’Fon nodded her head in acceptance.

Sarek usually called for her in the evenings, so it had become a habit of Amanda’s to nap in the afternoon.

She dismissed the woman and retreated to her private bedroom. She pulled off her heavy outer robes haphazardly, uncaring where they landed, and stripped down to her light slip before collapsing on her bed. She tugged the biggest jewels and clips from her hair but left it twisted atop her head. There were still pins in the braided lengths, but she was too tired to remove them and ignored the discomfort. She fell into an exhausted sleep near instantly. 

* * *

 

It was full dark and Shi’Kahr glittered with golden lights outside her bedroom window when she awoke. For a moment she glanced around the shadowy room in confusion, seeking what had disturbed her, but then she realised it wasn’t anything in the room, but rather something in her mind. Sarek was calling her. She felt the pull of it.

‘T’Sai!’ she called vaguely, uncertain who of her handmaiden’s might be awaiting her. T’Fon appeared in the arched doorway, two human servants silent and bowed behind her. Maybe it wasn’t as late as she thought if T’Fon was still in her chambers.

‘You require me Reldai Amanda?’ she asked.

‘Yes T’Fon. I must dress…’ she trailed off. She should probably bathe beforehand - she felt clammy and unclean… But the compulsion to hurry tugged at her.

‘I will lay out robes while you wash.’ T’Fon stated, making the decision for her.

‘Yes, thank you.’ Amanda replied and wandered into bathroom. One of the human women followed her and helped her pin up her hair anew whilst the other turned on the shower to its coldest setting. Amanda scrubbed at her skin briskly and emerged a minute lately feeling slightly better.

The servants wrapped her in a layered Vulcan court dress and robes, braided her hair up neatly and pinned various jewels all over her person until she was deemed presentable by T’Fon. Just the ordeal of dressing had left Amanda feeling hot and sticky once more.

She _hated_ the heat. Hated the ridiculous Vulcan robes she had to wear. The seemingly endless yards of fabric were not only stifling, the weight of them pulled at her oppressively. And the _jewellery._ Vulcan jewels were big and ornate - _gaudy_ Amanda thought snidely - by any standard and under Vulcan gravity, (1.4 times that of her native Earth), the headdresses and circlets she was made to wear gave her constant headaches. Just her _hair_ weighed too much. Fully dressed and primped in all her… Vulcan… _concubine_ finery - she just wanted to sink to the floor in a puddle of silk and cotton and pointy jewellery and never move again. She sighed balefully and let her feet led her dutifully out of her apartment to wait upon her prince.

T’Fon accompanied her, knowing better than to ask where they were going. Amanda didn’t actually know, she just knew... _where._ It was like a compass in her head or a magnet in her chest drawing her inescapably towards Sarek. Her _telsu._ Even after several weeks to get used to it, having a strange telepathic bond to him still did not seem quite real. For a human it was utterly alien – inexplicable and something like magic or witchcraft.

And she was not the only one that had difficultly coming to terms with the bond. It was a fact widely gossiped upon. Whilst keeping a mistress or paramour was common enough, it was unusual for a Vulcan to actually _bond_ with any save their official bondmate – the spouse selected for them by their parents in childhood. From the whispering Amanda had overheard it was acceptable for royalty to have a bonded concubine – Sarek’s father Skon had two over the course of his marriage to T’Pau - and Emperor Solkar was said to have kept half a dozen bonded ‘companions’ all at once in his youth.

So the fact that Sarek had a favourite and had bonded to her was not in of itself the issue, but that she was human most certainly _was_. A complete scandal in fact. As Sarek had told her - to be the Crown Princes’s bonded concubine was a position of great honour. Usually the women in such a position were T’Sai or Reldai – Vulcans of rank. _She_ was not even a Vulcan, let alone a high-born one.

Her presence at the Empress’s court seemed to have thrown it into uproar. She’d seen ample evidence that Sarek was certainly not the only Vulcan with an… interest… in humans, but other Vulcans just ‘dabbled’ with them for amusement, they did not keep them as lovers. Opinion over her was greatly divided.

Dark eyes followed her in curiosity, amusement and open hostility as she let her feet guide her towards Sarek without conscious thought. Most S’haile and T’Sai seemed to find it entertaining that the Prince was so enamoured of a little human, but others were openly disgusted. Amanda for her own part was beyond caring. Sarek wanted her at court, so there she was. She did not leave her rooms unless he asked her to and for the most part was simply too busy being hot, uncomfortable and irritated to fear gossiping Vulcans.

A small part of her was pleased though – took pride in having ruined Sarek’s reputation as it were. He’d certainly ripped _her’s_ to shreds. Amanda wasn’t an idiot however, she didn’t draw attention to herself – she didn’t embarrass the Prince or make a spectacle of herself. The last thing she wanted was for the Empress to take notice of her. It was highly unlikely that Empress T’Pau was one of those who found her involvement with Prince Sarek ‘amusing’.

They walked much further than usual. After five minutes traversing wide hallways and several turbolift rides they were in a part of the sprawling Imperial Palace that Amanda had never visited. The lavish halls were more or less empty save the occasionally servant or guard. T’Fon looked slightly nervous, her posture rigid.

‘Where are we?’ Amanda quietly asked her in an aside.

The Vulcan woman licked her lips and almost whispered her response. ‘The Imperial residences.’

Amanda froze and T’Fon faltered beside her. Sarek had never summoned her to such a place before. Concubines weren’t meant to roam the private rooms of the Imperial family. Especially 19 year old human ones. She looked around nervously. Sarek had _dozens_ of cousins. She was quite certain most of them weren’t pleased with her presence at court. One Vulcan Prince was plenty, she had no desire to make the acquaintance of any more. Or Princesses for that matter.

Her eyes widened as a thought occurred to her. ‘Reldai T’Rea…’ she hissed in a panic to T’Fon, ‘Where are her chambers?’

‘Not in this wing, Gidaas be praised.’ T’Pon replied twisting her left hand in to a gesture to ward off bad luck.

Amanda swallowed. She still felt the mental compulsion to continue on but she hesitated. ‘He would not call me if he did not wish me to attend him.’ she remarked more to reassure herself than T’Fon.

‘That is true.’ her handmaiden agreed.

They continued warily, both nervous and watchful for any stray members of House S’chn T’gai. Mercifully they passed through the private residence unscathed save a few sharp looks from wandering attendants and servants. Amanda came to a halt. A dozen guards stood arrayed near a large carved door. She felt each and every eye on her.

She took care to dress in the manner of a Vulcan, and her handmaidens always ensured she looked presentable, but her humanity was obvious. Vulcan ladies did not cover their hair indoors, and the elaborate hairstyles they favoured left her curved ears exposed. The dress and robes covered a body much the same as a Vulcan woman’s, but she was much smaller and her figure curved rather more obviously. Vulcan woman tended to be tall and athletic, Amanda in contrast had often been told she was ‘doll-like’. She was a pale, fragile, pathetic little thing compared to the tall, regal, golden-skinned T’Sai she saw gliding along the halls.

The tall, regal, golden-skinned, (if slightly nervous), T’Sai beside her spoke imperiously. ‘Greetings Osasu. I bring the Princess Amanda at the behest of Prince Sarek.’ T’Fon intoned formally.

The attendant she addressed, a Vulcan she did not recognise, turned from T’Fon and stared at Amanda very hard for several long seconds, his eyes flicking up and down over her in a way that made her want to cross her arms and glare at him.

‘The Prince spoke not of this.’ he replied at length.

‘He called her.’ T’Fon explained shortly.

The Vulcan nodded slightly in acceptance. ‘I shall inform the Prince of her presence.’

Amanda and T’Fon stood facing the silent guards for what felt like an eternity. Sarek’s call pulled at her the entire time and she fidgeted, restraining the urge to simply shove her way into the room. Her feet ached. Her soft slippers did little to cushion her feet from the hard stone beneath her. The balls of her feet would be especially bruised. She wanted nothing more than to return to her nice soft bed and the blessed oblivion of sleep.

Finally the attendant returned and indicated that they should enter with a dismissive wave of his hand. Irritated, Amanda favoured him with a full-blown glare as she passed and took small pleasure in the scandalised widening of his eyes.

She ignored her surroundings and crossed through the enfilade suite towards where she felt him. There were many Vulcans present. Petitioners to see Sarek she vaguely assumed. Apart from the fact that they were all tall pinch-faced Vulcans, the rooms could well have been her father’s state apartments. The aligned doors connecting the rooms were all open save the last which was watched over by two guards in ceremonial armour. Heads turned to watch as the two women made their way towards them. Amanda had a lot of practice feigning regal indifference, she _was_ a princess, albeit a lowly human one, after all and she managed to exude an air of absolute calm verging on boredom despite the unpleasant attention. When she approached the closed doors the guard unexpectedly crossed their spears with a clang, causing her to flinch and loose her composure slightly.

Amanda reached the end of her patience. She had been summoned, (woken up from her much needed sleep in fact), she was not some petitioner come to beg the Prince’s time without invitation. The guards would have been told to let her enter when Sarek was informed of her arrival by the attendant – they were just trying to insult her.

‘Open!’ she snapped. Yelled. Loudly ordered.

The stupid gleaming spears remained crossed over the door. Amanda managed to restrain the urge to scream or stamp her foot. She knew her behaviour was unbecoming of a Princess – unbecoming of a grown woman in general – but she was so frustrated and irritated. It was too hot. Her feet, her back and her neck ached. She couldn’t breathe properly because Vulcan had a stupidly thin atmosphere - her brain was probably half suffocated -  and her ridiculous robes were doing their best to drag her to the floor with their sheer weight.

And not only that - Sarek’s summons had given her a headache. She felt as if hooks were digging into her brain, dragging her towards the doorway, towards him. She didn’t particularly want to go, but she _had_ to. Tears of impotent anger burnt her eyes and she clenched her fists.

‘I said _open!’_ she managed in a slightly more calm if still very tense voice.

‘Identify yourself human.’ the guard on the left, the one with the bigger hat, said.

‘You know _exactly_ who I am! Open the door!’ Amanda screeched.

‘Reldai Amanda was summoned by the Prince.’ T’Fon informed them in a rather more mild tone.

Amanda took two steps forward, Sarek’s call beginning to overwhelm her. She wondered if she’d just barrel into the door like a blind woman if the guards continued to act like bastards. Why didn’t Sarek open the door? He must feel how close she was, and how _angry_ she was. She certainly felt it when _he_ was in one of his flaming Vulcan fits of rage.

He probably found it amusing, maybe he’d summoned her purely so she’d half to walk half-way across the whole damned palace and then humiliate herself like a dog scratching at his door. T’Fon and the guards were snapping at each other and those hooks were dragging into her skull, tearing and throbbing. In frustration, Amanda grabbed at them at _pulled._

There was a sense of huge weight, like she was trying to pull a brick with a string of spider’s silk, and then the dragging pull of the hooks snapped. Amanda gasped at the sudden relief to her aching head and then the doors blew open with an echoing crack, knocking the guards to the floor. The long row of rooms was suddenly completely silent, Amanda’s breathing heavy.

Prince Sarek stood several meters beyond her in a small but grandly appointed room, a PADD in hand, looking out of the doorway with his head tilted to one side and an eyebrow raised.

‘You’ve broken my door little reldai.’ he informed her mildly.

Amanda suddenly felt very drained. The rage of moments ago evaporated entirely. She thought she might faint.

Sarek lowered the PADD and gestured to her with his other hand. ‘Come.’

* * *

 

Amanda hovered between sleep and consciousness. She was comfortable. Nothing ached. The air around her was cool and she didn’t feel the need to pant just to get breath into her lungs.

A deep voice rumbled from somewhere above her head. ‘I have been remiss little princess.’

Sarek.

Yes. Sarek. She felt a very warm body stretched out beside her and felt strong arms wrapped around her. His presence was soothing. Perhaps because of the bond, perhaps because she was an idiot and actually _fond_ of him…

She sighed and let sleep pull at her once more. ‘I did not realise how intolerable Vulcan is for a human not raised here.’ he murmured.

Intolerable. That was right. Terrible place. Hot. impossible to breath. Body felt like brittle lead, heavy and prone to break.

‘I will see to it you are more comfortable.’ he promised. Amanda thought he was telling the truth, felt it through the thing that joined their minds, but she couldn’t trust him. He lied and lied and lied….


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter was awful to write. I wrote it, then lost it, then rewrote it, then found the original again and tried to combine them and in general it just did. not. behave. Thanks to PoorQueequeg and Lamb's Ear for listening to my moaning about the aforementioned woes over the last fortnight and for their suggestions.
> 
> I'm on holidays atm and I'll try to get a another chapter or two out this week to make up for the delay!

He had her moved into a grand suite of rooms near his own. In the private residences.

‘It is a great honour.’ T’Sella, the elder of her two handmaidens, informed her very gravely.

Amanda got the feeling that T’Sella was only pleased because any ‘honour’ done Amanda reflected back favourably upon her.

Beside the older woman T’Fon nodded in agreement, but her expression was far more guarded and wary.

Amanda sighed. ‘It’s _because_ it’s an honour that I’m worried. It won’t please… _anyone._ ’ She picked at her manicure and avoided looking at the stern old Vulcan lady’s face. ‘Bad enough that I’m at court at all.’ she muttered. ‘For Sarek to give me rooms up there…’ Not only would those who found her presence at court offensive be angered; she’d be surrounded by princes and princesses – exactly who she wished to avoid… and she was quite certain they were as eager as she to maintain their distance.

 ‘None would dare judge the Crown Prince.’ T’Sella responded. ‘He answers to none save the Empress herself.’

That was all very well and good for Sarek, but _she_ wasn’t the Crown Prince, they were free to judge and despise _her_ as much as they pleased.  T’Fon bit her lip and Amanda could see that the younger T’Sai agreed with her even if T’Sella did not.

‘You will be much more comfortable there.’ T’Fon said with forced enthusiasm. ‘The Prince had the atmospheric controls adjusted to Terran standards.’

Amanda shifted on her cushion. Her robes were sticking to her flesh uncomfortably and she had the mild headache that she’d suffered near constantly since her arrival on Vulcan. Her handmaiden had a point. The thought of cooler rooms was incredibly tempting.

He’d said he’d make her comfortable… But couldn’t he have just done the same to her current quarters? Amanda glanced around the rooms she’d spent the last few weeks in balefully. They were quite… _tacky_ – exactly how she’d imagined the apartments of a concubine might look - but they were tucked away in a wing occupied by the middling nobility and she felt safely secluded in them.

The smart thing to do would be to refuse Sarek’s offer and insist she remain. He’d no doubt take it as a personal slight, but if she explained her reasons…

Amanda wrung her hands indecisively as her handmaidens listed the other benefits – the size of the apartment, the finer furniture, the superior view… But in truth Amanda cared little for the aesthetics – she would have happily slept in a cellar if it had been cooler than the sweltering temperature the rest of the palace was kept at.

I the end that was what did it. Rooms maintained at something approaching 24˚c was too much for Amanda to resist, disturbing as the prospect of living amidst Princes and Princesses was. T’Sella oversaw the move of her little household – half a dozen servants and slaves and the few chests of personal items Winona had kindly packed and sent on to her from Terra – with transparent enthusiasm.

T’Fon remained more circumspect, but her other servants seemed almost as pleased as T’Sella. It was better to serve a favourite than an outcast she supposed. Of course once she was safely ensconced in her new, lush, _cool_ , rooms, another more obvious reason occurred to her. Her servants and slaves were all much perkier and less… frazzled. The source of their enthusiasm was suddenly obvious.

She felt stupid.

Of _course_ she was not the only one who suffered under the harsh Vulcan climate. The humans and Andorians that served her were just as affected. Amanda felt a wave of guilt at her selfishness for not thinking of them. If she had done so, her decision to move would have been much easier to come to.

In stark contrast to her much livelier servants – her handmaidens both took to wearing additional layers of robes to ward off, what was to them, an uncomfortable chill. Both were far too well-bred to make mention of their discomfort however.

Another small improvement was the décor of her new apartments. As T’Sella had promised, it was far superior to the gaudy boudoir she’d been in. The new rooms were furnished with beautiful Vulcan furniture, all carved wood in dark reds and browns. There were no diaphanous silk hangings, suggestive Orion art works, disturbingly positioned mirrors or overstuffed lounges. They did not instantly scream ‘concubine’ in the way her previous rooms had and Amanda could almost pretend that… she wasn’t sure exactly.

The other major change was that she saw more of the Prince. With her located so conveniently he swiftly developed a habit for appearing at all hours. Amanda was undecided if it was an improvement or not.  She did not miss roaming the palace answering his summons and his company was enjoyable enough… not that she had many other options for social interaction… T’Fon was friendly enough, but she was Vulcan and didn’t really understand Amanda - the only other interaction she’d had with humans was with servants.

‘T’Fon has been teaching you?’ Sarek inquired, pulling her from her introspection.

Amanda nodded as she shifted a warrior piece on the talk-yut board between them. It was their second game of the evening and it had been dragging on, but she could see a way to beat him, if she could keep him unawares for a few more turns…

‘I assumed as much. T’Sella’s style of play is far more predictable.’ the Prince continued. As he spoke he gestured to a servant kneeling off to the side and the woman shuffled forward to refill his cup with the spice-tea he was drinking.

Amanda glanced up at him. ‘Her strategies seem very convoluted to me.’ she disagreed. ‘I rarely best her.’

Sarek waved a hand dismissively. ‘That is just because you are not yet familiar with the standard plays. Once you are you will find her little challenge.’ He moved a piece and Amanda stared at the board and attempted to figure out what _his_ play was. Standard or otherwise, she had no idea.

He spoke again, drawing her attention from the game. ‘Your new quarters are an improvement?’ he asked, glancing about idly.

Amanda realised that she had not actually thanked him, and whatever his ulterior motives might have been, that was impolite. ‘Yes. Very much so.’ she enthused. ‘I am far more comfortable, thank you Sarek.’

He raised a dark eyebrow. ‘And yet you do not sound entirely pleased?’

She blinked. ‘I am very grateful,’ she assured him, ‘It is just that…’ she trailed off, unsure how to express her concern.

Sarek seemed to understand however, either through common sense or some telepathic Vulcan trick of his. ‘You do not like living amidst my noble kin.’ he surmised, his tone in reference to his family not precisely sarcastic, but very close.

Amanda’s mouth twitched in a tiny smile before she smoothed it. ‘Perhaps.’ she admitted.

He waved a hand dismissively. ‘Do not concern yourself with them. They fear me too much to do more than glare, even those who find your presence most repugnant.’ he sounded utterly confidant of that claim. ‘You would have to do something quite extreme to provoke them into action.’ he remarked thoughtfully, his eyes flicking over her and his voice slowing to a teasing drawl. ‘And since you are a very civilised little Terran, I am unconcerned.’

Amanda rolled her eyes and leant over the board to make her next move. She’d nearly managed to manoeuvre her pieces into position to free her emperor. She’d never beaten Sarek before, the prospect appealed to her a great deal. By means of distraction she said ‘So as long as I don’t start behaving like a barbaric human – eating with my hands, wearing my hair loose and cursing in English, they’ll leave me alone?’

Sarek lifted his tea and took a sip. ‘Eingelsu is considered a very satisfying language to curse in.’ he remarked conversationally. ‘Several of the more inventive phrases have become a part of the Vulcan vernacular.’

Amanda raised an eyebrow. ‘Really?’ she suspected he was teasing her.

‘Oh yes. Of course, Klingon and Tellarite are still widely considered the lowest tongues, so it’s doubly wounding to be insulted in either.’ He placed his cup back down and glanced at the game board. ‘Unlike your _English_ ,’ he pronounced the word with an odd accent, ‘- which is seen as somewhat whimsical and prone to mis-interpretation.’

‘ _English?_ ’ Amanda asked in confusion. ‘Compared to Vuhlkansu it’s perfectly straight forward.’

Sarek snorted. It was odd to hear such an undignified utterance from a Prince. ‘That is highly inaccurate. English is confusing in the extreme. It is so unstructured.’

Amanda sniffed. ‘Just because _your_ language is _boring._ ’

Sarek’s eyes snapped up to meet into hers. ‘ _Boring?’_

Amanda nodded. ‘No wonder you resort to Klingon and Tellarite to insult each other. Vulcan tongues are so literal.’ As she spoke she subtly lifted one of her Vulcan warrior pieces and captured one of his alien horde. He glanced down at the board for only a moment however.

‘How typically human,’ he replied airily. ‘You attempt to insult by pointing out a superiority of Vulcan language over your own.’

Amanda sat back on her heels and gave him her full attention, or at least attempted to give that impression. In truth she was focused upon the takl-yut board. Unless he blocked her with his next move, she had a clear shot at victory. ‘Oh? Is that so?’

Sarek nodded. ‘Vulcan languages are structured and literal because as a race we are not prone to inaccuracies and falsehoods, unlike Terrans.’

Amanda ignored the barb. She knew he enjoyed riling her and half his insults were delivered for that precise reason.

He picked up one of his pieces and she consciously forced herself not to look down to try to guess his next move. Instead she pretended to ponder his claim. ‘Perhaps that is true, but personally I think it more a reflection of mass delusion than some sort of inherent racial verity.’

Sarek paused and gave her a look of confusion. ‘Mass delusion?’ he asked sceptically, his piece still in hand.

Amanda nodded serenely. ‘Vulcans tell falsehoods just as often as any other race, they are just unaware of it.’

One of his eyebrows disappeared under his fringe. ‘Please, elaborate.’

He was still holding the playing piece. Amanda tried not to look at it.

‘Just because you think a thing is true does not make it so.’ she replied.

He frowned again. ‘That hardly clarifies your earlier statement.’

‘I thought my meaning quite plain.’ Amanda replied.

Sarek pouted and snapped his piece down on the board, capturing one of her warriors. Precisely the one she’d wanted him to in fact… She smiled in anticipation and leant over the board.

‘You are being exceedingly vague.’ he told her.

Amanda met his eyes briefly then shifted her emperor. ‘Duh-yut!’ she sung out smugly.

Sarek blinked and stared down at the board in apparent disbelief.

Amanda sat back on her cushion and basked in her victory. The incredulous expression on his face was very satisfying. ‘I have bested you Prince Sarek.’ she told him and tried not to smirk too widely.

‘You distracted me.’ he replied petulantly.

She shrugged.

‘It was not fair.’ he insisted.

Amanda smiled at him. ‘It is not against any rule to engage in conversation whilst playing. Therefore, that is an inaccurate statement.’ she told him smugly. ‘A _falsehood_ if you will.’

Sarek glared at her.

She couldn’t help it, she smiled back at him radiantly.

‘You are inordinately pleased with yourself.’ he observed coolly.

‘I have outwitted the Crown Prince, I think it justified.’ she returned.

The look he gave her was one of impatience, but there were advantages to the bond he’d forged between them - she could tell he was more amused than annoyed.

Still smiling, she rose up on her knees and started resetting the board. Usually a rematch would be the last thing on her mind, but after her win she found herself quite eager. Sarek reached forward and stilled her movements, curling warm fingers over her own. Amanda looked up to meet his gaze questioningly.

He tugged at her. ‘Come here silly little Terran.’

Before she was quite sure what was happening Amanda found herself awkwardly sprawled across Sarek’s lap, the playing board knocked over and his tea soaking the carpets somewhere off to his left. His presumptuous behaviour brought a short giggle bubbling out of her before she could smother it. She slapped at him without any rancour. ‘You idiot.’

‘And now you insult me?’ he replied in a falsely wounded tone, ‘Such a deluded, proud little thing you are.’

She could hear the laugh behind his words and frowned a little in confusion despite her good mood. The odd playfulness Sarek on occasion demonstrated still surprised her. It was so at odds with his reputation and that terrible jealous Vulcan temper of his that she’d so often borne witness to. She shook her head to dismiss such thoughs and smirked up at him. ‘Proud and deluded? Clearly I have been spending too much time in _your_ company, your highness.’

His lips twitched in a barely restrained smile and he bent towards her with intent. For a moment Amanda was actually convinced he was going to _tickle_ her or do something equally undignified, but instead he pressed three brief kisses across her brow before straightening. Amanda blinked, her humour fading into shock. Sarek was not one for such small, casual displays of affection. In fact he’d never done such a thing at all.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, a hint of that smile still lingering on his lips. Amanda’s heart did something fluttery and vaguely uncomfortable in her chest and she took a deep breath in a vain attempt to compensate. As if from a distance, she watched her right arm raise, the sleeve of her robe slipping down past her elbow leaving her hand and wrist pale and exposed. Gingerly she pressed her fingertips to his jaw and then curled her fingers to gently brush along the warm skin up towards his ear. Something flittered over his expression and he turned minutely into her touch.

She followed her hand, pulling herself more or less upright.  Their eyes, hers brown and human, his brown and Vulcan, were more or less level. She looked away, focusing her attention instead on where she touched him, her fingers pinkish against the golden-green blush of his skin. They skimmed along his cheekbone, exploring his features with a mind of their own. Index and middle fingers traced the flared line of a dark eyebrow and then were joined by their companions as they carded their way through his hair, shoving his blunt fringe back off his face. He was even more handsome with his hair pushed back, she thought idly as magnetically her eyes were drawn back to his.

They were very close to one another.

Amanda’s heart was racing and she could feel a blush painted across her cheeks. She’d done _far_ more intimate things with Sarek, and yet this felt…

He shifted towards her, pressing his brow lightly to hers. Amanda swallowed thickly. Her mouth opened - she wanted to say something – but she didn’t know what. Instead she tilted her face and pressed a soft kiss just to the right of his mouth. An arm curled around her, a warm hand pressing softly between her shoulder blades, but otherwise Sarek remained motionless.

That odd nervousness still thrumming inside her, Amanda pressed another kiss to his skin – just below his right eye. He blinked and she felt the flutter of his eyelashes. She repeated the action, dropping another timid kiss just below the first.

Fingers crushed against her cheek and he pulled her a little closer. ‘Amanda.’ he said softly. She stilled and pulled back to look at him. Rarely did he call her by her name. He was looking at her with an expression that was somehow both tender and calculating. ‘There is…’ the fingers on her cheek softly stroked her skin and he pursed his lips in thought as he hesitated. ‘I would… share with you.’ he murmured. ‘It is a small thing, a light touch.’ The hand on her face was leaving odd tingly trails across her skin and Amanda felt a sudden spike of fear as she understood his meaning.

‘No!’ she gasped, her body turning cold and brittle in his arms. He wanted to touch her mind again, rob her of her wits and her will. The thought was as abhorrent to her as ever.

He frowned and held her firmly, but the hand on her face slipped back to stroke her hair as he hushed her. ‘Peace little reldai.’ he crooned. ‘You do not understand, it is not always as it has been between us…’ his voice lowered and he looked vaguely guilty. ‘It should not have been so. I wish to show how such a thing should be.’

Amanda licked her lips and tried to analyse what he was saying reasonably. It was difficult though, her previous experiences of Sarek’s telepathy had been terrifying. Him subduing and overwhelming her very mind.

‘No, no.’ he whispered earnestly. ‘Not like that.’

Amanda swallowed. He swiped his thumb across her cheekbone and she felt that odd tingle again. She held her breath. ‘Please. Let me show you.’

She thought he was being sincere, the bond, his expression… It was foolish to trust him, but since they’d arrived on Vulcan, since he’d forged the strange connection between their minds, he’d not hurt her. His behaviour had been… different. Perhaps she could trust him, a little? Apparently she’d thought so a minute ago when she’d been sitting in his lap happily kissing and admiring him.

‘A small thing?’ she repeated. ‘A… light touch?’

He nodded.

‘I…’ Amanda bit her lip and glanced over his shoulder for a moment. ‘Very well.’ she agreed, feeling both relief and defeat at allowing such a thing.

She’s expected him to press his fingers to her temple and cheek at once with that bruising forced he’d used in the past, but instead his breath whooshed out in a long exhalation and he simply cupped her face in warm hands for a moment and sort of crumpled into her. Amanda gripped him in response, shocked at his transparent relief at her agreement. ‘Sarek?’ she asked uncertainly.

He sighed and stroked up along the line of her face. He repeated the motion, his fingers tracing along her cheek and brow, and the tingling sensation pulled a stuttered gasp from her. A strange warm feeling seemed to sink into her from his touch and Amanda found herself moving slightly closer. The arm around her tightened. Their faces were nearly touching. Sarek’s fingers dragged along her cheek and then one slid up higher, to her temple, and pressed a little more firmly into her skin. Amanda felt a hot shock, like static electricity, and then she could feel him. Sarek.

It was nothing like the foggy mindlessness she’d experienced previously. She took a great, gasping, gulp of air just as Sarek let out a strange, soft, groaning noise and slumped forward slightly. Everything was suddenly heightened, her senses doubled up. Her skin buzzed and her blood hummed and the connection she felt to Sarek was deepened. Instead of just sensing them, she could almost _feel_ his emotions as if they were her own. Pleasure and relief and warm drowsy satisfaction thrummed through her. His.

In an attempt to ground herself she twisted her fingers in his hair and let out a startled squeak at the odd echo of the sting against his scalp. Sarek turned his face and the rasp of his slight stubble against her skin made her shiver slightly. Did he feel that then? If she felt… she tugged on his hair once more and felt the little spark of sensation… if she felt _that_ then he must feel…

‘Yes.’ he murmured, his voice low and sleepy sounding. The hand on her back slid up along her spine, Amanda twisting at the odd sensation of feeling the silk of her robe from him, and then he buried a hand in her hair. It was cool and soft beneath his fingers.

When she pressed her palm to his cheek her eyes widened at the depth of his reaction. Her fingers were like a cool brand against his skin. Amanda pulled back a little so she could look at him then continued her gentle explorations of earlier, tracing the lines of his face with her fingers. She had not realised he found her touch just as maddening as she found his. Her fingers were not imbued with psi energy like his, but for the way he tingled and burnt at their passage they might well have been.

Despite the apparent intensity with which he felt, Amanda was still quite unprepared for what she felt at the gentle brush of her fingers along the shell of his ear. A jolt of something warm and _very_ enjoyable jolted through her and Sarek made a strangled moaning noise and arched up straight beneath her.

The soft sleepy warm feelings she’d been feeling were suddenly rather… warmer… and…

Oh. _Oh._

Amanda licked her lips and debated removing her hand from what was clearly a very sensitive part of Sarek’s anatomy, but instead found herself repeating the motion with a little more intent, softly dragging her fingers up around the curve and over the pointed tip. He huffed out a breath and squirmed. Tilting her head to one side and looking at him out of the corners of her eyes, Amanda experimentally stroked his ear like a cat. The tingly warm feeling intensified and Sarek pulled her closer and she became aware of a vibration in his chest. She paused in her ministrations and it ceased. Sarek let out a displeased little grunt and glared at her.

It returned as she traced a nail around his ear and she pressed a hand to his chest in bemused wonderment to feel the deep rumble within. ‘Sarek,’ she whispered, pressing her palm to his cheek. ‘Are you purring?’

Abruptly the vibration ceased. ‘No...’ he murmured.

Amanda narrowed her eyes and pinched the tip of his ear playfully. Sarek jerked and let out a noise that was suspiciously low and rumbly. His fingers shifted and pressed more firmly into her face and instantly her amusement was forgotten. He tugged her towards him and kissed her with even more than his usual ardour. The hot swipe of his tongue across her bottom lip made her shiver and when she opened her mouth to his a heady pulse of desire burst between them, twisting back and forth until she couldn’t tell what she was feeling anymore.  He tasted of heat and copper and the spice tea he’d been drinking, but as he kissed her she could also taste herself, feel the soft warmth of her lips and tongue in an echo of his thoughts. It was strange and wonderful and made her heart skip in her chest. She moaned into his mouth at the intensity and drew herself up, her arms crossing around his neck, just so she could kiss him more deeply.

Amanda could feel exactly how much he wanted her, how the touch of her body and the brush of her thoughts inflamed him, and the sensation was utterly intoxicating. Her body flushed with heat, settling to a steady throb between her thighs. She groaned and twisted in his lap, turning to wrap her legs around him. He hissed and grabbed at her hips, dragging her closer and grinding up against her. The doubled sensation of their bodies pressing against each other washed over her and her back bowed sharply. Sarek pushed her head back a little and kissed and licked down the column of her neck. The scrape of his teeth against her skin and the strange delight he took in marking her in such a way had her moaning again, weakly gasping his name.

Roughly he pulled at her robe, the material sliding over her shoulders to bunch around her elbows, and then he mouthed along the bony line of her collarbone, his tongue hot and wet and his teeth sharp. A whining noise twisted itself out of Amanda’s throat. She could feel a hot, crushing, need that wasn’t her own. She wanted to sink her teeth into him, feel his hot skin give way, taste his blood in her mouth and leave her mark etched deeply into his flesh. Sarek was restraining the urge to give into the same and the violent alien want made her shudder in confused arousal.

Instead she rocked against him and pulled at his hair and then he was kissing her again, teeth catching at her lips and his tongue delving deeply into her mouth. Sarek shoved a hand under her robes and gripped her backside, guiding her body to roll against him with more purpose. Amanda broke from his kiss and gasped at the sensation. Her body ached, her centre hot and swollen, and the feel of him, even through the layers of their clothes, had that heat tensing and coiling tighter inside her.

Weakly she let her head rest against him, sharing little panting breaths in the hot air between their lips. Her cheek tingled beneath his fingers and what she felt through the connection was staggering. Slowly her hips ground out a mindless rhythm between them. How could it feel so good? Just pressing her body to his?  She felt like she might come apart from just that… In fact, she couldn’t bear the thought of pulling herself apart from him to get rid of their clothing… But then Sarek had a hand between them, fingers sliding underneath her underwear. All satisfaction fled her entirely at the first brush of his fingers against her sodden sex. She hadn’t realised how wet she was, but she felt it, felt the soft wet heat of body as Sarek touched her. It was obscene, feeling what he felt, her arousal wet against his fingers and her folds impossible soft and –

Amanda stiffened and whined as he slowly pressed a thick finger into her, the slight stretch more frustrating than satisfying. All self-control evaporated. Him. She wanted _him._ His name was on her lips but he was kissing her again so she just feverishly pulled at his robes. He made a soft growling noise and joined in, yanking at their clothing indiscriminately until there was nothing between them. Amanda bit her lip and rose up on her knees, straddling him, her puddled robes obscuring the alignment of their bodies. The first brush of him, hard and hot, against her made her eyes roll back into her head. She felt it, the throbbing ache of his flesh and it was almost as torturous as the hollow inside her, but then she was sinking down upon him, the wet heat of her body welcoming him in a tight embrace. Her back arched and her mouth parted in a silent scream. Burning lust pulsed through her, from where Sarek’s fingers rested against her face to where his flesh was buried inside her.

Through the mind-touch she felt what Sarek did - the heat and silk of her body as it gripped him, almost as clearly as she felt the hard molten length of him filling her body. For an endless moment she was frozen, panting and clutching at Sarek in disbelief and awe, unable to do more than simply pull ragged breaths into her lungs, and then he pulled her closer, crushing her against him, and reared up on his knees, burying his body even deeper within her. She did scream then, a strangled wail of ecstasy that was almost pained.

The sound went straight though Sarek – and he snarled, his eyes dark and fierce, his face twisted in a grimace of pleasure. He was almost terrifying in his intensity, so markedly _Vulcan,_ but Amanda whimpered in desire just the same. ‘Sarek!’ she gasped desperately, not really know what she was pleading for. It was so much, _too_ much - the mad doubling and reflecting of pleasure rippling between them through the mind touch and their bond. It was a terrible ecstasy and she was half certain it would drive her mad.

They weren’t even moving, just wrapped tightly around one another gasping and panting. Beneath her Sarek shifted again, a slight movement that sent his body grinding against hers and made her shudder and tremble as he pressed against that sensitive nub of flesh nestled amidst her folds. That low rumble was back, vibrating deep in his chest, but Amanda no longer found it amusing in the slightest. Sarek rolled his face against her cheek, stubble rasping against her skin, and kissed her once more as he ground himself into her in little circular motions.

Her body was hot and wet and throbbing and each tiny movement sent a spiralling coil of pleasure through her. The echo of the mind-touch – the velvety grip of her body around Sarek - combined with her own pleasure and it felt impossibly good. Overwhelming. And  then suddenly her body was twisting and pulsing in violent waves of pleasure and Sarek was snarling and those little grinding movements were short jerking thrusts and she felt what he felt, the maddening crush of her sex were it gripped him, the scent of her skin and bright tempting pull of her mind and then his teeth were sinking into the flesh of her shoulder and the pain was somehow perfectly in counter-point to her pleasure and she was screaming and it was… _more_ than she’d ever felt before… and then it was suddenly twice as intense as Sarek followed her in her bliss and the sharp jolts of ecstasy as he spent himself inside her washed through her mind overwhelming what little grip she had on her sanity entirely.

Her senses returned to her slowly over the course of several minutes. Sarek still had his hand pressed to her face, but he was cradling the side of her head gently and she felt only the slightest tingle of his telepathy where his thumb rested against her cheekbone.

For a long moment she was silent, trying to make sense of what had been the most intense experience of her life. It had been… _wonderful_ and… _terrifying._ Was this how is always was between Vulcans?  She could feel how utterly content and satisfied Sarek felt through their bond. Why would a Vulcan ever even consider taking a human for a lover if… _that_ was how they made love?

‘It is… not always like that.’ Sarek murmured into her hair.

Amanda contemplated rearranging herself so she could met his eyes, but could not muster the energy required to move from her position slumped in his arms. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked in a hoarse voice she did not recognise. Perhaps Vulcans did not use their telepathy in such a manner with regularity?

Sarek straightened and rested his chin lightly atop her head. Amanda sighed. She almost felt like she could fall asleep right there in his arms, her robes a mess of silk around her waist, their bodies still intimately joined and sweat drying on her skin. ‘Sharing thoughts in such a manner,’ he told her quietly, ‘… it is only as pleasurable as that which is shared.’

Long after he had left her, Amanda thought on those words.

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

In the weeks following her move, Amanda noted a marked increase in both the types of attention she garnered around court. She was sort out more often by those seeking to win favour with the Prince and the insults and jeers from those who cared little for his opinion grew louder and more open.

Sarek seemed utterly unconcerned by the increasing uproar her continued presence at court and his treatment of her was causing. He was dismissive of her attempts to discuss the 'door incident', waving it off as a side-effect of their bond and telling to think nothing of it, and she couldn't quite find the words to explain her general trepidation and fear… She did not belong on Vulcan.

With Sarek's chambers so close, there was no need for her to venture out into the public areas of the palace, so, she did not. Even so, gossip circulated about her.

One of her human servants asked her if she was a witch or a telepath and if that was why the Prince had bonded to her. Judging from what she gleaned from her Vulcan handmaidens and other servants, she was now considered to be a human telepath. A rare occurrence in a race known to be predominantly psi-null. T'Fon seemed to think this gossip good, since it made the Prince's interest in her more understandable from a Vulcan point of view, so Amanda made no attempt to correct the assumption despite how uneasy it made her.

It was perhaps a useful falsehood… But she knew that she was not telepathic and she was most certainly not a 'witch'. If she'd been one of those, Sarek would have found himself on the receiving end of a dozen curses long ago. His explanation, whilst vague, was accurate. It had been the bond that had caused the… incident. A manifestation of Sarek's mental abilities, not hers. It had been something that had passed through her, not come from within. She'd known that even as it had occurred.

It was a thing long suspected by humans - that the true extent of Vulcan mental abilities went far beyond the little tricks of mind reading they would sometimes demonstrate. They guarded their skills jealously though, and even at T'Pau's court there were few open displays of such talents. That her supposed telekinesis had been so readily accepted was very telling however. Clearly the idea of such powers was not outlandish to them.

There were stories of powerful mind-lords in Vulcan's history, and Amanda suspected that some of those stories were true. Sarek had never spoken to her of his precise abilities, but the strength of his mind was plain to her through their bond. She wondered precisely  _what_ he was capable of, but at the same time she didn't want to know.

She had been on Vulcan from ta'Krat to et'Khior when the Empress sent Sarek away on some business of hers. At first Amanda was almost pleased by his absence, but as the days turned into weeks and she languished alone in her rooms, she found herself missing his somewhat overbearing presence. She told herself this was merely loneliness and boredom rather than true affection for his presence, but the fact remained that she wished he would return.

With his absence her strange dreams returned, but instead of seeing Vulcan in her sleep, she now saw visions of star ships and planets that were alien to her. They both comforted and disturbed her. She would awaken with a strange sense of closeness to Sarek, as if he had just been with her, as if he had left the room a moment before she opened her eyes and was even now just out of sight. That feeling of closeness was something of a curse. Amanda could not decide if it made her miss his company more or less.

She wondered if he dreamt of her? He had told her once that he had… but then he'd also said that Vulcans  _didn't_ dream. Did he miss her? She did not know. He did not make any attempt to contact her, and she had no idea where he was or how she might send word to him or when he would return. No one saw fit to enlighten her. She was ignored.

T'Sella seemed to think it apt she miss him, the old Vulcan T'Sai thought it only proper given how  _lucky_  Amanda was to be the Crown Prince's favourite. T'Fon however made efforts to entertain and distract her mistress rather than wallow along with her in her listless mood.

'You need not fear encountering any members of the Court Reldai.' T'Fon reassured her. 'Only children visit the Library for their studies.'

Amanda frowned. 'You think children's books will amuse me?'

Her handmaiden pursed her lips. 'They are not  _children's_  books, but they are for the most part academic and historical documents. There is little by way of casual diversion.'

That didn't sound particularly exciting, but she supposed what would be boring history to a Vulcan might be new and interesting to a human. 'Very well.' Amanda agreed.

T'Sella approved of the activity, she saw it as a praise-worthy attempt by Amanda to learn more about glorious Vulcan and the Empire and to add to her pitiful human schooling. The library her handmaidens led her too did indeed have a very studious atmosphere. There were ancient paintings on the walls, many quite faded and dusty, and rows of books, scrolls, PADDs and ancient data discs of designs that were completely foreign to Amanda.

She picked up a square plastic thing and regarded T'Fon quizzically. 'That is far older than I Reldai. I know not how to access its data.' She waved a hand towards a computer that was just as strange looking across the room. 'Perhaps that console?'

More out of curiosity with regards to the ancient machine than whatever data might be on the data chip, Amanda approached the device.

It whirred to life as she neared it, the old fashioned screen flicking one with a proximity sensor. The characters on the screen were of a slightly antiquated dialect of Vuhlkansu, but still comprehensible. Amanda prodded the screen. Nothing happened. She glanced around the console looking for an input device… 'How does it…?' she asked vaguely of her companions.

Before either woman could respond there was a loud beep and rudimentary holographic avatar appeared before them.

' _Greetings noble guests. How may this-one be of assistance?'_

Amanda regarded the bluish holograph in surprise. It was a representation of a middle-aged Vulcan woman in strange robes. 'I… would like something to read.' she replied vaguely.

The holographic… librarian? Nodded in a jerky movement.  _'Upon what subject?'_

Amanda thought for a moment. 'A contemporary account of the life of Surak the Great.' she tried. If anywhere held a true accounting of the founder of the Empire, she supposed his descendant's neglected library might well be the place.

Amanda visited the library periodically over the next week, refilling a PADD with fresh books under the librarian's guidance. She learned a great deal about Vulcan history. Sitting in her rooms reading things written a thousand years previously, things she'd certainly never heard spoken of during her own schooling, she felt like she was doing something forbidden. Sarek had not forbade her anything, and it had been T'Fon's suggestion that she even visit the library, but she still felt that as a human she should not be reading such things.

She had known that Surak was had united the V'tosh of Vulcan for the first time, but she had not known that he had in essence  _conquered_ a myriad of lesser kingdoms in a seemingly endless series of wars to do so. The weapons that had been utilised, psionic and neutron alike, were quite fantastic even by modern standards.

* * *

She'd stopped by quite early one morning to get some fresh reading material when she encountered another person in the old library for the first time. Instead of T'Fon or T'Sella, she was accompanied by one of her human servants. It was very early – Vulcans for the most part were engaged in their morning meditation – so she was not in full court dress, just a dress and robe with her hair undone.

Hearing the approach of footsteps she exchanged an alarmed look with her servant, a young human boy who's only real skills were singing in a pretty, childish, falsetto and playing the lute with quite startling proficiency for one so young. She'd bought him along simply because he'd been awake and propriety called for her to be attended, and she'd thought to slip him a PADD to read while T'Sella was not around watching. She regretting not waking a more capable servant.

Feigning disinterest she turned slightly so she could observe the other visitors discretely.

To her surprise it was a very small Vulcan child accompanied by an elderly human servant and an extremely large sehlat. Its head swung to the side and it regarded her with eyes that were a bit too intelligent for her comfort. Amanda balked slightly. They were popular pets upon Vulcan but were, in her opinion, quite terrifying. The boy and the servant held PADD's and were heading with purpose towards the opposite side of the library. The sehlat blinked at Amanda owlishly and then lumbered off after them. Satisfied she was not about to be ambushed, though slightly un-nerved, Amanda turned her attention back to the console she was using. She was looking for information on Vulcan bonds, but there was little in the way of documentation and what she did find was archaic and exceedingly cryptic.

A few minutes had passed when she felt the tingle of awareness that someone was behind her and then there was a tug upon the hem of her robe. With a startled squeak she spun back. Her heart skipped in a panic. The sehlat was crouched down before her, pawing at her robe, sniffing and licking at the cloth. Amanda froze and stared down at its massive furry head in shock and fear. Sehlats were supposedly tame creatures, but they resembled nothing so much as a Terran bears – but worse. They had huge fangs and long claws. It was difficult to convince herself the thing wasn't about to make a snack of her.

Her little servant let out a high pitched scream, dropped the PADD he was holding, and promptly ran for the door. Amanda stared after the boy in shock.

The sehlat ignored him. It was making loud snuffly noises and huffing wetly against Amanda's robe, tugging at the material. The silk was already darkened with slobber. Amanda wrinkled her nose, disgust tempering her fear somewhat.

' _I-Chaya!'_  a childish voice exclaimed, shattering the silence of the library.

The Vulcan boy was hurrying across the hall, his servant jogging behind. The sehlat glanced over its shoulder at its owner and huffed in disinterest before returning to its thorough inspection of Amanda's robe.

The Vulcan boy was frowning fiercely by the time he appeared before her. Fearlessly he twisted a hand in the thick fur over the sehlat's shoulder and tugged. The animal was taller than he. 'I-Chaya! Stop that!' he admonished it sharply.

The big thing ignored him for a few moments more and then shuffled backwards making deeply affronted rumbly noises. Amanda shuddered and took a small step backwards. There was a large damp spot on her robe. Sehlat saliva. She glanced at the thing. Its nose was dripping. Or snot. Carefully she pulled at her robe so the material wouldn't brush against her any more than absolutely necessary.

The boy regarded her curiously, finding her face much more interesting than the horrors his pet had inflicted upon her clothing. 'You are human.' he observed in confusion.

'I… am indeed… young sir.' Amanda replied politely, not sure who exactly she was addressing and the correct protocol for when your dress had been used as a handkerchief/chew toy by someone's sehlat.

The boy frowned slightly. 'I am not a sir, I am a prince.' he corrected her petulantly.

'Forgive me, your highness, I was unaware since we have not been introduced.' she returned, glancing at his human servant for guidance. The boy was no doubt some young cousin of Sarek's.

'I am S'chn T'gai Sybok, son of Sarek, son of Skon.' the little boy piped proudly. 'The Empress is my grandmother.' he added, just in case Amanda had not figured out as much.

_Sybok?_  Amanda had been aware of course that Princess T'Rea had a child with Sarek, but she had imagined him younger - the boy was spoken of a baby rather than the 6 or 7 year old that stood before her. She realised she was staring and forced herself to give him a polite smile. 'Forgive me Prince Sybok, I have heard much of you at court, but I didn't recognise you. I didn't realise you were so big.'

As she had expected, Sybok puffed up with pride. 'I am 7 this Tasmeen.' he told her.

'Only 7?' Amanda asked. 'Surely you are 9 or 10?.'

Sybok visibly preened. It seemed Vulcan boys were not dissimilar to human ones. 'It is understandable you would think that. I am tall for my age.' he replied gravely and glanced up the middle-aged human woman at his side. 'Chella tells me.'

The woman smiled affectionately at him. 'That's right, my prince will grow to be big and strong,' she paused and gestured towards a rack of PADDs, 'And if he works at his studies, clever too.'

The boy ignored her hint and turned back to Amanda. 'You are father's human aren't you?' he asked bluntly. Beside him the sehlat turned in a circle and then curled onto the floor like an enormous dog. Amanda eyed it suspiciously.

'I... I am Princess Amanda of Terra.' she offered by way of response to the boy, managing to tear her eyes from his pet.

Sybok tilted his head. 'Oh. I thought you the human woman father keeps in uncle Silek's old rooms.'

Amanda had not realised the new rooms she lived in had been the dead Prince's. She was uncertain what to make of that – if it was significant or they had simply been empty and convenient. 'I am she.' she replied uncertainly, slightly embarrassed that a child could fluster her so.

The little prince frowned. 'But you are a princess. She is not.'

'I am a _human_  princess, not a Vulcan one. My father is the King of Terra.' she explained.

'Richard Grayson is the King of Terra.' the boy recited.

Amanda smiled. 'That's right. I am Amanda Grayson. He is my father.'

Sybok nodded sagely. 'So you  _are_ a Princess then. That is good. I am not to speak to servants.' he paused and glanced at his attendant again, 'Except for Chella.'

'Come now Prince Sybok, we must collect your study materials before your tutor arrives.' Chella said.

Sybok linked his hands behind his back and turned to face her sharply with a childish scowl on his face. 'But I am speaking to the Princess!' he hissed, eerily reminiscent of his father.

'I must not keep you from your studies Prince Sybok. We may speak again another time.' Amanda added in a vague but placating manner, eager to end the awkward conference and be far from the little prince and his large, fanged, pet.

His attention flicked back to her. 'Why are you here?' he asked. 'No one comes to the library.'

'I am a stranger on Vulcan, there is much I do not know.' she told him. 'So I have been reading.'

'Oh. You are studying Vulcan?' All trace of anger was gone from his voice and he once more exuded simple, childish, curiosity.

Amanda nodded slightly. 'Yes, I suppose I am.'

Sybok inclined his head in a very regal gesture of approval that was rendered slightly absurd owing to his diminutive stature. 'I know all about T'Khasi and V'tosh history.' he said. 'Did you know Empress T'Prell went mad and poisoned half the court?'

Amanda had no idea who Empress T'Prell was, let alone anything about poison and mass murder. She raised an eyebrow and struggled to keep her voice politely even. 'I… must say I did not Prince Sybok.'

'I know many things.' he informed her. His eyes narrowed in another oddly familiar gesture and he gave her a speculative look. 'I could teach you.' he said.

Amanda again looked to his servant for guidance. She had no idea what constituted appropriate interaction with Sarek's son. She didn't know what Sarek's opinion on the matter might be - it wasn't something that they had ever discussed - but she was quite certain his mother would not approve. T'Fon told her that T'Rea was, (understandably),  _displeased_  by her presence at court. Drawing the woman's attention would be pure stupidity. Chella looked nervous. Amanda took this as a warning and signal to extract herself from the conversation.

'I would appreciate that greatly Prince Sybok,' she began, 'but I am sure you are much too busy with your own studies.'

He waved a hand. 'I broke my arm and cannot practise my suss mahna until the bone is fully healed so I must read in the afternoons. It is very boring. I will teach you instead.'

Amanda blinked. 'Ahh, I am not sure that is - '

'Can you play tafl-yut?' he interrupted.

'I… am a novice…' Amanda admitted.

'You cannot be as poor a player as Chella.' the Vulcan boy replied with a pout. 'She  _always_  loses.'

Chella just smiled. 'Come Prince Sybok, it is almost time for your lesson. We must collect your PADDs and return to your rooms.'

Sybok nodded. 'Very well.' He turned to face Amanda. 'I will come and teach you about Empress T'Prell after my lessons. Then we can play tafl-yut.'

Amanda again looked to Chella for guidance. The woman was not of any aid, she just stood wringing her hands together with a vaguely nauseous expression on her face. 'I not sure your father would want you teaching me.' Amanda carefully informed Sybok. At his frown she added 'Perhaps we should wait until he is back at Court and we may ask him?'

'Father likes you. Everyone says. You are a Princess and you live in uncle's old rooms. I often visited him there.' Evidently these facts were reason enough in Sybok's mind for him to visit with her.

Chella was biting her bottom lip, her eyes wide. Amanda held in a sigh. 'Perhaps, if you are not too busy in your studies.' She gave the older woman a meaningful look and hoped Chella understood her unspoken meaning –  _make sure he is too busy._

* * *

Amanda found herself awaiting the arrival of Prince Sybok with more nervousness than if it had been Sarek coming to visit. When midday passed and the sun began to lower in the sky she dared to hope that his attendant Chella had managed to prevent the ill-advised venture.

Sadly she was mistaken.

Sybok and the elderly woman appeared in her rooms mid-afternoon, the Prince acting as if this were an everyday occurrence and not an action liable to bring down the ire of Princess T'Rea, Sarek and for all she knew, the Empress herself. Amanda's heart slumped further when the huge sehlat,  _I-Chaya,_  sulked in after them.

'You have not changed uncle's rooms.' the boy noted.

Amanda glanced around the elegantly furnished chamber. 'I felt no need to, I find them very pleasant.' she replied.

Sybok nodded and stared at her with shameless Vulcan intensity. His sehlat wandered the chamber sniffing things.

Amanda squirmed.

She did not like that a child made her feel so off-kilter. She supposed it was because he was Sarek's son and that was… disturbing. She could not deny the truth of her situation with Sarek's child by another woman, his  _wife_ standing right in front of her. There was a crashing noise as the sehlat's bushy backside knocked over a lamp as it shoved its head under a table. Amanda shot a misgiving look at the creature. Its presence certainly wasn't helping her nerves. For want of something to say, she rather thoughtless blurted to Sybok: 'I knew your uncle Prince Silek a little. He was a friend to my brother Daniel.' The boy looked at her with a strange expression on his face. 'He seemed a very… good… prince.' Amanda finished awkwardly.

'Uncle was a traitor and father had to cut off his head.' Sybok said bluntly. 'He meant to kill the Empress.'

'I…' Amanda floundered. She had a sudden vision of Sarek's hands green with blood and was startled at the intensity. Had she dreamt that? 'Yes, you're right of course.' she agreed. 'Obviously I didn't know him at all.'

Sybok nodded. 'His betrayal surprised me as well.' The boy pointed to the wooden game table. 'He taught me tafl-yut and helped me with my lessons.' After a moment of awkward silence he walked towards the table and knelt upon one of the cushions and began pulling the pieces from their lacquered box.

'Come Princess Amanda, let us play.' he said as he lined up the little figures. 'I will even let you be the Emperor and I will be the alien horde.' he added generously. 'Though if you are as bad as Chella though, I will play one of your ladies instead.'

T'Fon's eyes darted to Amanda's in amusement at the last comment. In contrast, T'Sella, who had stayed later than was her norm just because of the prince's visit, visibly puffed up with pride and excitement, her wrinkled hands clutching at one another.

Amanda crossed the room and sat opposite him, arranging her robes carefully. 'I will endeavour not to disappoint your highness.'

Sybok gave a little nod.

The sehlat meandered over to collapse in a pile nearby, panting and huffing like some sort of furry, fanged, volcano. Sybok gave it a pat. Amanda tried to ignore it.

It was difficult.

She apparently played much better than Chella. Sybok won, but Amanda was able to confuse him on a few occasions and his smug excitement when he figured out her strategies and countered them was amusing. Amanda did not mind losing. Out-thinking a Vulcan, even a child, when it came to logic and strategy was a difficult thing.

After they had played for perhaps an hour, Sybok began 'tutoring her' in Vulcan history. This seemed to involve him telling her quite implausible historical facts about his ancestors and Vulcan. A Prince who'd run away to Orion to become a pirate, an Empress who'd kept seven husbands because she was superstitious and insisted everything be done in that number and particularly a unlikely tale about a princess who'd blown herself up in an ill-advised chemical experiment and destroyed half the palace.

'- and that's why the western wing was rebuilt,' Sybok explained earnestly. 'And why there is a crater in the lower gardens.'

It sounded… almost plausible. Possibly. 'Interesting.' Amanda replied diplomatically. 'I hope you are more careful in your own studies Prince Sybok?'

His face crumpled into a pout. 'Osavensu Vesak does not let me experiment with such volatile compounds.' he informed her morosely. He'd moved from his original position opposite her to kneel on the carpets at her side. T'Sella sat nearby watching avidly, hanging onto every childish proclamation that came from the Prince's mouth avidly. T'Fon was sitting with a PADD beside her. A human servant hovered nearby with a tea service and Chella watched over her charge nervously off by herself, the sehlat curled up at her feet. Every now and then she looked to the door, as if worried at who might appear.

'Is it true that you are a telepath Princess Amanda?' Sybok asked.

Amanda gave him her full attention, surprised by the question. 'Humans are psi-null Prince Sybok.' she reminded him.

'I heard S'haile Sasok tell T'Sai T'Fal that you used telekinesis in father's chambers.'

Amanda could feel everyone in the room staring at her. She wondered how she ought to answer. As T'Fon had implied - being thought of as a telepath had its advantages. Sarek's connection to her was less questioned, but at the same time, she feared it made her seem like more of a threat than she really was. And she did not want anyone, particularly Sybok's mother, feeling threatened by her. Especially while Sarek was off-planet.

'I am  _not_  telepathic Sybok.' she reassured him. 'It was your father's telekinesis.'

He regarded her with narrowed eyes and Amanda realised that he did not believe her. 'Truly Prince Sybok, I have no mental abilities.' she insisted.

The boy twisted his mouth in apparent contemplation then shifted slightly closer. 'Can I check?' he asked, giving her a peculiar look.

Amanda blinked. 'Check?'

Sybok lifted a little hand and gestured towards her temple. 'Osavensu Vesak has taught me the kash-nov.' he told her.

'Kash-nov?' Amanda asked with a frown, although she already had an idea of what he meant.

'Share your thoughts.' Sybok clarified.

Amanda glanced to T'Fon for guidance. The Vulcan woman looked wary but made a small gesture with her left hand indicating acceptance. T'Sella looked excited. She probably wised to share thoughts with the little prince herself. Amanda was not so eager. She didn't fancy Sarek's son snooping around her thoughts. Apart from concern for her own privacy and sanity, she didn't want the little boy to pry into things regarding his father that a child should surely be kept ignorant of.

He was staring up at her in what she thought was suspicion. 'Can you share thoughts with a human?' she asked to stall him, since her own experiences with Sarek seemed to already provide proof in that regard.

'You are father's telsu are you not? It must be possible.' Sybok reasoned.

Amanda thought for a moment, wondering at Sybok's true reason for seeking her out. For all she knew his mother Princess T'Rea had orchestrated the entire thing. Perhaps the entire point was to see if she was a telepath or had designs above her current station. If he reported back to her that she'd refused to prove that she was not a telepath…

'Very well, but remember I'm human not Vulcan, so be careful…' she admonished him nervously.

Sybok nodded and shifted closer. Amanda bent her head towards him so he could reach her face. He seemed excited. Perhaps because she was human?

His fingers were soft, warm and like all children Amanda had ever encountered – mysteriously  _sticky._  He recited a short ritual phrase before he began, something Sarek had never bothered with. Amanda closed her eyes and tried to keep her breathing even. She felt a strange prod, like a discordant note of music in a song. The little…  _tapping_  was so different to the irresistible pull of Sarek's mind that her eyes flicked open in shock. Sybok was frowning slightly in concentration, his white teeth caught on his bottom lip. His eyes caught her's and the prod became and pull and then she felt that odd feeling of connection she'd only ever felt with Sarek.

It was vastly different however. The first time Sarek had touched her mind he'd fogged her thoughts entirely and then lain with her without her real consent - a memory that still pained her. The second he'd ruthlessly shifted through her memories in a jealous rage… Amanda realised that Sybok was privy to her musings and tried to stop thinking of Sarek but evidently like father, like son – Sybok forced the issue.

It was not as strong as Sarek's invasion upon Halkan had been, and there was no anger in the boy's thoughts, just suspicion and curiosity, but Amanda was no telepath and she could not even try to resist. Sybok yanked at her memories of his father and Amanda watched in muted horror as he became privy to her inner most thoughts and memories of Sarek. His cruelty and kindness both. Her confusing feelings for him - affection and desire and fear and lingering hate.

Amanda felt his little hand warm against her face and tried to pull away from him, to sever the connection, but her body was frozen in place. Sybok then pulled at older memories – distant foggy things from long ago. Her brother Daniel and Prince Silek talking and laughing and occasionally deigning to let her join them for a little while despite the fact that they were both over a decade her senior. The blurred figure of her mother, now long dead. Her father glimpsed across the halls of their home on Earth, tall and grey and weary. The slaves in the mines her brother had taken her to, filthy and starving and staring up at her with dead eyes. Silek's favourite, Lady Saskia, wailing and screaming in fear as guards pulled her from her room, the swell of her belly obvious. The top of Daniel's head as she watched him being lead into the Halls of Justice from her window. The sting of tears like acid on her cheeks as she imagined the death that -

Abruptly the connection was severed.

Amanda found herself kneeling on the carpets in her room, her eyes swimming with tears and her breathe burning in her chest. She gasped. T'Fon was bending over her, a hand wrapped around Sybok's skinny arm. 'Prince Sybok!' she snapped at the boy. 'Princess Amanda graciously let you meld with her and you have  _hurt_  her.'

There was something hot and wet on her lip. She lifted a hand and dabbed at the watery substance. Her nose was running. She sniffed to stem the flow and tasted blood in the back of her throat. She glanced at fingers – they were red with blood. Her nose wasn't running, she had a nosebleed. Sybok was staring at her with wide eyes, sniffling pathetically, and T'Fon looked almost as disturbed. Red blood would be quite shocking to them Amanda distantly supposed.

Her robes twisted around her legs as she awkwardly got to her feet. She took a step, meaning to head towards the bathroom to tidy up, but everything tilted and her vision dimmed with a wave of dizziness. Her ankle twisted, she stumbled and the harsh gravity of Vulcan did the rest, bringing her down to sprawl across the floor.

T'Sella appeared above her and passed her a cloth to press to her nose. 'Reldai? Are you unwell?' she asked in a wavering voice.

Amanda resisted the urge to snap at the old woman. Or yell.

Of course she was  _unwell._

_Vulcans._

Even their  _children_ were apparently not to be trusted.

Sybok had just scrambled up her brain with even more abandon than his father. Sarek had never given her a _nosebleed._

Gritting her teeth she took a slow breath and managed to respond with 'I don't know, do people usually bleed after a kash-nov?' with only acidic sarcasm as opposed to obvious rage.

She closed her eyes for a moment and waited for the world to stop spinning. Her tears cooled and her breath eased. Sybok was speaking rapidly to T'Fon, his voice tearful. She was both angry and worried for the boy. He'd just recklessly endangered her very mind, searched through her memories without her permission, but she'd certainly hadn't wished for him to know how cruel his father could be…

Suddenly he was kneeling beside her. 'I am sorry Reldai Amanda!' he wailed. 'I did not mean to hurt you. Are you dying?' Behind him was the great brown shape of the sehlat. Amanda did not feel like dealing with either of them. 'You must not die, father will not forgive me!'

Slowly she closed her eyes. Opened them. The dizziness was passing. She did not _feel_  like she was dying. She felt the sort of light-headedness she might suffer if she hadn't eaten anything in a day or so. And she had a headache. Sybok was staring at her in transparent fear. It was strange to see such an expression upon a Vulcan face – compassion for a human. Her anger at him drained slightly. He was only a child.

'No Sybok. I'm not dying.' she informed him with a sigh.

'I am sorry!' he repeated. 'I did not know the kash-nov would injure you.' His face was blotchy and flushed green. He sniffed loudly. He wasn't crying but he was doing something close. The sehlat was making a low gumbly noise and batting its big head against his leg. It appeared to be picking up on his distress.

'I am aware it was not your intention to hurt me. Apologise instead for invading thoughts you  _know_  I did not wish to share.' Amanda replied.

He nodded jerkily and swallowed. 'I apologise Reldai.' he said earnestly. 'But I had to know.'

'Know what?' Amanda asked irritably as T'Fon helped her to a more dignified sitting position.

'It is said that your brother Daniel of Terra was telepathic too – that he tricked uncle Silek into betraying honoured-grandmother. Mother said –  _I thought -_ that you were using the same trick upon father.'

Amanda sighed and processed his bizarre claim. Carefully she pressed the cloth to her nose and tilted her head back, ignoring the metallic tickle of blood down her throat. 'And are you now satisfied that I am not?' Her voice came out comically nasal, but no one laughed.

'Yes Reldai. Sorry Reldai.' Sybok replied with a meekness greatly at odds with his previous behaviour.

Amanda pursed her lips. He looked so completely pitiful that she was tempted to forgive him already. 'I think it best you leave now Sybok.' she told him not unkindly.

He nodded and met her eyes nervously. 'Perhaps I could come again tomorrow?'

Amanda raised an eyebrow in disbelief. The sehlat had stopped its whining and Sybok scratched its head absently. 'We could play more tafl-yut?' he suggested.

She found she could not dismiss him entirely. 'Perhaps.' she agreed half-heartedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect another chapter this weekend. x


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Lamb's Ear and PoorQueequeg for reading over my ramblings and giving me suggestions etc, and thank you to everyone who's reviewed or pm'ed me asking about this fic. I had most of this written like, 2 months ago, but I've just been buuuusy. Going to pull my finger out and try and have it all posted and finished before my mid-year uni break is over however. I've felt exceedingly guilty leaving my fics incomplete so long...
> 
> warnings: mild coercion, but nothing particularly offensive here. First part of this chapter is kinda dry even, but rest assured the last part of this fic has lots of angst, fighting and banging and all that other gud stuff.

 

Sybok did not come the next day, but he came the day after.

The boy dismissed the nature of their last encounter with the tactless ease of a child and behaved as if nothing had changed between them. Amanda found she couldn’t forgive and forget so quickly, but she had little choice in the matter. Thankfully, although the child was spoilt and proud to an irritating degree, he was not _completely_ tiresome. His was not company she would have sought out if given a choice, but it made a change from long days spent with only T’Fon and T’Sella at least.

Amanda remained on guard, but the Prince seemed to have no ulterior motives. There was no more talk of mind melds, human witchcraft or any reference to his previous, disastrous, visit. Instead he asked her about Terra and the other planets she’d visited. He did not stay long, but when he left he exchanged a loaded look with his servant Chella and ponderously informed Amanda that he would return. Amanda sensed that she was expected to be honoured and enthusiastic at this prospect – T’Sella certainly was - and feigned the appropriate delight.

He did not come every day, but he visited her with some regularity. They would play tafl-yut and other Vulcan games, T’Fon and Chella on occasion sitting in, and Amanda taught him some Terran pastimes. He enjoyed chess and some terran card games, especially those that involved gambling. He was very good at them - Amanda suspected he was counting cards.

Maintaining a conversation with him was exceedingly simple because the boy was never silent. It was little effort upon Amanda’s behalf to keep him entertained. Her very presence – her humanity - seemed to fascinate him. He would ask seemingly random and often absurd things of her – _are humans born in litters? -_ and spoke on a wide range of subjects ranging from gossip overheard around court to what his tutors were currently teaching him. Despite his youth his decidedly informal ‘tutelage’ of her did actually improve her knowledge of the Imperial court and Vulcan at large.

She learnt many odd tidbits of information via his unguarded conversation; the Empress was allergic to plo’meek. Sybok did not live with his mother but in his own apartment with his own servants. He received psionic training three times a week, suss mahna training every afternoon and music lessons twice a week. He did not share his father’s fondness for the ka’athyra – he thought it boring. She had not known Sarek played the lute. She tried to imagine him plucking at the delicate stringed instrument and found she could not.

Although he was exhausting, full of restless energy, Amanda came to take a small measure of enjoyment from his company. And apart from the gossip he shared with her, he also spoke of far more interesting things, things she could not ask her handmaidens about. Sybok took great interest in the goings on of the Imperial Fleet and his father and Amanda found herself surprisingly well informed. For the first time since she had left Earth, she knew what was happened outside the gilded cage of the Empress’s court.

It appeared the rebellion had not been crushed quite as completely as had been thought. Sybok spoke of skirmishes deep within Imperial space, of alliances between the exiles of the Klingon Empire and Imperial rebels – Terran, Orion and Andorian alike. High ranking Imperials were being assassinated and kidnapped. Terrorist attacks in Imperial cities and colonies were becoming prevalent once more. There had even been battles, events which Sybok took great delight recounting for Amanda. A group of rebels had been cornered and defeated amidst the ruins of Tellar Prime and his re-enactment of what was being called ‘The Second Battle of Tellar’ showed an unlikely dramatic flair.

He made no further attempts at touching her with his telepathy and all in all Amanda found herself pitying the boy. She got the impression that he was lonely. Chella and I-Chaya were constantly at his side but she never saw him with other children or heard him speak of friends or companions. She knew herself how lonely it could be to be a prince or princess, but she’d always had ample playmates as a child. Her cousin first and foremost, but also the children of her father’s high ranked officials.

Sybok had no such companions and for some reason did not seem to spend time with any of his relations. Amanda knew that the Empress had many cousins and most lived in the palace. She spied them from her windows and on her rare excursions from her rooms. There was no shortage of richly dressed young princes and princesses of lesser rank. It seemed odd that Sybok was not surrounded by cousins vying for the favour of the Crown Prince’s heir. In a human court that would certainly have been the case.

But for all that she pitied him she remained suspicious of his attentions. Sybok’s interest in her seemed odd given his apparent disinterest in everyone else at court, and she remembered very clearly what he had said of T’Rea. She was the one that had spoken to him of Terran witchcraft. Amanda found herself wondering if Sybok’s mother was orchestrating the entire situation as a means to keep tabs upon her, if Sybok had returned to her and told her all he’d seen inside her mind. The thought made her blood run cold.

But T’Fon and T’Sella seemed unperturbed and even pleased by his interest in Amanda, so she let her fears lie. Weeks passed and she nearly forgot her fear of T’Rea and her connection to Sybok. The time lulled her into a false sense of security. She was so unprepared for confrontation with Sarek’s wife that the first passed by unnoticed.

She was walking through the private rooftop gardens with a servant one evening, enjoying what passed for the twilight chill in Shi’Kahr, (a heat barely tolerable for a human), when they encountered an ornately dressed Vulcan T’Sai and her entourage. Amanda respectfully stepped aside for her and offered a demurely bowed head as the woman passed.

Her servant likewise genuflected and the woman and her companions moved on in silence.

They were some meters along the path when the woman made a mocking comment about alien whores, but Amanda did not particularly care and thought little of it. It was not the first such insult directed at her.

Several days later she again encountered the same Vulcan woman, but this time Amanda was accompanied by T’Fon, not a servant, and her handmaiden let out a low moan of dismay when she caught sight of her.

The Vulcan woman addressed Amanda, voice raised to carry. ‘You there. Human.’

Amanda blinked and turned her attention to the T’Sai. Belatedly she noted that the woman was far more richly dressed than any woman of the court she had ever encountered. ‘Yes… _Reldai_?’ she hazarded, assuming she spoke to a Princess and not a Lady.

‘Your kind should not mix with ours.’ she was coldly informed. The Reldai’s companions alternately smirked at one another or sneered at Amanda.

Amanda held in a sigh. She was so accustomed to such comments that they were more tiring than insulting. Instead of replying she simply waited for the woman to continue. It would end quicker that way.

‘You are inferior. Weak of mind, weak of body and weak of spirit.’ the Princess said, her voice rising in bitterness. ‘It is shameful that Prince Sarek should debase himself in your company.’

Still Amanda remained silent. She wasn’t about to be goaded into a screaming match or give the woman excuse to do more than just insult her.

The Princess’s eyes narrowed. She had a very cold, Vulcan beauty about her, all dark hair and sharp angles. Her eyes glittered. They would have been lovely if they hadn’t held such malice. ‘I will not allow you to likewise taint my son.’

Amanda’s eyes widened slightly as she realised who the woman was. T’Rea. Sarek’s _wife._ Panic finally settled over her. She didn’t know what to do. To defend herself or anger the woman further would be insanity, but she could think of no way to placate her. ‘I have never sought out Prince Sybok’s company…’ she offered meekly.

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. T’Rea sneered at her. ‘You imply that _he_ , a Prince of Vulcan, instead seeks out _your_ company human?’

Blood rushed to her face and Amanda was very much aware of how silent the garden was, of how completely the attentions of the milling lords and ladies of Vulcan were focused upon her and the Princess. She sought some suitable nicety. If she talked back to T’Rea, insulted or embarrassed her – well. Sarek was not around to protect her. If he’d even feel so inclined… ‘The Prince is… merely curious of the alien.’ she replied haltingly.

T’Rea’s lips pursed slightly but she did not interrupt.

‘He is a clever and inquisitive child.’ Amanda continued, hoping the compliment would appease the woman.

Apparently it did not.

‘Humans abound in this Court.’ T’Rea snapped in disgust. ‘If Sybok has curiosity of alien races, he need look no further than his slaves for illumination.’ Her eyes flicked over Amanda and her face twisted up in disgust. ‘I will not allow him to emulate his father’s repulsive behaviour. Such association is beneath him.’

Amanda stared back at the irate woman in shock. She was honestly struck into silence. How could she respond to such a thing? Anger twisted in her stomach, but she knew she could not indulge it. It would be suicide to tell T’Rea what she _truly_ thought, that she was a pathetic, ignorant, cruel and _stupid_ woman unworthy to be Princess of a _swamp_ , let alone an empire. It was difficult, but she shoved down her very human desire to lash out and forced herself to reply diplomatically.

‘I understand Princess.’ she said soothingly even as her nails dug into her palms and her heart thundered. ‘I am certain in future Sybok will be more circumspect in choosing his company.’

T’Rea scoffed. Before further insult could be made and the confrontation drawn out, Amanda made a deep, respectful bow towards the Princess and then turned and walked stiffly in the opposite direction. For several long heartbeats there was silence and an itch between her shoulder blades. Amanda tensed, half expecting some sort of attack, a knife hurled at her back, a disrupter shot, a stone, but then there was a titter of laughter followed by indistinct murmuring and the spell was broken.

Beside her T’Fon looked terrified. For several long minutes they walked in silence.

‘She will not take further offence at anything I said will she?’ Amanda whispered to her when they were some distance gone.

T’Fon frowned. ‘I do not believe so, you were admirably restrained and respectful. So long as the prince ceases visiting you, I do not think she will take any action.’

Amanda let out a relieved sigh.

‘She only said such things at all because Prince Sarek is not at Court.’ T’Fon continued scathingly. ‘There is no love lost between them. All know Sybok is the only reason she remains his consort.’

‘Sybok?’ Amanda prompted. She knew nothing of the history between Sarek and his wife, only that it was an arranged marriage and that he did not appear overly fond of the woman. Hardly an unusual circumstance for a Prince however.

T’Fon glanced about nervously before continuing her gossip in a low rapid whisper. ‘T’Rea is a third-cousin to Prince Sarek. A T’Sai of high rank, but not a Reldai in her own right. She served in the Empress’s houshold and Sarek had need of her during…’ she trailed of awkwardly, suddenly refusing to meet Amanda’s eyes.

‘During?’ she prompted.

T’Fon licked her lips and shot an odd look at her before replying. ‘It is not spoken of.’ Amanda frowned and her handmaiden gave her a speculative look. ‘Though perhaps it is something you will require knowledge of.’ Her eyes narrowed and she was silent for a long moment before continuing. ‘But not now. Just know that T’Rea was not chosen by Sarek _or_ the Empress to be his consort. She was a convenience. It was only when she produced an heir that the Empress had them wed.’

Amanda digested that little scandal. The grand Princess T’Rea had been a _convenience._ She could not quite keep the mean spirited smirk off her face.

‘She is a proud woman and will guard her position at court jealously.’ T’Fon continued. ‘It was wise not to anger her.’

 

* * *

 

Sarek had been gone for six weeks, an eternity, when finally he returned to Shi’Kahr. Amanda did not hear of it via official channels - she awoke one night and felt him calling her with a strength she’d not felt before.

She pulled a robe on over her slip and made her way in a barefooted dash where the compulsion led her. She recognised the hallway leading towards his apartment. From her new quarters it was not such a long way. But to her surprise she felt tugged not to his door but further on, up a lift and then… she found herself standing on a hanger deck built high into the building. There were a few servants and slaves milling around doing… whatever it was they did. Amanda felt very out of place and slightly ridiculous standing barefoot and half-dressed on the platform. She studiously avoided the curious looks she garnered.

She’d not been there more than five minutes before the force field guarding the wide entrance flickered off and a shuttle approached and landed.

Sarek emerged with a several S’haile in tow. In the weeks since she’d seen him last she’d somehow forgotten precisely how handsome he was. Dark eyes sought her out unerringly and she felt his smug pleasure at her presence zap between them like a static charge. Suddenly the pull was as irresistible as gravity. Amanda dashed across the hard deck as quickly as a sleepy human subjected to 1.4g could. Sarek opened his arms and she crashed into him with abandon. He murmured her name and then shoved a hand in her hair and kissed her. Her body melted into soft curves against him. The familiar smell of him and the warm heat of his body sent desire tingling along her veins. She had missed him. His company. His touch. She did not bother pretending otherwise.

Much later as she lay pleasantly exhausted beside him in her bed, (he had gallantly made the suggestion in deference to her comfort), she dropped a kiss to his brow and informed him as much. ‘I think I may have missed you Prince Sarek.’

He smiled with his typical conceit, but she found it amused rather than annoyed her for a change. ‘I am certain you did my little princess. I have thought of you often.’ His voice dropped and Amanda suspected he was about to tease her. ‘I imagine you have been pining away in _longing_ for my return…’ He sighed. ‘Dreaming of me undoubtedly. My poor little Amanda, all alone with no handsome Prince to keep her warm at night.’

Amanda raised an eyebrow and ignored the more ridiculous parts of his statement. ‘Warm?’ she asked, ‘The last thing I want is to be kept _warm_ at night. Your precious Vulcan is a giant _desert_ Prince Sarek. _’_

Sarek twisted towards her, his eyes narrowed sceptically. He made a gesture towards the mussed bedding. ‘You have no less than three blankets on your bed.’ he pointed out. Amanda noted that the Prince was buried under all of them. ‘It is intolerably cold in your chambers Amanda of Terra.’

‘Oh dear, are you catching a chill my prince?’ she inquired with great concern. ‘Shall I fetch you another?’

The Prince regarded her intently for a moment and then lunged at her. Amanda squealed and made half-hearted attempts to dislodge him, but he wrapped strong arms around her and she found herself pined amidst the (four) blankets quite securely. ‘Ah.’ he said. ‘That is much better.’

Amanda huffed.

Sarek buried his face into the crook of her neck and hummed against her skin. His stubble prickled her in a way that was not entirely unpleasant. ‘You are much warmer than a blanket reldai.’ he murmured against her skin.

She felt him half-hard again against her thigh and the sensation sent an answering twinge of heat through her own body. He lifted his head and looked down at her with that dark, hooded look that made her squirm and blush. Blunt fingers brushed along her cheek in a gentle caress, tingles of awareness dragged across her skin in their wake. She answered the question she knew he asked, surprised to find herself almost eager for that most intimate of touches. ‘Yes.’

He inhaled sharply through his nose, his expression one of fierce longing. His fingers shifted and then he was _there_ touching her with more than just flesh and Amanda sighed at the heat of him.

Her eyes rolled in her head, her body stretching beneath him, every place their bodies touched magnified and mirrored back between them. Hot and cool, soft and hard. Anger, fear, shame – there was no room for such thoughts when her mind was wrapped up in Sarek’s very _want_ of her _._ It was simple and consuming and it felt so very good, so right, that all her fears and worries seemed burnt away by it. She clutched at him, digging fingers into the hard heat of his shoulder, pulling him closer.

Sarek stared down at her, eyes so close that meeting them was almost uncomfortable, his breath hot across her skin. The hard, heavy, shape of him was tense above her and threatening in only the most wonderful way. This was not wrong.

Sarek rubbed against her like a cat, his mouth skimming along the line of her jaw and a needy little noise escaped her. She could taste her want of him in the back of her throat.

‘Mine. You are mine.’ he muttered into her skin and it was not a question so she offered no answer. Instead she bent her knees, cradling him between her thighs in welcome.

 

* * *

 

Unusually – Amanda awoke before Sarek. She spent several minutes in idle inspection of him – his face relaxed in sleep, that near-permanent, fierce Vulcan scowl of his smoothed from his brows – before she arose to wash and dress.

In obvious deference to his presence, T’Sella had laid out one of her finest robes and the breakfast that awaited her in was far more elaborate than that she was usually served. Amanda ate and then went about her day, attempting to ignore Sarek’s silent presence in her bedchamber. The closed door nagged at her attention however. It really was unusual for him to sleep so late. But then she did not know of his journey to Vulcan, or what he had been doing while he was away. Perhaps he had not slept for some time and was merely catching up. Thoughts of the rebellion Sybok had spoken of with such childish excitement returned to her. Perhaps Sarek had been _fighting._ His son had seemed delighted to think so.

_‘crushing the rebellion’_  he’d proudly proclaimed.

Unease and vague nauseousness accompanied the thought. Before she could stop herself she thought back on the evening before, trying to recall if he’d born any fresh scars or injury. The thought of the Prince injured was just as unsettling as thinking on the fate that awaited those poor souls he fought. Rebels like her brother. Amanda forcibly pushed such thoughts away. The conflicting guilt and fear were too much for her to make sense of.

It was almost midday when the Prince awoke. Amanda felt it the instant he did so. A sharp summons jerked at her consciousness and she was on her feet like a marionette before she had time to give it further thought. A few steps across the room and irritation that he would call for her in such a manner when he was merely in the next room, had her resisting the pull. Instead she swayed awkwardly in front of the couch she’d been sitting upon.

‘Reldai?’ T’Sella inquired in confusion.

Amanda waved her interest away with a dismissive hand.

The doors to her bedchamber opened and blew back against the walls with a crack. She started at the noise and a scandalised squeak of shock escaped her when she saw the cause. Sarek strode across the room towards her, glaring fiercely and apparently utterly uncaring of the fact that he was completely naked.

T’Sella gasped, a servant dropped something that broke with a porcelain crash and Amanda’s cheeks burned in a raging blush. ‘Sarek!’ she screeched, her eyes bugging out as she took a hasty step back away from the angry, naked – her eyes darted downwards – _aroused_ , Vulcan Prince stalking towards her.

He made no response beyond a sneering sort of grimace that exposed white teeth. The back of Amanda’s knees bumped into something - the couch she’d been sitting on - and her progress was halted. She raised her hands in a ridiculous gesture, as if to ward off Sarek’s advance, and then he had his hands on her. A warm calloused palm wrapped around the back of her neck and pulled at her too roughly. She opened her mouth to yell or hiss or ask him what the hell he was doing – but all she managed was a wordless ‘Ugh –‘ before he was kissing her.

Amanda had come to terms with the fact that she liked kissing Sarek. Her situation was complicated, but he was handsome and confusing and whatever else there was between them, that she was his lover, that she desired and enjoyed him, was not something she was in any position to deny. She did _not_ however, have any desire to kiss him in front of her maids and servants, especially when he was _naked_ and apparently _insane._

She twisted her head and closed her mouth, forced to bite his lip in the process. He hissed in approval and yanked her face to the side before proceeding to enthusiastically suck a bruise below her jaw.

‘Sarek! Stop it! What are you _doing?!’_ she hissed, slapping ineffectually at his bare chest and squirming in his grasp.

He ignored her, silent save a low rumble. Amanda glanced around the room over his shoulder, both pleased and horrified to see her servants all beating a hasty retreat. She was watching the bright silk of T’Sella’s painted robe disappear through the doorway when she felt Sarek’s fingers against her temple. A gasp of shock and dismay lodged in her throat but she had no chance to voice it. The moment his touch settled upon her face it his thoughts joined to hers with a magnetic attraction. Something shifted inside her and washed over her body in a roaring wave. Heat - pure lust consumed all reason. Her angry gasp turned into an encouraging moan and pushing hands were suddenly pulling.

His kisses tasted like copper, like green, and she liked it. When he tore at her pretty robe and shoved her to the ground, hands rough and bruising on her body, she liked that too. And when he entered her too fast, too hard, it burnt and stung and ached in a way that she liked even more.

 

* * *

 

Amanda awoke cocooned in a nest of torn silk.

T’Fon knelt over her, the expression on her face one Amanda had not seen before. Lifting her head Amanda was relieved to find they were alone.

‘Reldai.’ T’Fon greeted her gently.

Amanda croaked something unintelligible in response. Her throat hurt. Gingerly she sat up and looked about herself as if the room would explain her current predicament. Clearing her throat she spoke again. ‘What…?’ she didn’t know how to phrase the question in her mind.

T’Fon frowned and pursed her lips, but instead of offering enlightenment, offered a glass of water.

Amanda sipped carefully, her thoughts rearranging themselves. The water gone, T’Fon helped her to her feet and wrapped her in a robe. Her body ached. The short walk to the bathroom was taxing but she followed limply where her handmaiden led.

She bathed and stared down at the bruises on her skin numbly. She recalled the instances of their creation, her own enthusiasm at the time. It was different to the last time Sarek had used his telepathy upon her for such a purpose. The first time, back on Earth so long ago, had been like floating in a cloud. Like eating too much spiced Orion food. A heady vague numbness. The second, after Halkan… Sarek had been angry at her would-be betrayal, but he had not _hurt_ her, not left her so battered. And that same drugged-out vagueness fogged her memories of that incident so it seemed half a dream.

This was much worse. She remembered everything in terrible, _vivid_ detail, and worse of all, she did not understand. As much as she’d hated him for what he’d done previously, she had at least understood _why._ Or not why, but what had triggered his deplorable behaviour. On Earth she’d taunted him, goaded him, behaved hysterically. On Halkan she’d sought to marry George Kirk behind his back. To his twisted Vulcan thinking – she’d betrayed him. But she’d done _nothing._ _Nothing._ To inspire him to break his promise yet again.

Tears burnt in her eyes. She’d _missed_ him. She’d been _happy_ when he returned. She’d welcomed him with open arms and kisses and let him touch her mind when they made love. And hours later he’d… Her chest heaved with a painful dry sob. Amanda felt very stupid. Why on Earth had she trusted him? It was obvious he would never understand her, never truly treat her as an equal. She would always be some pretty alien toy to him. Why else would he treat her this way?

T’Fon sighed and squeezed her shoulder in an affectionate gesture. Amanda looked up and met her gaze.

‘He _promised._ ’ she sniffed, as if T’Fon would know what she was talking about.

Her handmaiden frowned, but gave her shoulder another squeeze and passed her a soft, wrung-out wash cloth in what was clearly meant to be a comforting gesture. Amanda obligingly dabbed at her eyes with it – pointlessly - she was sitting a bath and wet all over afterall.

‘He broke his promise _again._ ’ she continued pathetically, twisting the cloth between her fists. ‘And I didn’t _do_ anything. I was good. _Why?_ ’

T’Fon chewed on her bottom lip. ‘It is not as you think Reldai.’ she offered at length. ‘Prince Sarek…’ she trailed off. Amanda sat morosely and didn’t bother to ask her to continue. There was no excuse T’Fon could offer that would satisfy her. She was done forgiving Sarek of Vulcan.

‘You recall what I told you of Reldai T’Rea?’ T’Fon asked after a minute of silence.

Amanda nodded vaguely.

‘The Prince is not himself.’ T’Fon said. She had picked up a little bottle of scented bathing oil and was giving it her undivided attention as she spoke, turning it in her hands. ‘You did not _do_ anything. He is not angry with you.’

Amanda frowned. ‘Then _why_? What is –‘

T’Fon raised a hand to silence her questions but only met her eyes briefly before continuing her inspection of the bath oil. ‘The Prince was most displeased to have caused you injury. He was quite wroth with T’Sella for leaving you with him in such a state.’

A dozen questions beat at Amanda. What was wrong with Sarek? Was he mad? Was this some fit of rage he was prone to? Did he _really_ care that he’d hurt her? Where was he?

‘The fact that he did not remain is proof that he does not wish you injury Princess.’ T’Fon continued in her halting, awkward explanation.

‘What’s wrong with him?’ she asked. ‘What is this “state” he is in?’

T’Fon bit her lip and blushed a soft green. ‘It is not spoken of.’ she replied. ‘The Prince will be himself again with a week.’

Amanda frowned. ‘That is no answer.’ T’Fon gave her a vaguely apologetic look but offered nothing further. ‘Surely as the Prince’s Bonded Concubine I deserve an explanation?’

Actually – Amanda had no idea of any sort of rights she might have with regards to the Prince, but it was worth a shot.

T’Fon looked up from the bath oil and sighed. It was a very un-Vulcan gesture. ‘I… I agree. It is something you should know, especially since it clearly affects you. But I cannot simply tell you. It is not spoken of.’

Amanda closed her eyes for a long moment and reined in her frustration. ‘If it is not spoken of, then how do you know of it?’

‘When a Vulcan comes of age we are instructed in such matters by our parents via kash-nov.’

A coil of dread twisted in Amanda’s stomach and her temple throbbed. Of course. _Kash-nov_. It was _always_ kash-nov. She sighed. ‘So I must meld with you if I want an explanation?’ she asked wearily.

T’Fon gave her an apologetic little smile. ‘I realise you have had unpleasant experiences, but I assure you I will cause you no discomfort if you wish to share in my knowledge upon the matter.’

Amanda stared down at the cooling bathwater, scooped up a few soap bubbles and let them pop in her palm. She trusted T’Fon. And really – what was the worse that could happen? What could T’Fon do that would be worse than Sybok’s blundering or Sarek’s coercion? She sat back and gave T’Fon a nod. ‘Fine.’ she muttered.

T’Fon gave her a tiny smile. ‘Do not fear Princess. There will be no nose-bleeds or prying.’ She put down the little bottle of bath oil and reached towards her.

Amanda looked at her Handmaiden’s golden be-ringed fingers and tried to find her words reassuring.

‘Truly, I need only impart knowledge to you, I will not touch your own thoughts.’ T’Fon continued. ‘It will be quite dissimilar to that indignity that Prince Sybok subjected you to.’

‘I still don’t understand why you can’t just _tell_ me.’ Amanda insisted.

T’Fon pursed her lips. ‘You will understand in a moment.’ Her hand lifted and she lightly pressed her fingers to Amanda’s face, her fingertips spread across her cheekbone and temple.

Amanda sighed again.

She was heartily sick of Vulcan telepathy.

T’Fon whispered a chant in old Vulcan and then Amanda felt the warm tendril of connection twist into life between them. T’Fon was correct – it was nothing like Sybok’s crude thrashings, or even Sarek’s most gentle caress. It was a tiny thing and almost… _nice._ Friendly? A bit like… holding hands.

Amanda was jarred from her introspection by a tug instead of a push. T’Fon was pulling her gently outwards. Across. There was no accurate words for it. Her thoughts slipped across the bridge between their minds and in a sudden burst of intense feelings and memory, Amanda suddenly _knew._

T’Fon gently pulled her fingers from her face and Amanda stared across at her in shock. Her face was molten with a burning blush. T’Fon’s cheeks were likewise stained green and Amanda could tell she was embarrassed. Not that Amanda blamed her. T’Fon had just… explained… Amanda’s thoughts reeled. _Pon farr._ T’Fon had shown her it in a brief torrent of memories – her own. T’Fon’s experiences with Pon Farr with her bondmate. Her husband.

Amanda cleared her throat. All the stigma and secrecy attached to the time of mating had come along with her handmaiden’s memories, and she was suddenly mortified by her own curiosity into the matter – despite the circumstances. ‘Thank you.’ she offered weakly. ‘For sharing that. I see now why you could not speak of it… but yes…’ she swallowed. ‘I… understand now. Thank you.’

T’Fon nodded sharply. ‘No thanks are necessary Reldai. I only regret I did not share this with you earlier. I had thought to, when we spoke of Reldai T’Rea, but…’ she trailed off in a very unvulcan fashion.

Amanda blinked. _T’Rea._ She gasped in understanding. ‘T’Rea served Sarek in his _time?_ ’

T’Fon nodded.

‘She was one of the Empress’s ladies?’ Amanda asked.

‘A maid in her household. A T’Sai of middling birth.’ T’Fon replied.

For a few moments Amanda was distracted from her own situation by petty enjoyment of T’Rea’s.

A thought occurred to her. ‘Why didn’t Sarek go to T’Rea? _’_ she whispered, uncomfortable speaking further on the matter but longing for reassurance.

T’Fon gave her a look that was speculative. ‘He did not _choose_ T’Rea, not as he chose you. It is you,’ her voice lowered and her head dipped towards Amanda’s as she spoke of such things, ‘that he _burns_ for.’

Amanda’s eyes widened and the blush in her cheeks somehow intensified.

‘But you are human, and he cares for you. He has gone to T’Rea to spare you injury.’ T’Fon continued.

The thought of Sarek _with_ T’Rea turned Amanda’s stomach even as she let out a little huff of relief.\

 

* * *

 

A healer came and Amanda’s bruises were gone before she retired to bed. An odd sort of nervous energy kept her from sleeping properly. She woke up several times, tense, certain that Sarek was right beside her, but the room was empty.

The jittery feeling of unease remained the following day.

She supposed that it was just concern. From what T’Fon had shared with her she knew how dangerous Pon Farr was. The madness and death that awaited Sarek if he did not satisfy the mating drive. And whatever her confusing mess of feelings for Sarek were, if he died, she had no doubt her life would become infinitely worse. Slavery or death seemed the most likely outcomes for a dead Prince’s alien mistress.

Although… perhaps she could just… slip home to Earth before anyone remembered her. At the thought a swelling wave of homesickness overwhelmed her. She wondered what her father and Winona were doing right now. Her cousin would be alone at court now - apart from Amanda the King had other living relatives. Amanda hoped her father was doting upon his niece. He’d had a tendency to ignore or forget the girl in the past. If not, well, there was the little dog that George Kirk had given her. Winona had seemed very fond of the thing.

Again Amanda’s sleep was fretful.

She wanted to ask T’Fon how the Prince fared, but such an inquiry would be ridiculous.

On the third night Amanda found herself coming to her senses in the hallway beyond her rooms, barefoot and dressed in her sleeping robe. One of her servants was trailing behind her, asking where she was going, what she was doing. For a moment she was disorientated and terrified. Then she understood.

Sarek was calling her.

It was not as clear as his usual imperious summons, but it had been enough for her to stumble half-asleep from her bed and out into the palace halls.

She returned to her bed but could not sleep, the pull of it a nag that jarred her whenever her thoughts calmed into rest.

She could not sleep at all the next evening, the pull of Sarek’s call impossible to ignore.

On the fifth day she told T’Fon.

Her handmaiden seemed disturbed, and Amanda could understand why. From the memories she’d shared – a Vulcan woman could tell when her mate went into pon farr – and Sarek’s pull upon her was something similar. It was maddening. She was exhausted, had not slept and could not sleep, and she worse of all, she felt as if something was terribly wrong. It was like a toothache, a constant twinge of jarring wrongness.

T’Fon remained with her on the sixth night. First she fed her soothing teas that lulled her into sleep, but that just made it worse. She’d sleep – for a few minutes, no more – and then she’d awaken, her body lurching up beyond her control, responding thoughtlessly to Sarek’s summons. T’Fon then gave her a stim hypo. The exhaustion faded as the drugs hit her system, and Amanda felt almost herself. With her strength returned to her, even artificially, she was able to ignore Sarek’s call.

The next day was less painful than the previous with the stims keeping her alert and focused. But then she overheard two of her human servants gossiping.

The Prince’s time had dragged on far too long. There was talk that he was dying.

From what T’Fon had shared with her, it seemed a legitimate concern.

Amanda summoned T’Fon and T’Sella.

Her handmaidens seemed wary and regarded her with closed expressions. Amanda had no patience. She was strung out and stressed beyond all reason. ‘Why has it not ended?’ she asked them bluntly.

T’Sella sniffed. ‘It is not spoken of.’

Amanda glared at her. ‘It _is_ spoken of, or my servants would not be gossiping of it!’ she snapped back before turning her attention to T’Fon. ‘Why?’

T’Fon glanced at T’Sella before replying in a very low voice. ‘It is said that the Prince threw Princess T’Rea from his rooms. That he will not see her.’

Amanda felt the blood drain from her face. ‘What?! _Why?’_

T’Sella pursed her lips. ‘It is not our place to discuss such matters.’

T’Fon shot the older woman a fierce Vulcan glare. ‘Reldai Amanda is the Prince’s _bonded_. He _calls_ for her. I can think of no other who should be appraised on such matters.’

The truth was suddenly very obvious. Amanda recalled T’Fon’s words of almost a week past – _‘He burns for you.’_ Fear and dismay welled up inside her. ‘He’s going to die isn’t he?’ she asked quietly.

The Vulcan women broke off their glaring contest to look at her. T’Sella nodded. ‘It has been too long. Few last as long as the Prince has without respite.’

‘And he will not see T’Rea…’ T’Fon added.

Amanda swallowed. ‘It’s me isn’t it?’ she asked.

T’Fon bit her lip and glanced down at her lap, but T’Sella just nodded. ‘Yes.’

Memories not her own – T’Fon’s recollections of heat and burning madness – overwhelmed her. It was so… _alien._ So violent and terrible. She could not… how could she willingly accept such a thing?

‘He’ll kill me.’ she whispered.

T’Fon shuffled forward on her knees and settled beside her, an arm wrapped around her shoulders.

T’Sella just stared. ‘Most likely. You are fragile little thing. The Prince left orders that you were to be kept from his presence until he was recovered for this reason.’

There was nothing else to say, no more questions to ask and T’Sella took her leave. T’Fon remained. ‘You must think upon what you will do Reldai.’ she said. ‘With the Prince dead you will not be safe here.’ she was silent for a moment. ‘The Prince keeps a shuttle on the private hanger deck. He ensured I had clearance.’

Amanda felt fresh tears sting her eyes at that. ‘Did he know then? When he said you should keep me from him – did he know this would happen?’

T’Fon did not reply.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's commented or sent me messages about this story, it's slowly, painfully, drawing to a close. I would have had this for you a week or so ago, but people wanted some pon far porn rather than a fade to black and it took me ages to write something that wasn't terrible. Thanks to Lamb and PoorQ for feedback and advice. x
> 
> warning: This chapter is very porny. If you'd prefer a slightly toned down but still smutty version, please read the chapter on FF.net instead.

Amanda did not sleep. The healer said the stims would start to cause organ damage if she continued on them any longer, but she had no choice. She thought. Hard.

Perhaps the stims and lack of sleep were affecting her brain, but she seemed to have a lot to think about. They were like a vast puzzle, her thoughts, and she felt on the verge of having all the pieces fall into place. But she could not… concentrate. Sarek's call tugged at her, a constant reminder that he was lying in his rooms, mad with the blood fever. Dying.

For her?

Because he did not wish to hurt her?

Or had he just assumed T'Rea would serve him as she had in the past? Perhaps he had not even considered this outcome. It was possible that his order she be kept from him had not been given with any thought to this possible consequence. Sarek was not selfless. He was proud and cruel. He could be kind, but Amanda could not imagine him willingly choosing death. She could imagine him regretting  _her_  death, maybe even mourning her a bit - his little Terran favourite, but choosing his own death over her safety?

No. That was not Sarek at all.

Of course he was beyond making such a choice himself. So long in plak'tow, he would be incapable of speech or coherent thought, a mindless embodiment of his most primitive needs and desires.

So then… Amanda must be the one to choose. She could remain and do nothing – wait for death or worse once Sarek succumbed, or she could flee as T'Fon had suggested and pray she would not be sought out… but… Sarek was dying because of  _her._ If not for her, T'Rea would have served him as she had before, that much was plain. And with her son and heir dead, what would the Empress do to Amanda - she who was the cause? She would not let her return to Earth in peace. She would have to hide, go into exile. They would look for her. Would they punish her father? Earth would be the first place they looked for her and Amanda could not imagine them simply leaving her family in peace.

Running would mean bringing down the Empress's wrath on Terra once more.

But if she stayed, if she went to Sarek… The insight T'Fon had shared with her made the outcome of that plain enough - he would likely kill her.

And then what?

He'd… be  _sorry_  that she was dead, that he'd hurt her. He would regret it. Of that Amanda was certain. Sarek, who would one day be Emperor would know that he owed his life to her, a human - that instead of fleeing she had chosen to save his life, despite the hurt he had caused her and her people.

That was something. Something important.

Would that finally show him? Sarek had hinted at things, implied he did not entirely follow the Imperial rhetoric on Vulcan superiority. For all his dismissive and controlling behaviour towards her, he did not treat her like she was stupid, and he certainly wasn't repulsed by her physically. Would owing his life to her finally prove to him that humans and the other races of the galaxy were equal to his own?

Perhaps.

If not, it would at least push him in the right direction.

Her thoughts spiralled and grew like living things, not quite her own.

Amanda recalled evenings spent with Winona after they'd had too much spice-wine. Talking about the vastness of the universe and the mysteries of life – epiphanies over the mundane. Her thoughts were drifting in a similar manner.

It seemed like the right thing to do, the moral and noble choice, was to save Sarek. Not just because she did not wish him to die, but because he was the Crown Prince, and to influence him was a powerful thing. If her death could soften him, make him  _think..._  perhaps the Empire would have a kinder ruler one day. Maybe one day, decades from now, he would be sitting in judgement of some alien world and think of her, little human girl who saved his life, and he would not commit some genocide or another.

That was worth her death surely?

Yes. Amanda decided. It was.

She'd expected death long ago – back when Sarek had first singled her out at her father's banquet. That death would have achieved nothing and she'd been willing to meet it. At least… at least this time her death at Sarek's hands would not be meaningless.

Her mind made up, Sarek's pull upon her seemed to grow even stronger, an aching throb.  _I am coming_  she thought, even though Sarek could not hear her, would not understand her if he could.

She dressed in her favourite dress and robe, one of those Winona had sent from Earth. Nipponese silk in deep blue and green, elaborately decorated with flowers, birds and twisting clouds. Very pretty and very Terran, in both colour and design. Vulcan's did not dye their silks vivid blues and greens - there were no green forests or blue skies on Vulcan to emulate - and there were certainly no little pink flowers or bright-feathered songbirds to be found on a Vulcan T'Sai's robes.

Amanda applied her makeup with more care than usual and brushed out her hair so it hung in chestnut waves. Impulsively she opened the carved box that contained the pearl parure Sarek had given her what seemed like a life time ago. She picked up an earring. It was heavy in her hand, iridescent and lovely. She'd never actually worn any of the jewels. It was a shame, they were very beautiful. Now seemed a good a time as any. She donned the entire elaborate set, headdress and all. It did not quite match her robe, but the pearls glimmered prettily enough in her mirror.

T'Fon was sitting up with T'Sella outside her bedchamber door.

Both Vulcans looked up at her expectantly.

T'Fon inhaled sharply at her appearance. 'You are going to him?' she asked, not really a question.

Amanda nodded anyway.

 

* * *

 

There was a small crowd gathered in the receiving room of the Prince's Apartment. Unlike the last time she had been summoned hence, no guard barred her entrance. T'Fon and T'Sella accompanied her and no comment was made. Amanda paid little attention to her surroundings. She felt more like a princess than she had in a long time. It was very much a royal thing, to put on a pretty dress and jewels and walk calmly towards death. Her fear had faded and a detached melancholy had taken its place. She wanted it to be over. Wanted to silence the raw ache of Sarek's call. Wanted to never again walk the gilded halls of the Imperial Palace amidst sneering Vulcans and simpering slaves. She was tired, sick of being afraid, and a part of her was relieved at the thought of dying.

She recalled her mother's talk of heaven, not the Sha-ka-ri of Vulcan lore, the official, enforced faith of the Empire, but the Christian heaven of their ancestors. A golden paradise where the good and kind spent eternity with their loved ones. A place where there would be not a Vulcan or slave in sight.

Was Amanda good?

She had tried to be.

Perhaps she had once been a spoilt child, unaware of the truth of the Empire, of her position above an enslaved and trampled humanity, but she had changed much since then. Her mother had said god forgave all his children as long as they repented, and Amanda repented her youthful vanity and pride wholeheartedly. Silently she sent a prayer up, asking for forgiveness, begging a place beside her mother and brother in heaven. She focused on that thought, ignoring those around her, filling her mind with visions of them smiling and happy, waiting for her eagerly.  _Please God please, let me join them_ she prayed in English.

So intent was she upon her morbid introspection, that only the presence of the Empress herself was enough to pull her from it.

T'Pau sat resplendent in a golden throne that had not been in the room when last Amanda was in it. Arrayed around her were a dozen T'Sai and highly ranked Reldai – her ladies. Some were playing instruments, or talking quietly to one another, but three were sat around a spindly little table with the Empress, playing what appeared to be a Ferengi gambling game. Amanda recognised the little latinum bars, the square tokens and marked sticks the women held. She recalled her brother playing it with his friends.

The Empress had turned her face ever so slightly to stare at her.

She was smoking a very long pipe from which thick blue smoke was slinking heavily to form a pungent fog around her golden slippers.

Her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed as she eyed Amanda shrewdly. 'What are you doing here girl?' she demanded. Her voice was rough from whatever acrid, foul, thing she was smoking.

The room fell silent.

Amanda supposed she ought to feel scared, impressed or nervous. Here was T'Pau, the most powerful figure in the galaxy, with her dark eyes set upon her. She was beyond caring however. Instead of thinking upon all the power this woman held, Amanda instead found herself pondering the stink of her pipe and the way her makeup was cracked along the wrinkles framing her pursed lips. She looked much older than Amanda had expected. The intricate crown she wore was perched upon thick braids that were obviously not woven from her own thinning hair.

Amanda was silent too long. T'Fon gave a deep bow and replied for her in the formal Court dialect. 'Your Imperial Majesty, Reldai Amanda has come to serve thee.'

T'Pau stared hard at T'Fon for a moment before looking again at to Amanda. She chewed on her pipe, her teeth tapping the stem with a clicking noise that echoed in the silent room. 'The komihn cannot serve.' she said. 'No matter how my son favours his little pet.' T'Pau waved a gnarled hand dismissively. 'Too weak.'

Amanda did not bother replying, just stared back blandly. The Empress would let her pass, she had nothing to lose after all. It didn't matter to T'Pau that Sarek would likely kill her. All Amanda had to do was wait out her insults.

'She has no right to be here!' someone called from near the entrance.

Amanda did not recognise the shrill angry voice until she turned to face the speaker. T'Rea stood across the room. As far from the Empress as possible Amanda noted. She doubted the Princess was T'Pau's favourite person right now. Turning her back upon the Princess, Amanda returned her attention to the Empress. 'He calls for me.' she said simply.

T'Pau puffed out a long stream of smoke. 'He will most likely snap your neck girl.' she replied blandly in Imperial Standard. Amanda made no argument. T'Pau chewed on her pipe some more. The room was silent for a long moment as the Empress apparently mulled the situation over. 'I doubt you will suffice, but since  _T'Rea,_ ' the old Vulcan shot a glare of pure malice at the Princess, 'has already proven her worthlessness in this matter…' she sucked on her pipe, her thin lips smacking wetly, 'go then, let Sarek tear you into pieces. Perhaps if you put up enough of a fight…' she shrugged and then made a gesture to the armed guards standing before the inner door. They stepped aside.

Amanda bowed to the Empress and walked towards the door. She could see the agitated shape of T'Rea out of the corner of her eye, but she did not look to her, instead she followed the ache that was her bond to Sarek.

T'Fon and T'Sella did not follow.

She heard an inelegant snort as the doors swung shut behind her. ' _Humans._ ' the Empress muttered.

 

* * *

 

Sarek's bedchamber was dark.

Amanda stood just inside, the door a prickle at her back, and waited for her eyes to adjust, her heart hammering in her chest.

It was hot. Swelteringly hot. Like midday in a Vulcan desert. Sweat beaded on her brow and her pretty robes were suddenly dragging heavily at her. The headdress perched atop her head seemed twice as heavy as when she'd put it on earlier. It dug into her scalp and pulled at her hair. The pearls around her neck seemed to be strangling her, smothering her breath. Her body shook, shivering despite the heat, and Sarek's hold upon her grew steadily to a crushing crescendo.

Amanda shut her eyes and took several deep breaths. She recited one of the snippets of human prayer she remembered as she tried to calm herself. The dark shadows slowly resolved themselves into recognisable shapes. Sort of. Couches, tables, chairs, pillows… but broken and strewn across the room as if they had been tossed around by a giant.

Gingerly Amanda picked her way through the debris, her eyes darting around herself and her ears pricked. The huge carved bed was shoved off to one side, stripped bare and vacant. The room was silent and she was loathe to break it… But where was he? She licked her lips and peered into the corners.

'Sarek?' she whispered.

There a noise. She rounded the bed and saw him.

Sarek was sat upon the floor, his knees drawn up under his chin and his arms locked around his shins. There was a faint whining, sobbing noise coming from him and he was rocking back and forth.

He looked pathetic. It calmed Amanda as her fear was softened with pity.

Whatever else he was, (mad), he was sick (dying, hurting). And whatever reasons she might have to do this thing, standing in front of Sarek, Amanda realised the most important one was that  _she did not want him to die._

Somehow Sarek, cruel, proud, arrogant Sarek, had wormed his way into her heart. Amanda felt a strange, sorrowful relief at the realisation. She stopped fighting the pull of their bond and crossed towards him. 'Sarek?' she called again.

The whine increased in pitch and he twitched, his head pressing down against his knees. Amanda stopped just out of his reach and sunk to her knees. She licked her lips and hesitantly reached out to touch his shoulder. 'Sarek?'

He jerked in response, a violent movement, and then her arm was yanked sharply and she was sprawled across his lap, her chest held tight against the unrelenting heat of his body. He wore only sweat drenched sleeping pants, and everywhere else was bare,  _burning_ skin. Amanda reeled as a wave of intense dizziness swept over her. The bond between them flared and burnt, his need of her like an audible hum and she gasped, digging her fingers into the meat of his shoulders. His eyes were fever-bright and unrecognisable. His breath came in hot pants and his entire body was shaking minutely. His grip on her – her arm and her waist – gradually increased in strength. The whining sob was gone, replaced with a low growling rumble. Up so close she could see flecks of dried blood around his mouth from cracked or bitten lips. She knew he was lost entirely to the blood fever, his wits long gone, and yet his expression was… accusing.

She felt their bond suddenly sharpen, like a rope given a tug. It hurt.

'I am sorry.' she said. 'I should have come sooner.'

He did not react at all to her words. His face was a twisted mask, handsomeness obliterated into harsh sneering lines. He twisted a fist in her robe at her shoulder and Amanda heard it tear along a seam. She wanted to cringe and cower from him, but instead she let her braver instincts guide her.

She lifted her hands and wrapped them around his face, staring him full in the eye. His features softened, 'Sarek,' she murmured. 'I am here.'

He stared at her for a long moment, and then was a confused flurry of restless movement. He pulled at her robes, curled fingers in her hair, mouthed at her jaw and neck – his tongue rasping against her skin as he tasted her - pawed at her breasts, her hips and the curve of her backside, but his movements were silted, interrupted, as if he wanted to touch every part of her all at once but could not. Amanda leant into his touch, it was rough and messy, but every time he touched her skin she felt a curl of heat and some of the tension of the past few days slipped away with it in sweet relief. She needed him to touch her.

Sarek had managed to get her seated across his thighs and was tearing at her robes as he softly bit along her collarbone. Amanda leant her head backwards to give him more room. Her headdress slipped off and hit the ground and rolled somewhere. The pearls around her neck were gone. Sarek's teeth scraped wetly over her throat as he shoved the ruins of her robe down over her shoulders. The sharp sting had Amanda moaning her pleasure as she flailed her arms to untangle the ruined silk at her elbows. Freed of the constriction she reared up on her knees and wrapped her arms around Sarek's head, pulling him tightly against her and relishing the feel of his sweat-slick body against her bare skin.

Her undergarments, being less cumbersome, Sarek simply ripped off her body. Instead of the fear she had thought she would feel at being naked and exposed before Sarek in his plak tow, Amanda's thoughts had narrowed almost entirely to pure sensation. She'd hardly moved and yet found herself panting and shivering as if she'd run to near exhaustion. Her skin felt clammy and feverish and everywhere she touched Sarek felt like hot, perfect, relief. Sarek's hands were running over her body, painting lines up her thighs, her hips and up around her waist to trace the length of her spine and press into the wings of her shoulder blades. He pulled her flush against him and held her in his arms, his body solid and unyielding where it pressed firmly into the swell of her breasts and between her thighs.

Amanda carded her fingers through his damp hair and crowded closer. The pain from the bond had twisted into something else entirely and she longed for his kiss, for the taste of him in her mouth and the touch of his mind against hers. Blindly she tugged at his hair and squirmed in his grip until he lifted his face from her skin and she could press her mouth to his.

The hiss of annoyance on his tongue turned into a moan that vibrated along her teeth. With the first wet pass of her tongue across his lips Sarek suddenly seemed to recall what kissing was and decided he needed to do a lot of it, very thoroughly. Amanda kiss was quickly turned on its head as he licked into her mouth and curled his tongue against hers. He tasted like copper and Amanda felt something shake within her at the metallic tang. It was good, so good. She wanted more, more of his taste, more of him.

She kissed him until her jaw ached and her lips were puffy and bruised but it wasn't enough. She wanted to consume him, swallow him down inside her, twist herself into his very flesh until she's touched every part of him, every atom.

When his fingers stroked along the line of her cheekbone a thin wail of longing escaped her. Yes yes, his mind, she wanted that too, wanted that most of all. Sarek pushed her onto her back and stared down at her black-eyed, both hands now feverish on her face. His lips were flushed green and Amanda wanted to kiss him again, but the drag of thick fingers along her temple held her back.

She arched her back as the touch sparked across their bond, pulling at the tension of it in a way that was both agonising and euphoric. Sarek groaned and leant forward to press his brow to hers, his body flush and heavy atop her, his erection a steel bar against her hip, leaking and smearing her skin with precome. The heavy promise of it distracted her, had her writhing, hooking a leg around his thigh and rocking up against him right as he  _finally_ settled his fingers against her face and joined their minds.

Amanda shuddered and thrashed as heat and ecstasy burnt through her veins like acid. She felt herself pulse and flutter in wet heat between her legs, her body's emptiness suddenly unbearable, an ache a thousand time worse than the compulsion of Sarek's pull had been.

Above her Sarek snarled and then reared back and pulled at her hips and thighs, roughly aligning their bodies even as her legs grappled and twisted at his hips attempted to achieve the same. It took seconds but it felt like an eternity, like endless burning eons, and then his hips snapped forward and Amanda's world went white with delirious shock as shoved himself inside her. She was with him as he took her, fucked into her as only a Vulcan could, his mind as ensnared with her as his body, every sensation and pleasure given as hers were taken. It was nothing like the other times. His fingers dug into her hip and under the curve of her arse, pining her down and open for him, but she felt his thoughts as clearly as if those digits were still pressed to her face.

A distant part of her wondered at that but then Sarek was moving, taking her in jarring uneven strokes, and Amanda lost herself in the rapture and relief that the movement brought. Her pleasure crashed over her after only minutes, Amanda was so overwhelmed with sensation. Sarek crowed his satisfaction and leant over her, bracing himself with a hand above her shoulder as he chased his own finish.

Amanda wrapped her legs around him and touched him compulsively, his shoulders, his arms, his back, every part of him she could reach. He panted and gasped under her touch as he fucked her, dark eyes boring into her. His skin was hot and damp with perspiration and it the play of muscles beneath it, steely and powerful, twisted something inside her. Just touching wasn't enough. She tightened her grip, dug her fingers into the meat of his back. When her nails scored faint green lines into his skin he growled and his hips jerked roughly and she felt how he liked it. When she turned her head and bit his bicep, hard, hard enough to bruise and draw a little blood, he howled pined her to the floor with his hips, slamming into her once, twice and then spending himself hot and pulsing inside her. Amanda whimpered as the echoed ache of it rocked through her.

Sarek collapsed, panting, onto her.

Amanda pressed her face against his shoulder and revelled in the familiar smell of his skin and the feel of him warm and pliant atop her. Her thoughts didn't clear from the haze of arousal, but a thrum of contentment hummed at her from Sarek and she relaxed for the first time in a week.

He had her again on the floor where they lay, then on her knees draped over the bed so he could penetrate he deeply and slowly from behind. Amanda, by then somewhat achy and bruised, crawled up onto the bed. Sarek followed and curled his body around hers like a cat, pressing close to her as she napped.

When she awoke it was as if they'd not touched at all. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe beyond the burning need. She wrapped herself around Sarek, soft and demanding, and whined until he pressed inside her again. Her body was a mess, wet and filthy with his come and her own arousal, but Sarek groaned in pleasure at the slick give of her.

Afterwards he withdrew from her and filled her with his fingers instead, twisting them inside her soaked and swollen body with great relish. He stared down at the apex of her thighs as he fingered her, every now and then withdrawing his digits so it could inspect the mess upon them, then dragging them wetly across her skin, her belly, her breasts, her thighs, tracing a word, a single Vulcan glyph into her skin again and again and again. _t'nash-veh, t'nash-veh, t'nash-veh. mine, mine, mine._

He turned her on her side, curling up behind her, and continued his exercise, anointing her between her shoulder blades and then on each buttock. Heat was slowly building again inside Amanda, and she shifted her hips restlessly, grinding shamelessly against the hard line of him. In response he nipped at her shoulder and gripped her hip sharply, halting the movement. Amanda groaned in frustration but Sarek just dug his teeth in a little harder and slipped a hand back between her soaked thighs and into her dripping sex.

He slid three thick fingers into her easily and rocked them slowly against that place deep inside that made her gasp. Amanda felt herself become impossibly wetter as Sarek teased her until she was throbbing with need once more, desperate to feel him inside her again.

When he withdrew his fingers she sighed, assuming he meant to replace them with something better, but instead he smoothed them back along her body to circle wetly against the tight little hole there. Amanda's breath stuttered in shock, she'd never been touched there before, but she was too far gone to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable and when Sarek began teasing the clenched muscle, dragging a wet fingertip across it, catching the rim, she groaned. When he dipped his pinky a little inside, just to the first knuckle, the unfamiliar heat of it made her gasp, but she felt no particular urge to move away or try and stop him. She wanted him to touch her, it didn't matter where. The heat in her blood,  _their_ blood demanded it.

She was so wet with their combined fluids, her thighs slippery and damp, that it was easy for Sarek to keep his finger slick with it as he slowly pressed inside her body, dipping in and out and learning the shape and feel of her.

It felt strange, hot and tight, but it excited Sarek and made Amanda ache hollowly. When he replaced his pinky with a thicker finger it burned a little, but then he was shoving a hand under her waist and curling it around to tease her swollen nub in counterpoint and Amanda shivered in confused pleasure. The second finger hurt, but by then Amanda was so strung out on arousal that her body quickly loosened and relaxed around the intrusion. When Sarek slid a finger inside her sex and pressed back against those buried inside her backside, the sensation was unlike any she'd ever felt before and it drew a strangled cry from her lips at the intensity of it.

He fingered her for what felt like a long time, teasing Amanda to the verge of orgasm and then drawing her back. By the time he had three wet fingers crooked inside her, she was sobbing in need, her hips fucking back against him hungrily. Sarek was panting against her shoulder, his erection leaking wetly against her backside. She knew he was just as desperate as she, the green heat of plak tow raging between them. When he withdrew his fingers and lifted her leg, Amanda pressed back against him in invitation, needing him to do  _something._  He dragged his length along the soaked cleft of her body until he was as slick as his fingers had been, and then nudged against her opening. Amanda reached back and gripped his hip, trying to pull him closer, inside her,  _faster._  But he was immoveable, the only outward sign of his lack of composure the hot pants of breath fanning across her neck and shoulder.

She was so wet and he'd teased her, stretched her out for so long that the first give of her body around him didn't hurt at all, the tip of his shaft dipping back where his fingers had been buried. It was only as he pressed in further, as her body stretched around the swollen head of him, that the burning pain returned. He slowed, withdrew and then worked himself back in a tiny bit further before repeating the process, thrusting deeper and deeper into her in small increments until something gave and the burning dimmed to a low ache as he slid fully inside her.

Amanda gasped and gurgled incoherently at the confusing sensation, torn between a desire for more and for him to stop. As he rocked his hips forward, splitting her body open around his in an entirely new way, her lust won out and she arched her back in welcome, accepting him inside her despite the discomfort.

The ache was deep and strange, not nearly as good as having him inside her in the usual way, but then Sarek had fingers pressed against her temple and intense pleasure spread through her across the connection.  _She was tight, impossibly, painfully tight around him and that fact combined with the knowledge that she was his, that now he'd had every part of her and nothing remained for another to claim made him exultant in his triumph._

Amanda groaned weakly, hands reaching back to twist in Sarek's hair and grip his hip respectively. Yes yes she was his, all of her. Sarek pulled out, the velvet grip of her body making him gasp and shake, then slowly slid back. The dull ache remained in the background, but was swamped by what Sarek was pressing into her consciousness, heat and slick tight pressure, the smell of her the feel of her around him and in his arms.

She gave up trying to understand the strange new sensation and simply lost herself in the meld, in the push and pull and perfect custom fit of her body around his.


End file.
